How To Live Like an Omani Princess

Daily Diary: Umrah Goodies

2012-02-13T18:45:00.000-08:00

For non-Muslim readers: Umrah is pilgrimage to the holy places in Mecca, Saudi Arabia.

Whenever my friends and family go for Umrah to Mecca they always bring me back something.

My boss' mother got me kohl, my boss got me a prayer mat, my friend got me some good Islamic books, a Saudi girlfriend got me a prayer garment, and my mother in law just came back the other day bearing a whole carload gifts.

I have a big bottle of zam zam water. A new coat and some toys for the baby. Perfume for husband and myself.

And an absolutely deliciously scented supply of bukhoor (incense) and a saudi-style burner for it.

I am usually not a big fan of bukhoor beyond laban (frankincense) but this particulour Oud does not smell like cat pee to me. It smells smoky and tasty and almost sweet but still foresty. Yum.

I can't wait to scent all the clothes in our wardrobe with it. :)

May Allah accept the prayers she made in Mecca, ameen.

The Truth About Shatti's Haunted House, Nizwa's Jinn/Goat and/or Donkey Personage, and Bahla's Witch on the Hill and the Witches' Chained Tree

2012-02-13T14:11:00.000-08:00

Living anywhere in Oman, you're bound to hear a story or two. Even in Muscat.

Have you ever passed by the orange-and white villa with big clear windows directly across from Bareeq Al Shatti complex? Well rumour says that it is haunted.

One of my good friend's family villa is built right next door. The true story is that the villa belongs to an Omani man's foriegn wife whose only child died so she usually flies away back home to her home country because she's lonely and sad here. Her house is maintained by its staff. When the cement on the facade falls off, it is repaired ASAP. It is not some magical entity.

What about the tale of the hitchhiking old man who is picked up around Nizwa, when lo and behold, the driver of the vehicle discovers that the man has the legs of a donkey?!

Well, ask around about the driver from the tale, and you'll find out he was a fellow from Jebel Akdhar that all too often sampled his own home grown wine;).

Friends of an old friend (not my friends, lol, let me make that clear) told her that they had a similiar experience in the Interior. They were driving home late one night and were waved down by the most beautiful Omani woman they had ever seen. She was wearing an old style of dress and spoke in an old way and they being guys, immediately stopped to help her inside.

Only after driving a few miles did they realize, she had the legs of a goat.

"Were you drinking?" my friend asked them, eyebrows raised.

"No," they told her.

She thought for a minute. "Were you on drugs then?"

"Well...." they relented, admitting they'd been high on hasheesh. "But it really happened! We really stopped to let this woman in and drove with her a ways! It was a Jinn."

"Uh huh."

"Really, it was a Jinn."

IF THEY REALLY DID stop and pick up the Jinn-Goat Girl, I amuse myself picturing three high-out-of-their-minds Omani guys driving back from Nizwa spotting a helpless "girl" on the side of the road, and cramming a bemused goat into the backseat of their car, and trying to coyly sneak their arms around the cud-chewing kid until the drugs wore off enough that the hooves of the 'jinn girl' began to manifest. A bad 'trip' in more ways than one;XD

What about the Witch-man from Bahla who sits atop the mountain and casts curses and hexes on the travellers that pass through the valley that was once his land? Story goes that the road was built through his property. Many a man and innocent perished under his accursed gaze as they tried to make their way through the valley.

Truth is? That man doesn't OWN any lands. He doesn't know any spells. He's a Shepherd. What he does for a living is accompany sheep and goats while they graze, and the valley is perfect for them to nibble and eat as they must. He found that from the mountain top he can watch his whole flock easily.

What about the deaths?

At the bottom of the valley is a road with a dangerously sharp curve. It is the curve in the road that causes the men driving vehicles that are driving too fast to meet their eventual doom a day or two early, not an old man above keeping his eye on some sheep and a gaggle of goats;)

What about the chained tree in Bahla's souq? I heard a tourist guide telling visitors that the locals built a wall around it because anyone who ventures under it is turned into a cow.

Honestly, when I heard that, I was like, I am going to climb me a wall!

But no folks, that is not true, though there is ACTUALLY a curse to Bahla's chained tree. For real this time.

Way before Islam came to Oman the pagan folk in Bahla used to offer sacrifices under the Bahla souq tree. Some of them were blood sacrifices. The practice continued way after the advent of Islam in Oman, well into the 1960s. Witches (who were later charged as con-men and women by the ROP for blackmailing gullible folk) convinced people that if the tree were killed it would let the evil of some of the bad wishes people had made while giving their sacrifices out so folk would not burn or cut the tree down (as some of them already had tried to do). [It is a dense type of wood and does not burn quickly or easily and is hard to chop] and so it was chained to keep the spirits in.

The more religious (and intelligent Bahla citizens) eventually made a move to stop superstitious people from offering blood sacrifices under the tree, and erected a wall around it, and it exists in that state to this day.

That story IS true about there being a chained and walled wicked tree in Bahla that was once the altar of the willayat's witches. Just not the cow part of the curse.;)

Nadia has written about Salalah citizens throwing gold into the sea for wishes, and the rumour about Sultan Qaboos having a ring that helps him control a Jinn/Genie, on the Dhofari Gucci blog.

Dear readers residing in Oman: what other wondrous tales have you been told or been telling?;)

OPNO's STYLE FILES: "Dreamer"

2012-02-09T12:50:00.000-08:00

I LOOOOVE ETSY: Moroccan Stencils

2012-02-09T12:24:00.000-08:00

I am a hardcore DIY addict. Which is a somewhat rare and dying personality among the women I have been aquainted with in Oman. Though I did just see a special on OmanTV2 on a school for Omani women where they learn engraving and embossing, and THEIR work looked just incredible. I don't like to spend money if I don't have to when I can make something just as gorgeous for less money with a little effort. Or reuse something I already have a breathe new life into it. So I just discovered these Moroccan Stencils on Etsy. I am sooooo going to use them when I have the time and money to do a makeover. No, I cannot afford inlaid walls and panelled ceilings. But I can fake it with the best of them;XD thanks to this webpage http://www.etsy.com/search/handmade?q=Moroccan+stencil&view_type=gallery&ship_to=OM and the Royale Designs featured there. I know these are Morrocan designs but Omanis have always traditionally painted their ceilings and my ceilings are so ugly right now, and not to mention boring, so inshaAllah, someday soon...

People in Sohar are Soooooo Nice!

2012-02-09T11:49:00.000-08:00

People in Sohar are soooooooooooo nice!

Okay, maybe not those folks who burnt down the Lulu and set a gas truck on fire.

But everyone else I've ever met from Sohar are, like, weirdly, otherworldly nice.

They would remind me of that creepy kidnapper who lures a kid to the car with free candy, only, they'd be that man with the candy and you'd follow him to his car and... and they'd just give you the candy and drive away.

Or, more likely, if they were from Sohar, they'd invite you to their house for a meal.

And you'd eat that meal.

And no one would drug and murder you.

Usually I go to Sohar for the Homesense store. They actually have good customer service there. They don't tell me they don't have it in stock so I should check the other Homesense store when, modern entity that they are, they have phones!

THEY ACTUALLY PHONE AND CHECK FOR ME.

But that's not it.

Without me even asking.

Indrawn breath. I know, I know Muscat people, you are shocked.

All you can envision is the smoke from the Lulu as it is being looted, and the hollaring of young men at the Globe Roundabout.

People, do you know how rare that is in Oman? And thinking I am a Sohar resident, they ask me if I want their delivery truck system to bring it to the Sohar location so I don't even have to go to the trouble of going down to Muscat to get it?

I know, I know, it is far out of Muscat to go for what we already have, but it is worth it for the customer service. Plus when the Sohar delivery truck guys are delivering our furniture, oddly enough, no one steals our car out of the driveway or breaks into our house, unlike another oddly suspicious delivery from another Homesense location I shall not name because I do believe they dealth with that issue but....

In fact, evertime I go to the Sohar Homesense a family of local Sohar women approach me. They say they know I am not from Sohar and thus a traveller so they insist I go to their home and eat dinner with them and after that, that we exchange phone numbers, and even though I am horrible at staying in touch with friends by text, they never miss an Eid or event in my life without congratulating and asking if I need anything.

Totally weird, and oh so nice.

Three families! Three different trips, each time another family.

I thought Sohar is big? Why does it seem that everyone knows everyone well enough to know that one isn't from around there then?

One random Dr. from Sohar offered to deliver my baby free of charge at a private institution if I couldn't go to a government hospital when it was made known I was in a bit of a fix. I knew her, what, only 40 minutes when she decided to make an offer that might risk her job position to help me out.

Another time I had been heading up to UAE to renew my visa, and it was Ramadan, so my husband and I stopped to break our fast on the side of the road just past Sohar. This Sohar man stopped in his car and insisted my husband follow him to his house for a meal that consisted of a dozen courses, I swear.

My first experience with Omanis from Sohar though was when I'd been in a bit of an incident and someone had accused me of beating a girl up who had been my roomate {the boyfriend of the girl was the one accusing me and HE'D ACTUALLY been the one to beat the girl and I'd just been arguing with her that she should leave him for that and she wanted to kick me out of our flat for that WITHOUT giving me the ADVANCE RENT I HAD PAID} and so we'd all ended up in the police station. I hadn't had much luck with telling my personal troubles to Omani men in the past as they usually use that information to take advantage of one and to try to get into her pants, even ROP guys in the station, but the 2 guys handling our case were from Sohar.

When they heard both sides of the story, and realized how thick the finger mark bruising was on my ex-roomie's body they realized I was telling truth (my fingers couldn't make marks like those) they said I could stay as long as I wanted in the flat, and neither she or her boyfriend were allowed to speak to me anymore, but if I didn't want to live there, they could get me another place to live.

2 days later one of their sisters rang me up. She'd found me an inexpensive flat in a family villa and a better paying job so I could move out and move on with my life.

The two guys from the police station never phoned me again after that, or texted me, trying to make any kind of relationship.

In Muscat, I can't even phone the Bank Muscat help line to get my messed up wire transfers fixed without the dude 'helping me' texting me at midnight asking me stupid personal questions, and same with his other friend who works at Oman International Bank who he gave my number to.

People from Sohar, at least in my experience, are really, really, really, really nice. And the niceness seems genuine, and not tied to anything else.

DAILY DIARY: Walk Along the Seeb Corniche and Beach

2012-02-08T06:55:00.000-08:00

Because of the full moon these days, I have been heading out to the beach alot. It is nice to walk and so beautiful, but freeeeeeeeziiiiiing for Oman.

Afterwards it was so nice to grab a stick of mishakeek to warm up.

My Own Photos: The Hotel in Misfah Al Abriyan

2012-02-08T04:59:00.000-08:00

I know I've already written about the restored traditional house in Misfah Al Abriyan run by a local family as a bed and breakfast, but I haven't posted my photos of the place.Called "Bayt Safil" by locals and simply "Al Abri B&B" or "guesthouse" by travellers, the hotel is located in the old section of Misfah among the stone and mud brick houses and green terraced hills. I like to come here especially in the summer when the heat in Muscat gets unbearable, as the mountains, and especially Misfah, get alot cooler. In the summer it cost 12 rials a night, but right now, in the peak of tourist season, I believe it is 25 rials per person. Which comes with a traditional Omani lunch and breakfast. Reservations can be made by calling (968) 92800120The hotel features this nice little lounge area with a great veiw of the banana, date, and lemon trees that terrace the Misfah's hills. Fully restored, there is electricty, modern showers and sinks, and air conditioning should you wish to turn it on.All the bedrooms feature a clean and comfy bed simply outfitted with white sheets and pillows and warmer blankets, beamed ceilings, and traditional style and materials. A few objects of Omani life decorate the rooms. Traditional village life was quite simple, and the simplicity of the rooms stays in that theme.Possibly my favourite place in the hotel is the outside dining/lounge area, which offers amazing veiws of the green farms of Misfah and some of the older, unrestored traditional houses of the Al Abri tribe. The sunlight streaming in here is so lovely.

Mistaken Identities Lead to Minor Incidents of Racism in the Sultanate for 2 of my Friends

2012-02-08T04:17:00.001-08:00

Dhofari Gucci just posted about the "Festival of Negroes" in Salalah and it reminded me of a distasteful event from three months ago I had swallowed in disgust, and forgotten about.

Back when I was having my baby, a really nice friend from back home and her BFF came to look after me. As I was busy HAVING the baby, my friend's friend (who is of course my friend now too) was in the waiting room with a bunch of other Omani ladies. She was busy looking after my friend's infant son, when a Dhofari woman came up to her, and demanded she open the window.

My friend's friend doesn't really speak Arabic but she figured this much out.

Her hands already full with the baby and couldn't understand why the woman couldn't open the window herself.

The Dhofari lady was getting awfully flustered and annoyed and kept insisting my kind, visiting guest open it.

My friend just ignored her. It is easy to do when you don't speak fluent Arabic. I do it all the time too.

The Dhofari lady finally gave up and got up to open the window herself, glaring daggers at my girl all the time.

When my friend told MOP about the incident, he instantly got as mad as he was embarrassed on the behalf of decent Omanis everywhere.

See, my friend in the waiting room is of African descent, and the Dhofari lady decided to treat her like a slave. Even if she did mistake our friend for a maid, she wouldn't have been her maid, so she wouldn't have had any right to order her around or speak to her like she was dumb, so this event was just disgusting.

MOP says she likely wouldn't have done so if my friend had been a real Philipino maid.

As disgusting as the 40 rial monthly salary of a real Tanzanian or Ethiopian maid in Oman is to me.

I know slavery has been abolished in Oman, so it is easy for me to forget sometimes, the racism of the Arab world towards skin tone.

I had another friend. She is Asian, married to an Omani from Al Qurum. I remember her telling me about all her husband's female relatives coming to meet the new wife he'd picked up in the West.

When she'd come to the door of her husband's villa to greet them they tossed her their abayas and asked to be taken to "madame" like she were dumb and couldn't understand proper English.

Little did they know the guest of honour they were coming to greet was the maid they'd buried under their overgarments, lol.

I'm sure they didn't make the impression they'd be hoping to make with the lady of the house.

Daily Diary: Al Mussanah Detour

2012-02-08T03:17:00.000-08:00

Did you know that there is a castle in Al Mussanah? Well, OPNO didn't. We got there by accident. See, we wanted to go to the beach in Barka, but the traffic was so backed up in the round about because of Muscat Festival in Naseem park, so we decided to drive back the opposite way to cut back through the less busy backstreets, but we missed our turn, and ended up at the Al Mussanah rounabout. By then, it was pretty close to sunset, so we figured we'd just check out Al Mussanah's coastline instead.Driving towards the Mussanah Souq to the beach, we discovered Al Mussanah castle. Of course, since it was way after 4 p.m it was closed, but we took some photos of the exterior.Still yet to head down to the beach, distracted as OPNO was by the call to prayer sounded, our party went seeking a Mosque. We found alot. This warmed OPNO's heart to see Mosque's no more than a house apart in Al Mussanah and she remarked to her friend that it must be a sign that maybe the people were more religious here. Her friend, a local, said the sight was actually saddening. It more likely spelt out that the Muslims were divided. Here was a Shia mosque, that a Sunni mosque, and those Ibadhi. Or that this tribe built their own mosque, and this other tribe built their own, ect. OPNO would never have figured it that way.While driving around the Mosques, we saw this beautiful door to a family's home and took a quick snap.After Magraib we headed down to the beach. Because it was windy there were a lot of waves, and looking down the coast towards the lights of Barka, a beautiful full moon shone [smaller than it appears in the photos].In the dusk light, we endeavored to take a few more shots of Al Mussanah castle, as it was extremely well lit. As with all detours in Oman, you never know what you might find.

The Women of Oman TV and Majan channel I

2012-02-03T13:47:00.000-08:00

Some photos taken of our television.

Alcohol and Islam

2012-02-03T11:31:00.000-08:00

I am kinda praying none of my inlaws read this, as I will be revealing a bit of my pre-Islam past, but I think I have to make the point, and the point is too important to care about what they might think, like oooh, awwww, this bad girl and alcohol, or, yikes, she used to go dancing.

For any Muslims who might read this, and say, you are revealing sins, I am not bragging about them. I am relating the lesson these events taught me, and to leave certain events out is to avoid the lesson. The truth hurts. I am over it, think the lesson is more important than what anybody thinks.

I want all non-Muslims to know why Islam doesn't allow us to drink, and how some Muslims come to reject that and all.

My parents were never alcoholics. In fact, I rarely saw them drunk. And if my Mom happened to drink too much, she was a funny drunk. My father usually drank in moderation.

My family has a French heritage and we often made our own wine. I tasted beer when I was 2. All children love the taste of malt, and had wine with dinner on occasion when I turned 8.

As a teenager I fell in with an intellectual, more sophisticated crowd who loved fine dining and could afford it because we all had good jobs and one was in the food industry. Cocktails were our thing. And I still had a nightcap with my Dad before bed.

Note: my brother was killed by a drunk driver. My parents did not let that effect their drinking. Not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic. Not everyone who drinks has problems.

Doctors have even proven that 1 glass of red wine is good for the heart.

I also had another set of friends, and even though we weren't of legal age in our country, we got into nightclubs because a. we were all pretty, especially blended together, and nightclubs love pretty girls, b. one of my friends was a professional dancer [you've probably seen her in a music video or 2 and didn't even know it] and c. some of the bouncers were sons of friends of my father and so they let us in even when we forgot our fake IDs. They also made sure nothing bad ever happened to us, and in case my inlaws read this, just because a girl likes dancing doesn't mean she slept with a dozen guys or something. I was too young for that then, anyways.

My friends sometimes got too drunk to drive home, but no one ever got sick, or died or anything. We had fun. We took care of eachother, so no one ever did anything too stupid.

So when I converted to Islam I just didn't get it. The Qu'ran says there is some good in wine, but more evil. But obviously, the evil of it had never really effected me. I wasn't an alcoholic, and even if I was still drinking now, probably wouldn't be one.

I made a vow to change this habit anyways. I don't like people who pick and choose what parts of their holy books pertain to them.

I remember I rang up the intellectual set, when I made a serrious intention to start practicing Islam, and made a date for us all to meet up for one last hurrah cocktail in one of the fanciest cocktail lounges in our city.

I remember I got dressed in a turquoise pleated blue chiffon floorlength gown, with a matching turquoise sweater worn underneath, and a gold hijab over my hair. At the last minute, before ducking into the lounge, I felt a twinge of guilt, and took the scarf off, even though all my friends were already used to seeing me wear it.

My father had already told me I couldn't stay at the house anymore if I wanted to dress like a Muslim, and I was serrious about wearing the hijab enough to have known I didn't have choice to go back home, but I didn't want people to get confused and see a Muslim woman sipping a martini at the bar.

I remember I ordered a drink called "the titanic" that had a champagne icecube.

It was my last drink.

It wasn't very good.

I wish I had ordered a glass of good red wine, or a shot of tequila, or real champagne.

I remember that they tasted good to me. Yes, sometimes, I do miss the taste of red wine.

I also met my other friends at a new nightspot. To the confusion of the Christian Lebanese bouncer. Confused, because I didn't take off my scarf this time. I sat inside with my group of old friends and said what would be a real goodbye to some of them. I didn't drink. I didn't dance (though I wanted to, I enjoy dancing). I took a photo with them.

Funny, when I see that photo now, about the crowd that is surrounding that new Muslim girl, only one of them can I count as someone I still talk to.

I tried to keep in touch with them. I respected their lifestyle and didn't want to disown them because of mine. But we went different places, and they couldn't seem to have fun if it didn't involve drinking of some kind, even a lunch date.

I still didn't think drinking was bad.

And I was married. I married a Muslim man. I loved him. He loved me. We should have been the happiest people in the world.

But he drank.

He didn't drink in public. No one knew it but me.

No one saw the empty cans that filled our kitchen cupboards where I'd try to hide them when we had guests over. He wouldn't let me take them out. They were his sin, not mine.

Eventually they got to be too many, and I couldn't find space for them in the cupboards anymore, and they filled the living room/majlis.

He tried to take out one garbage bag of cans every night but he drank more than he was taking out.

I began to know he had a problem but he insisted he could stop if he wanted to. He didn't like to stay out too late anywhere though. He had to get home to drink.

He couldn't work properly either, and money became a problem.

In our home we had no marriage. He hated his sin, so he couldn't let me be around it. I shouldn't have wanted to be with him anyway in that state, but I was new to Islam and had no close family anymore, and no friends. He was the only person in my world.

And yet, I learned to live apart from him.

It was as if life my life outside the house were an act, and my home became a prison.

The cans and bottles littered the living room. I gave up on trying to hide them and deal with them, and just kept my bedroom a private space. I stopped cooking. There was no room for my food in that fridge among the beer cans. I started eating take out. Religiously.

I figured if he saw what a mess our life had become he'd change.

He just said we couldn't have guests over anymore.

And we didn't.

I don't know when I stopped loving him the same way. I always, ALWAYS, loved something, but the pain of being a ghost in my own life got to be too much.

He slept in the hallway because I was trying to be a practicing Muslim and he couldn't pray while he was drunk so he didn't want to be something unclean near me, someone who was trying to be clean. I don't think I would have cared.

Sometimes, I would sneak to sleep beside him when he had passed out because I missed the man I had loved who had disapeared and was too sick for me to help him.

I wanted to leave because of all the rights I had given up just to be with him when he was like this.

He knew he was hurting me and we fought over it. I kicked him, hit him, bit him. And he hated himself even more for what had happened to me, and so drank more.

I just couldn't understand why he couldn't stop, and he was a born muslim, and I grew up with alcohol my whole life, and I could.

He wasn't a violent drunk. Only once did he ever hurt me, and that was while he pretty out of it. I tried to be in the same room as him, and he didn't want me around while he was drinking, and so we fought, and he pulled me to my room by my hair.

I hurt him alot worse though. He has scars on his body from my nails.

Then there came the point when I couldn't leave. He was my husband still to everybody we knew, and he was sick. We weren't really together inside the home.

I just needed to know he would be alive in the morning.

I was scared he would die in his sleep or something.

Then one day, I did leave though. When I went, I didn't know I would be going. But once I was gone, breathing the air of... something.

I still wanted the life I had back home, but I couldn't deal with it anymore. I told one of my friends. Her mother drank too much, so I felt safe confinding my secret.

When I left, one Ramadan, he decided to change. He stopped drinking. He got healthy again, alhamdulilah.

Then he wanted me to go back to the life I had wanted with him before I had grown in my religion independently, and gone through so many horrible awful things, and learned to live a life seperate from him, even while I was living with him.

I was too scared to, at first, and then we realized...

We couldn't go back. We weren't the same people anymore.

If he reads this now, or anyone who ever knew him, don't hate him for being sick. I don't. I truly don't.

But I hate the alcohol.

And I am only writing the sins we had together so people will know how evil it is.

It took away years. It made me old.

It might have done worse to him, I don't know, but it wrecked me. I am still recovering.

I am the girl that misses the taste of red wine, but I know the evil now. It truly broke my heart and destroyed everything that I wanted once upon a lifetime. I am thankful we never had children and subjected them to that. The pain of what we went through still brings me to tears everytime I think about it.

So I am one of those people who never hurt themselves with alcohol. It had brought fun, laughter, education, friendship, and memories into my life.

But it took away a life I had lived even more so, destroying me almost utterly when I stopped for the first time away from it, to realize what I had lost, and who I had become, for better or worse.

Islam says there is some good in alcohol, but even more evil, so it is for the Muslims to refrain.

So please understand, all my non Muslim friends in Oman, that I still respect you and your choices, when I decline an invitation to have dinner with you if I know you are going to be drinking. There's an evil in it, a potential wretched, destructive evil, that even if all of us are personally safe from it, I cannot abide to accept its presence anywhere near myself and those I care about.

"Desperate in Dubai" banned in UAE

2012-02-03T09:02:00.000-08:00

The English novel "Desperate in Dubai" by Ameera Al Hakawati has been banned in UAE, which is a little hypocrital in a country where the "Princess" trilogy by Jean Sasoon is still being sold.

So no one can say the ban is because of the inferred sexuality of characters Lady Luxe and Leila. There's more graphic sexuality in the Jackie Collins on sale there, and equal levels of references to sexuality in the "Princess" books. I guess if we are talking about sex and hypocrisy of the sexes in Saudi Arabia, or sluts in America, it is still totally okay. But, no, no, no, no one can say a dirty thing about modern, friendly, tourist-accessible Dubai. Emirati men are nothing like Saudi men right? Every one would want to live in UAE, but Riyadh? Yecky yeck yuck.

I do, and I don't, know why the authorities banned it.

I don't understand what reason they could have given for banning it.

I do know why they would want to.

I lived in Abu Dhabi long enought to know, it wasn't the glossy photoshopped image of it I got before I got there. I personally, can't stand the Emirates. I'll admit, I've never lived in Al Ain or the smaller Emirates. There's also some pretty things there, especially in Dubai. I like the art scene. I like the fashion design element. Food, definately food. I think the architecture in Jumeirah is beautiful.

But the hypocrisy drove me nigh insane, and drove one of my bestfriends over the edge.

Should I get arrested because some man was stalking me and I defended myself without even hurting him? Should I apologise to him, when there were more witnesses to say he was in the wrong, just because he was a "local" and I was an "expat"? In UAE, it is the woman's fault. Unless of course the offended was a foriegner. And it is MOST definately the FOREIGN woman's fault.

Days after that, I saw a local Emirati man molesting a poor Pakistani woman right there on the street in broad daylight. She was modestly dressed. She was scared. And people (I'll forgive them, mainly Indian foriegners like myself) were just walking by.

I couldn't. It isn't in me.

I went up to him and confronted him. I had to wear abaya ras (the kind that sits on the head not the shoulders) in Abu Dhabi, and niqab, just to avoid Emirati men trying to flirt with me. I also waddled and pretended to be an Emirati Grandmother. Using the only scary Arabic word that I then knew, I yelled at him, "Ayb!!!!!" [Shame]. "Haraam" [sin], waving my purse wildly in the air. Thankfully, he didn't notice my pink Betsey Johnson bag wasn't exactly the type brandished by angry traditional ancient Emirati jiddas.

He took off. The pakistani girl was so grateful she took me to her brother's [or father?] abaya tailoring shop and they made me a free abaya. Which apparently IS STILL in style here in Muscat.

My first few days back in Oman an Omani guy (a police officer no less) tried to molest my friend. That should have made me hate Oman right? But what happened next didn't. We were foreigners in a bad situation. We had no witnesses. He was a local, AND he was a cop.

But the difference was, the Omani government treated us fairly. How much money we had, who we were, and where we came from, didn't make difference in terms of justice.

So while my favourite chefs, favourite abaya designers, favourite fashion houses, liked activities, et all, reside in the Emirates, my heart resides here.

Mrs. Al Hakawati's novel highlights the hypocrisy of Emirati culture. The character of Lady Luxe is loathed by all 'good' Emiratis, of course, but she is just the product of her upbringing. Her father, her brother.... Why should she be any different than they are?

So, you can still buy it at www.uread.com .

The "Burqa" as seen in Oman: the veil of the Bedu Woman

2012-02-01T07:20:00.000-08:00

If you are a Westerner, when you hear the word "burka/burqa" you likely envision the indigo blue Afghani mesh full body blanket enforced by the Taliban, or the black fabric face veil associated with Saudi women. Bur8aa/burqa/burka [and sometimes called Batula] is none of those things. Burqa is a mask of varying design, usually denoting a beduoin heritage. Usually black, or traditionally stained blue with indigo, or appearing golden, it is light, breathable, and protects the face from dust and sun. It also mimics the features of a falcon. In Oman, it is predominantly worn by Beduoin women, but there are also traditional Baluchi, Dhofari, and Muscat Burqaa, though they are rarely worn these days so I couldn't find any pictures of them for you to see. In our Northern region of Buraimi, and the Musandam pennisula, thin, flat gold coloured Burqa as pictured above are traditional to those of Beduoin families (even if they're completely modern these days). They look entirely the same as the Emirati styles. Traditionally they were donned when a girl hit puberty, and she wore the thinner style [thin at the lip] until marriage when she started to wear a slightly thicker design.In the Ashaqiyah region of Oman in the Wahiba Sands, (also, in Sinaw) a much thicker version of the gold Burqa is worn, and it has a ridged beak in the middle, and is not flat like the Northern style. It is also traditionally tied at the back with a very long tasselled string.In al Wusta and Al Dhahirah a thick black ridged burqa is worn, and is usually donned after marriage, to denote the status of the woman as a wife.Nowadays though, as Oman comes together in Muscat, and many traditions are exchanged, the burqa is becomming an object of fashion and isn't just reserved for Beduoin girls on their wedding nights. For example, my interior Omani inlaws sometimes wear Dhofari or Baluchi dress for weddings, and alot of Omani girls have started to wear these fashion burqaa for their melka/engagement ceremony, such as the Zanzibari Muscat bride pictured above. (I wore a Burqa for my own wedding, designed by Aseel).For crystalized Burqa like the ones pictured above, booths at the Seeb Exhibition center carry them, as well as the costume jewelry store in Al Bahja mall.
For embellished fabric ones, Al Aseel in Qu'rum's little mall across from the Nando's and McDonald's upstairs from the kids rides (I forget its new name) sells and rents them.If you want an imitation of the traditional burqa styles, in Mutrah souq you take the first right turn as you enter the souq and you will find the above display hanging from a shop on the left side a few minutes in. To get the real ones you can purchase them from Beduoin women at the Mutrah festival on now, or from the Omani Handicrafts shop across from the Saabco mall in Al Qurum.

Confessions of a Co-Wife

2012-02-01T06:08:00.000-08:00

"The best of you [the Muslim men] are those of you who are best to your wives." –The Prophet Mohammed (peace and blessings be upon him).

Okay, first off, before I go on with this post, I will remind my readers, this blog is contributed to by 3 different women regularly. Our editor often blends events if needed to protect identities. So I am putting myself out there writing this. Because this is me. Only me.

A lot of female bloggers in Oman have been writing about the issue of polygamy [polygyny is the correct term for a man marrying more than one wife but a wife having only that one husband] in Oman recently.

Susan Al Shahri, OPNO, Dhofari Gucci, Mimi, and Shawawi Oman. Susan and Mimi are children of a polygynous marriage. Dhofari Gucci, OPNO, and Shawawi Oman are all women mixed up entirely in Omani society who know polygynous families.

I am writing this because I am a 20 something wife who also has a 20 something co-wife. And since no woman who is actually a wife in this situation has written a post on the subject, I figured I had to.

I won't say who is first wife and who is second because my co-wife and I both HATE the negative stereotypes shoved upon us by Arab society. This post shouldn't be colored by YOUR stereotypes, dear readers.

People have the nerve to accuse the first wife of not taking care of her husband enough. She is not beautiful enough maybe, or maybe her personality is dull. Or maybe she is fat or he got bored and she didn't watch out for that.

In our case, what the freakin' hell?!

They also think the second wife is all about sex. She got her man because of her beauty and there's nothing else worthy in her. She is a husband stealing woman, and thus okay with cheating, and backstabbing, and no one would want to be her friend. You can't trust her.

Do you know how people thinking like this hurt's a woman's self image? You people who think that way?: SUCK.

Or maybe she was more religious than her co-wife to be okay with being a co-wife in the first place?: But if she thinks she's better than the first wife in anyway, or would totally freak and get upset if her husband took a third, she definitely ISN'T.

And to the men. How they view the husband: it must totally all be about sex.

I LOL at that x100. Yeah, because when my co-wife and I are upset, it is always about sex. Sarcasm people. That is never where our troubles come from.

I know a lot of other wives in our same situation, but really none of the above applies to us. I know there are wives with crappy husbands. I feel sorry for them. But don't judge an entire institution on the prevalent stereotype.

Here is a quick rundown on our situation:

First wife was told by husband over a year before marriage to the #2 that he was looking for a second wife. More than six months before his marriage to #2, he introduced #2 to #1 and informed #1 of his intention to marry potential #2.

#1 & #2 really liked each other as people. If the idea wasn't sharing the same man, we'd likely be bestfriends. Sharing a husband makes that friendship a bit awkward in places. Which isn't to say we aren't friends, but only, not as close of friends as we would be if we weren't wives of the same man.

#2, knowing how hard things would be on wife #1, chose to give up her right to a big public wedding like #1 had, or a honeymoon period. Since husband had done this with wife #1, wife #2 deserved the same. #2 forwent this right because adjusting to sharing time and days and nights is something wife #1 has to get used to, more than wife #2. So things started with equal days for both. I won't lie. The first four months were hard for both of us. It got easier with time, especially when our communication worked better.

Wife #1 was religious enough to never reject a greeting from wife #2, or to refuse a visit. And wife #2 knew she didn't have anything above #1 and didn't try to influence her new husband to her favor over the rights of wife #1.

Thus, we are both able to communicate our concerns and solve problems together. Really, if our husband screws up on anything with one of us, and it is truly his fault, both of us get angry at him together. If one of us gets mad at him, and he isn't at fault, our co-wife gently advises us of this. Having someone who truly understands your marital problems AND YOUR husband's personality, is a benefit, if both wives are willing to help each other.

We both have our own houses. We would like to live in the same neighborhood as eachother but sharing the same house would be too hard on our husband. And a woman in Islam has the right to her own house. Though generally during the Eids we spend time in one of our homes together.

The harem scenario non-muslims picture never happens because we split our days up. When I see a photo of two muslim women and a man tagged "his two wives" it annoys me because we don't really go out together like that. Not because we don't like eachother but that we like to spend time with our husband on our days. It is more likely for us to go out together without him. Only on the Eids or for visits do we come together like that, because it is a special time about family, and not about romance, ect. Our kids love to play together and we love eachother's children.

About sex {and my husband reads this blog, so understand, Dear, why I am writing this}. Shawawi Oman asked that if the husband had sex with 1 wife so many times that he has to with his other wife.

My answer: technically, in Islam, the husband isn't supposed to share bedroom details about one wife with another unless there is some medical reason. But what he has to do, of course as his health permits, is satisfy the sexual needs of all of his wives equally. His own needs may be kept private. So, to be honest, I find this beneficial. There are times when a wife might not want sex, but it is also for her to satisfy her husband's needs you know? It goes both ways. My co-wife and I can always share this while another wife who is the only wife might have to act all sexy when she isn't really in the mood. Husband still might have to, but really, he makes sure all our needs are fine, and there are no complaints on the wives' side.

Do I not get jealous over my husband having sex with another woman?

Nope. Our husband gives us equal time, and is enough for us romance-wise. I would be jealous if this were not so though. If we ever feel insecure about this, my cowife and I talk to eachother and talk to our husband to resolve any misunderstandings fairly.

Do I get jealous?

Yes, of course. But I was in a marriage before the marriage I am currently in, where I was the first and only wife. My ex-husband was totally dedicated to be faithful only to me romance wise. A lot of Arab women were even jealous of this, his public declaration of me being the only woman for him and that he would never ever take a second wife.

There were still things I got jealous of. His work. His friends. His hobbies. Any time these things overrode my personal needs, and my needs always became second, it didn't matter if I was an only wife or not. I was just not important enough.

In a plural marriage as I am now in, it falls to my husband to make sure my needs, and co-wife's are taken care of. Really, he puts us before himself all the time, in his time, in his money. He doesn't have much time for himself, and he doesn't have much money left for himself. He makes sure we get to see the things we want to see, do the things we want to do. And makes each of us feel special and unique while he does so.

I get jealous when he buys a new phone and spends a lot of time with it when I want his attention. I get jealous if he hangs out with his friends on my days, and wouldn't be doing the same on my co-wife's days. Things like that. If I tell him my feelings, he usually works it out so it is fair. I still hate bloody new phones though. Even if I know he is ignoring my co-wife an equal amount over that same stupid phone;)

I know for a fact I have more time with my husband than a lot of women whose husband's have only one wife. And I am important to him. And my co-wife, she knows her value too. I don't think I'd be satisifed with my marriage though, if my husband had a job that left him little time for us even if he equated that time fairly. We both get insecure over time.

If there happens to be a conflict of interest between my co-wife and I, we either make a compromise between ourselves like, you get to travel this vacation, and I will get to next ect, and our husband does the same, balancing those things we want and need that coincide in a way that can't be divided.

Next question. How can you feel like you are special when your husband has another wife who is special to him too?

Well, for us, my co-wife and I are very different women. He loves different things in us equally. It was important that he not just marry a younger version of wife #1. Both of us have only the slightest age difference and our husband is near to us in age, not ludicrously older. Physically my co-wife and I are entirely different personas, so we aren't comparable. Personality-wise as well. And my co-wife and I agree, to have certain places that our special just to our husband and us that the other wife won't go to with husband, so long as they are equal with the special places/things of the other wife. So we have equal, but different things. To feel special. It works.

Alot of women have this idea of an all absorbing one-and-only love. I don't believe in this. I believe in a love that is earned and deserved that grows with every day rather than just taking over in an instant and having nowhere to go from there. I don't believe there is only one person out there for everyone, but I believe my co-wife and I have both found a man who is right for us.

Why should a man need two wives?

I can't speak for others. Just my own case:

Because he can and because he loves us. And he saw something worthy in us that was worth dedicating most of the efforts of his life to. And because we both needed him. Love and respect can't be changed just because one wishes both things might go away if it would make life easier or more convenient.

And waiting for someone like him who wouldn't be finding me or her or someone like me or someone like her?

I suppose we could have waited. Waited for that kind of fairytale love, but then we'd be missing out on the love and happiness we have right now. And honestly, I wouldn't want any other woman to miss out on that kind of love and happiness.

So if my husband felt like he wanted to, and he could afford to, and did so Islamically, if he ever wanted to marry a third, my co-wife and I could both support the idea. And in our situation, #2 isn't a hypocrite. I don't think he wants to though, because making a marriage work with just two people in it is alot of work. With 3 there alot of needs and wants to consider. He's tired with us. With another, unless he retires, it might be too much for him. Of course, there are more people to help out when the going gets rough too, provided both husband and wives want their marriage to work under the Shariah conditions for it, and have the Islamic manners Muslims are supposed to have for eachother.

Honestly, in this day and age, I can't imagine a man managing four wives well. 3 I can fathom. 4 I really cannot. He'd have to be Superman, that's for sure.

With 4 wives, all the women would be spending more than a weekend's length of time apart. Me, personally, I couldn't handle that when I am honest with myself.

But with just me and my cowife I can like the time apart for the following reasons:

The weekend length of time we spend now is good for a few things.

It makes you miss eachother so no one ever gets bored but not so long that you forget eachother.

As a woman, you have some days off from being super-wife. You can eat snack food all day and sit in your pajamas and let the house go or go shopping with your girlfriends and not care about what time you get home and get complete control of the tv remote.

Yet you still get to call someone who loves you and tell them about your day and know if you get sick that they'll rush to come take care of you.

And on the days that are yours he thinks you are this incredible woman who has time to help him make an incredible dinner, and dress nice, and give him your undivided attention.

I personally like someone thinking that about me. That I am this smart, sweet, sexy, organized woman. Which I am, of course, only liking to be.

I also like that my co-wife is like my sister. I get to tell her things, and ask her things, and she can reassure me when I am insecure. I don't have any other Muslim family so she is that for me, no matter what we go through.

It doesn't matter if you are a strong working woman or not who doesn't need a man to provide for her. You still desire in your heart someone you can provide a home for, who loves you, and needs you, and makes you feel special.

There aren't alot of men who can handle our situation [though there are alot who naively think they can]. And there are some women out there who aren't meant for it either. I get so angry at all those men in Oman who do it all so selfishly and unjustly so that my co-wife and I get all those women out there feeling misplaced pity for us, or anger at our situation. Or who automatically equate our husband with a group of losers.

That's my 2 cents. The confession of a co-wife who adores her co-wife and is deeply in love with the husband we share. A husband who deeply believes that no man can be a good muslim if he is married to a decent woman and yet he leaves her unhappy.

Never marry a man who doesn't understand that, even if you'll only ever be his "one and only".

My Own Photos: Sama Al Wasil Desert Camp in Al Sharqiya

2012-01-29T11:27:00.000-08:00

Sama Al Wasil desert camp is located just 15 kilometers inland from Al Wasil village in Bediya on the main road from Muscat to Sur. It does require a four wheel drive to get there, but if you don't have one or aren't confident driving on sand you can arrange to have the camp pick you up when you make your reservation [968 25 586 036 or resv@samavillages.com]. We had the camp pick us up and along the way we saw this beduoin family and some camels (but my photos of the camels sucked so I will not bore you with them).The camp has three basic kinds of accomodation (tents, which I didn't see the inside of), and one and two bedroom houses, each of which has a nice clean western style bathroom and a sitting area outside. In case you aren't a traditional sleep on the ground kind of camper which some of the women in my family certainly are not, there are beds, and electricity and heaters (the desert gets cold at night). The camp is run on a generator and the power is from 6:00 pm-10:30 pm. Depending on the size and type of accomodation you get, prices range from 25-60 Omani rial (prices include meals).In the center of the camp there is the social area which is very large to accomodate mixing and/or privacy, and serves Omani coffee, nescafe, Indian kerak, red tea, juice, sodas, and water 24 hours a day, as well as some fresh fruit. It is really beautiful at night, sitting under the light of the multi-coloured lanterns. There is also a play area for children, which our family really enjoyed. The adults of course, preferred to enjoy the flawless veiw of the night sky, and for the more sporty, there is a football/soccer pitch, and a volleyball net. ATVs [all-terrain vehicles] can be rented at the cost of 10 rials, and camel rides, both of which can be arranged when making your booking with the company. Everyone in our family enjoyed using the ATVs around the red sand dunes.There is also a large tented area for the meal service. A buffet, serving different grilled meats, and salad options, as well as some fresh juices, and soft drinks. I found it well worth the climb, early in the morning, to scale the dunes to watch the sunrise. The tracks of all the desert creatures, lizards, birds, mice, are clear, and the shifting shades of colour on the dunes is why one goes out into the desert in the first place. The serene peace of it all, the clearest night skies one may know, and the clean horizons of undulating red sand. I heart Al Sharqiya. The tent accomodation at Sama Al Wasil:The house accomodation. Our family booked the entire camp for privacy and they catered really well for our large party.A goodbye breakfast for those who don't enjoy breakfast; qhawa and fresh fruit:Goodbye Sama Al Wasil. Until next winter.

My Own Photos: Bait Al Sarooj in Sumail part I

2012-01-26T04:15:00.000-08:00

This will be part I of II on Sumail because unfortunately MOP deleted most of my photographs before I could transfer them to my laptop:(. This post came about because MOP and I were seeking Sumail castle and someone from Sumail thoughtfully offered to guide us there (about a half an hour out of his time) when we asked where it was. This was the second time we were guided, not to Sumail Castle, but to Bait Al Sarooj. We thought, what the heck, the last time we had been through this way and toured Bait Al Sarooj, we had been through sans camera, and we had spied Sumail castle on our journey to Bait Al Sarooj, so we'd hit that up next time and take some pictures of this fortified 16th century Sheikh's home instead for my blog since we were there anyway.

Sumail, just 100 km out of Muscat, is situated over a large area compared to other townships/willayat in Oman, but you can easily find Bait Al Sarooj by seeking it by name or the village of Al Khobar in the foothills of the Al Hajar mountain range. Villagers here are super friendly, and people always offer to guide us straight to Bait Al Sarooj [even if you are asking for Sumail Castle ;p].Built in 1694, Bait Al Sarooj was restored in 1900 by the Ministry of Heritage and Culture and renamed after its primary building material: sarooj. It was the personal residence of a Sheikh (I forget his name) and fortified in his lifetime. It is supposed to be open 8 a.m to 4 p.m. 7 days a week exlcuding holidays, but in my personal experience, around 12-1 it occasionally closes for a half an hour or so on occasion, but should this happen to you, you could easily drive back to see Sumail Castle and then come back to Bait Al Sarooj. Despite the operating hours descrepancy, the gate keeper is surprisingly well-informed (in Arabic) about Bait Al Sarooj, unlike many other such tourism gatekeepers I have encountered in my quest to see all Oman has to offer in the way of traditional architecture. The carving on the front door was exceedingly lovely, one of my favourites in Oman so far. It was also a traditional door, without hinges, set into the grooves of the door frame. Exquisite.That is the side of the gate-keeper's white dishdasha poking through the side of the doorway. It was 1 p.m. when we arrived and he was just reopening.The architecture of Bait Al Sarooj differs by way of its layout from many other historical sites in Oman. It is more sporadic and less thought out, none of the stairs being of equal length or height {be careful with that}, 3 different stairways leading from one particular passage. One passage was so narrow I could barely fit with my purse on my shoulder {I am a pretty petite personage} and I almost got stuck. It didn't lead to anywhere impressive but there was a well {again, be careful with young children here} {photo to be added in part II inshallah}.The space pictured above was particularily lovely, as was the stairway to the rooftop {not pictured}. Like many other historical architectural gems in Oman, Bait Al Sarooj has majlis sitting rooms with woven palm and wood beam ceilings, and like all 16th-17th century fortified structures, murder holes for pouring boiled date honey on invaders, and spaces for a storm of arrows to strike at marrauders below attempting to raid the home of _____ Sheikh. But Bait Al Sarooj is unfurnished, and does not have any antique or replica artifacts warming up and depicting what would have been daily life here. Bait Al Sarooj is just the bare sarooj and naked architecture of its time period. This open courtyard acted like an early AC system, funneling cooler air into the fortified manor house. As you can see, it was a particularily lovely day, blue skies with light fluffy clouds, denoting that it was niether too hot nor too cold.

{end part I}

My Own Photos: Girls Camping Trip

2012-01-26T02:16:00.000-08:00

Despite my love of spending night and day outdoors, I am actually, quite a horrible camper. Not because I am one of those girls who can't sleep on the floor, and screams at the sight of bugs or chipped nail polish or anything, but because I am not a good planner when it comes to camping. I overplan in everything else in life but when the weekend comes and I get a chance to runaway to Asharqiyah, I just get so excited that I miss things. My friends don't help that much either, they're just as bad or even worse than me. Thankfully, out of all the trips I've been on, I had one friend who brought her mobile, and it had a camera, so here is what is probably the amalgomation of a gazillion memories from multiple trips into one trip because my memory just doesn't hold up without photos to jog it.We often went to the same spot, just before this wadi. On this particular trip photographed we managed to remember to pack our tents, and we never forget the food, but firewood was an issue.My friend spent over thousand hours {I exxagerate} hacking away at this tree, while I discovered a gully packed with dry and already fallen wood which I packed back to our chosen site on a cliff overlooking the sea with two beaches shaded from the road. I almost managed to get some wild donkeys to carry it for me, but Omani friends were like, they're Jinn, they're Jinn! that I was discouraged, and well, the donkeys that let me ride them, ran away when I tried to put a load of wrapped sticks on their backs, go figure. I have a talent with certain types of animals, birds not being among them, which is a more likely scenario than our campsite being overrun with Jinn donkeys.That is me, triumphant with my fire wood. Alas, maybe it wasn't on this trip but on another but we left too late and it got dark too fast, and we couldn't see to put up our tent so we slept under the stars while the surf crashed below us. Or maybe that was the time we camped at Sawadi and forgot the tent altogether???The darkness, and the gazillion billion stars above us impressed too, but didn't photograph well.This is me the next morning, pretending to put up the tent. It had been put up already, and not by me. That morning, early, I had gone for a swim in the sheilded cove pictured below. I like this spot because if you are the only campers, no one can see you from the road.Our picnic spread, supplied by a mad rush to the Ghubra Lulu:It was consequently so yum yum yummy {food is the best part of camping} that we had 1 uninvited guest.This is him {or her?}:Yes, we could not photograph the little critter well. Cellphones just don't come with the same lense as a Nikon, alas.And this was the other pretty little beach, with all the firewood you could ever need. {We never used the branch that had to be axed by the hour, and so, in a fit of revenge it was doused with jet fuel {don't ask} and set ablaze {not by me} and left to burn in a fume-ey mess as we drove away by our Omani friends}. At least we attempted to take all our garbage with us.

Designer Abayas: DAS is seeing blue

2012-01-19T00:47:00.000-08:00

Some images of DAS designs. As I haven't visited the showroom, I don't know if there's anything new to this label this season but blue seems to be in.

OPNO needs a job

2012-01-18T11:28:00.001-08:00

OPNO needs a job. This may sound a little desperate but if you are looking to hire I am someone sitting here with fairly decent English and correspondance skills, I can obviously turn on a computer and oh so much more than that. If you hire me, I promise, I will use spell check. Being a stay-at-home housewife really doesn't suit me so if you are looking to hire someone let me know about your job requirements. And of course benefits. I may be the person you are looking for.

Since I actually DID get the perfect job offer once through this blog, but missed out on it due to the fact that I was having a baby at the time, who knows what this post will bring about right;)?

Networking through a blog. Can't decide what kind of impression that gives.

what I would have said if my Arabic were as good as Pink Birken's- a short story

2012-01-18T09:52:00.000-08:00

Three women were walking through Mutrah souq the other night, two of them new to the sensations and sights of Oman on a full moon. The corniche was bustling, and the girls made their way quickly through the twists and turns of the souq, one of the girl's memories serving as a guide.

In a Al Motahajiba black face veil, the simple sheeath of a nameless black Islamiyia abaya of Saudi crepe, and baby pink Hermes Birken bag cradled neatly on her arm, it had been a while since she had gone this way, but her friends had requested a face veil more tricky to find in the souq than her own. Pink Birken Girl knew just the shop though.

The other two were bumbling on the uneven walkways of the souq and their own eyes were tripped and tossed between all the treasures of Ali Baba's cave and then some, trying to avoid the freshly hewn spit of a few Pakistani men.

With their beautiful exotic kohl-rimmed eyes, and and their Motahajabah gashwa veils flipped back from their faces and pinned to fall along with their crystal-encrusted shaylas like waterfalls down their backs, the other two were obviously foreign to Oman. Omani girls from Buraimi sometimes wore the like, but never flipped back to reveal their makeup.

The tallest girl stood out the most, partially from her height. She was taller than the Omani women for the most part, and her giant gamboo3a hairclip piled just past the crown of her head emphasized that to the point of caricature. Next, for her whiteness, drawn even more apparent by the blush pink of her lipstick and the streak of her rouge, and the shock of her styled brown fringe arranged to show neatly outside her headscarf. Actually, it was probably the hair.

Good girls in Oman just didn't do that, and the ones who did were either uneducated or from a less religious Baluchi family, Pink Birken Girl had been told, disgusted as always for the stereotypes. Only Dhofari girls did that, or the African Omani girls. Other Omani girls who did were looking for trouble. Everyone knew that, she'd been warned.

But it might have been the loud laughter as the three friends were reunited after such a long time, paired with the black abaya synonmous with the image of the Gulf Arab/"Muslim".

Both girls wore plain black abayas stylishly cut, but the taller one's abaya was a shock more modern and ala mode, and made of Jersey. And the other friend with her playful leopard print handbag, was dark. African Omani girls were always allowed to get away with more, whether it was makeup, colourful clothes, or Gamboo3a hair clip, Pink Birken knew.

So when Pink Birken saw the disapproving glances of Omani women aimed at the teetering and bobbing image of her taller friend's Gamboo3a, and yet not at her darker friend for the same, the hypocrisy started to get to her. That, and all the Indian and Pakistani shop men trying to shove Bukhoor and perfume into her face.

Finally, they rounded the corner, the shop door chimed, and they were safe from the street and all the disapproving and sour faces.

Five different styles of Salalah niqabs hung from the wall, and the girls touched each one, gauging if the fabric of the veils were too thick or not to breathe in. Finally, a simple Salalah style was selected by each of Pink Birken's guests, the kind with a stiff headband and a short face veil, same length sideways as one would find on an elastic niqab, affixed to the headband by three strings to make a bigger space for the eyes. One attached in the middle from the nose, and 2 at the sides.

Pink Birken's tallest friend had complained on how the more convential Gulf style slip niqab chafed her eyes. Since she had to wear contacts, this wouldn't do. Thus the trip to the souq in the first place.

The Salalah niqab style with the strings satisified her need and after bargaining a fair price, the guests of Pink Birken left the store, proud owners each of 1 Salalah style niqab.

Outside the store, the girls were seeking a place where the two could slip on the new niqabs, as they had to take off their gashwa veils in order to do that, and weren't comfortable showing that much hair in order to do so when a group of juvenile Omani males walked by.

Disrespectfully, Pink Birken knew, because they walked too close.

One in a Burgundy-embroidered Omani cap turned around and sneered at the tallest girl and spat out the word "siflah".

Bitch.

In Arabic.

Pink Birken's mind reeled. These were tourists to Oman. These were people she'd told good things about Omani people to. About Omani friendliness, about how honor was valued, and kindness, and...

Pink Birken stopped in her tracks.

She was taken back to her student days back in Canada, when she'd first met these friends. She remembered when people had called her names for wearing her face veil, and told her to go back to Saudi Arabia, and a tall and somewhat awkward but tough girl had jumped in to defend her.

'Why don't you go back to your country?' the tall girl wearing a black abaya had challenged Pink Birken's harrassers. 'Go on now, get back into your boats, and row yourselves back to England, because this is MY country,' she had snarled at them, protecting Pink Birken.

'Your country?!' the teenage boy had laughed. They are ALWAYS cowardly boys who start to harass women walking peacefully by themselves. 'Canada doesn't belong to the Arabs.'

'I'm Native you tool,' Tall Girl said, taking Pink Birken's arm and helping her walk on. 'And your people stole my country. Like I said. Get back on your boat and row, before you try and tell anyone to go anywhere. Idiot.'

That was how they'd become friends. Pink Birken wouldn't take it, any man disrespecting an honest Muslim woman out just trying to live her life.

They didn't know her friend. They didn't know anything about them.

"Excuse me?" Pink Birken said rotating on her heel and going up to Burgundy Kuma. "Excuse me? What did you say about my friend?"

Her friends didn't speak Arabic. They didn't know what was going on.

Tonight, it didn't matter.

He kind of quivered back into himself and edged towards the outskirts of the souq at being confronted by a woman.

"Nothing," he mutttered, backing into his friends. They all thought it was funny.

"That's right it's nothing," Pink Birken spat at them. "Because you don't know anything about her. You don't know who she is, and what you've done."

In Oman, calling someone a bitch is punishable by law. The guys wanted to get away in case the girls wanted to press charges. Most girls walking by themselves in Oman would ahve shaken the incident off if there wasn't a male family member nearby to deal with it for them.

But these girls were closer to Pink Birken than any living family she had because they'd been Muslim with her in a place where there hadn't been any Muslims.

Pink Birken wanted them to know that.

"This girl gave up her family to be Muslim you know? Would you have done that?!" She restricted herself from yelling at Burgundy Kuma but intoned passionately. "She gives shelter to the poor and those in need, the clothes off her own back if you have nothing? Do you do that?"

Burgundy Kuma wants to get away but his friends are listening.

"She fights for the weak and oppressed, and wears an abaya even in a non-Muslim country where people yelled at her and called her names. I bet you aren't even brave enough to wear dishdasha out of the country, and you see that she isn't quite strong enough yet or ready in her understanding to put that scarf on her head the right way, and yet she prays five times a day never miss, and fasts every Ramadaan, and do you do that?!"

Tears are in Pink Birken's eyes for every injustice that stems from ignorance such as his.

"You call her a 'bitch' because there's something dirty in yourself to be looking for something dirty in her, and I promised her this was a safe Muslim country, and that Omanis are good and honourable people, and you call HER a bitch. I promise you, I am more a bitch than she ever was, but how people dress guarantees you nothing but the image of piety.

I guess you already knew I was a bitch because I was walking with her, because how can a good person be with someone less than perfect small-minded village minds keep telling me. How could you be friends with a theif who steals, people liken some hair out of the scarf to me, like, a wrong is a wrong if you tell your friend it is a wrong and they don't fix it, but who am I to judge her faults, when I know her strengths? Who am I to say, leaving your hair out of her hijab and wearing a Gamboo3a is sinful to the person who protected me, who has always prayed more than me, who fasted Ramadaan more faithfully than me?! Who am I?

And I am her friend." Pink Birken looked to Burgundy Kuma with seeking eyes. "So tell me. Who are you?"

Burgundy Kuma didn't know what to say. He was ashamed. He looked to the Tall One, and mumbled in Arabic that he was sorry.

"Nevermind," Pink Birken brushed passed him and his apology. "She doesn't understand you. She can only read the sounds in Arabic. She learnt THAT to read the Qu'ran. Imagine, for a minute, if you'd still read the Qu'ran if you couldn't speak Arabic." And with that, she left, and returned to her friends.

"What was that all about," her tall friend said, still wanting to get to a shop to put on the new niqab. "Why'd he say he was sorry?" She understood a few words in Arabic.

"Because he insulted you," Pink Birken said. "I am sorry. I am so ashamed for what is happening to my country."

"Stop saying sorry," the tall one winked, "and show me a place where I can get this on and then take me to a place where they serve some food, because I'm starving."

{THE END}

Arabesque Abayas Launches Its "Lace" collection

2012-01-18T09:10:00.000-08:00

I guess Judith launched her "lace" collection for Arabesque abayas aways back and I seemed to have forgotten about it.

Everyone knows french lace is what Arabesque abayas are all about, and the lace in the collection is probably lovely.

I just saw the collection and was disapointed a bit though, in the lack of creativity in the cut of the abayas. I know Arabesque is one of those labels that aims at "classic" which is why I love it, but I don't know. I was a little disapointed, beyond the beautiful burqa pictured above, and the first no. design on the website for the lace collection. The rest just... I don't know.

Which is a first for me and Arabesque. Usually something just stands out at me and says "you could be wearing me" and this time, there was just.... silence.

Susan Al Shahri's post on polygyny

2012-01-18T07:04:00.000-08:00

In Susan's recent post on polygyny http://susanalshahri.blogspot.com/2012/01/my-take-on-polygamy.html as experienced in Dhofar and documented in Oman, she noted that she had heard of very few cases where men had taken on more wives for an Islamic reason. I totally agree with this. But I am not totally against it, as she wrote that she is.

I am personally very against polygyny (the practice of having more than one wife) except in Islamic cases.

OPNO girls in total support Islamic polygyny when the following is done:

The consequent wife/wives are a "Shariah law defined orphan". This is, a woman without any surviving Muslim male "maharam" family members capable of financially supporting her. This can fall to widows, divorcees, and those who've suffered the tragic loss of all living relatives. The Qu'ran states that the purpose of the condition of being allowed to marry more than one IS TO SUPPORT THIS GROUP OF WOMEN. Not for any other reason.

Next, the husband must treat all his wives and their existing and possible children FAIRLY financially, physically, and with all he says. That means they are given equal time out of his day, equal nights, equal provision, and he can't say anything emotionally to one and not to another. This is very hard for a man. Almost impossible. It can be done, but most men can't.

If there is a saving required for housing, the first wife gets to save first, then after that, the second, after that, the third, if they should so agree.

*Any of the wives can choose to give up their rights in things should they wish to, such as for sex, or a day, or for something like money that the other wives have, but unless they wish to, Islamically, their husband has to give them same as the other women in his life*

Also, to meet the conditions of fairness, there can be no negotiating for a second or third ect wife in secret, or marriage in secret. How can a man afford equal time to his first wife if he's with his second wife and she thinks he's spending the night with his buddies? Also, announcement of the marriage is a shariah requirement to make it legal. If he is talking to another woman without the first wife knowing, even about marriage, it is cheating if she doesn't know. Not allowed.

Also, the first wife needs to know, because if she doesn't agree, she DOES have the Islamic right to divorce and what she negotiated for in terms of her marriage agreement and her children as agreed upon before she married. If her husband takes on an additional wife he may not have the financial ability to meet her divorce terms if she specified them in her nikah/melka contract.

*In Shariah law, a woman cannot specify that her husband not take a second or other wives but she can ask for divorce and compensation on the event that he does, before marriage to any man*

Contrary to popular belief, a man is not given permission to remarry just ANYONE he fancies by the Qu'ran even IF his wife is sick or cannot have children.

The example given by the Prophet Mohammed would tell you this. He had only ONE wife who was a previously unmarried virgin who he got engaged to before he married any other and she herself could not give him any living children. He did not marry another woman except those who were what shariah-law considers orphans (widows, divorcees) and that his wife could not conceive any children was not an excuse for lifting the Islamic burden of marrying a Shariah orphan on the permission of marrying additional women.

Although the first wife MAY give her husband permission to marry as he chooses instead of the Islamic burden of marrying a Shariah orphan when she can't have children these days, there is no Islamic pretext and example that this may even be permissiable from all I have personally studied.

For the wife who is sick and the husband wishes to remarry while she is sick? Even if she is comatose he STILL has to spend equal time with her as his next wife.

MOP's father remarried while his first wife was sick. She didn't even know he was there, but he still dedicated 50% of his time with her, caring for her, and just being there.

In Islam you aren't allowed to date, and divorcing a sick woman is a little cruel, so anyone who would look down on the man for what he did, needing a wife to love and have companionship but unwilling to leave the wife who'd stood by him for years, I can't understand.

There are more rules even than this, but knowing this, if you know of Omanis in a polygynous marriage, and they are unhappy, odds are they didn't meet any of the above requirements for their marriage so in alot of Islamic opinions, the husband didn't even care to make his marriages Islamically valid.

I stand to support Islamic multiple marriages even though I know the majority abuse the institution, as I do know some cases they are warranted, and some happy women (albeit with husband's who have no personal time whatsoever).

Books We Buy in Oman Reviewed: The Traditional Women's Dress of Oman

2012-01-18T06:11:00.000-08:00

"The Traditional Women's Dress of Oman" by Julia M. Stehlin-Al Zadjali isn't a novel but it is an amazing coffee table book.

Who will like it? Anyone fascinated with historical traditional dresses and national costumes, fashion by way of the construction of ethnic garments, or Omani culture. Which was, of course, me.

There are alot of detailed pictures for each region of Oman women's dress, as well as descriptions easy to understand, and the book is very organized.

Well worth its price if you want to know where women are from via observing their dress this upcoming Muscat festival;)

Books We Buy in Oman Reviewed: The Road to Ubar

2012-01-18T05:17:00.000-08:00

"The Road to Ubar" by documentary film-maker and amataeur archeologist Nicholas Clapp was the first book I ever read featuring the Sultanate of Oman as its setting/subject matter.

I believe I read it when I was fourteen? It was gifted to me by the smartest boy in my school when he found out my family had home in Oman and I'd be going there for the Christmas holiday.

For those who love tales of buried treasure and lost civilizations, this archeological drama is for you, a thoroughly modern adventure including marauding Beduoin and the whole she-bang. And it is 100% true. Even better.

Ubar was a fabled city of the ancient world, featuring in tales of "1001 Nights". It is also the city of the people of 'Ad from the Holy Qu'ran, whose wealth and great pillared city led them to scoff at God Himself, thus resulting in a curse of their civilization being burried under the desert sands.

While what Clapp and adventurer Ranulph Fiennes did find buried in the sands of Shisr at the edge of the Rub al Khali desert just an overnight journey out of Salalah these days may not be the city belonging to the people of 'Ad, but it was a many-pillared city made rich off of the frankicense routes that litterally sunk into the sands. The book documents the discovery, and other attempts made by legendary adventurers at finding it.

Clapps' travel-adventure spans 12 years of investigation easily, from scouring through ancient texts and maps in famous old libraries, to using sattelite images from NASA, to a caravan with Beduoin guides to the edges of the Rub al Khali desert during Oman's insurgent communist days.

I think I found it slow at fourteen, but would consider it well written now.

10 chapters long, with an appendix almost as big as the main text, I find it well worth the read for any historical buff, or the lover of a true-life adventure story.

Did I like it? Yes. I am a huge fan of anything to do with ancient history.

Did I love it? Not at fourteen, but I think it is well and enough time for a little re-read.

My Favourite "Thinking" Islamic Blog

2012-01-11T18:22:00.000-08:00

This probably won't interest alot of my readers, but I can see the Linoleum Surfer reading it, but my favourite "thinking" Islamic blog is http://theidealmuslimah.blogspot.com/

New Technology Craze Sweeping Omanis: what's up

2012-01-11T04:58:00.001-08:00

As we know well, Omantel's prices are scary for the services provided. But a new internet craze of downloadable chat to replace skype has emerged among Omani's I know---and Omantel has promised not to block it this type.

What is it, you might wonder? Well, I don't have the link because I am a fan of ancient antique cellphones, but it is called "What's Up". Most workers in the cellphone service providers locations know what it is and can help you download it if you are as incompetent around technology as I am. For 3 Omani rials a month you can have unlimited texting anywhere in the world, and the format is much like MSN chat so it isn't too difficult to grasp. This is with Omantel. Some people say Nawras costs most but that hasn't been confirmed.

The one thing that has been?

Net sure has been alot slower since the rise in popularity of "what's up" and I am getting annoyed at friends and family obssessed with their "what's up" services. It was hard to disconnect them from their mobiles before but now it is almost hopeless.

Feel free to leave instructions or the link to the service in the comments box, dear readers.

Adopt a Cat from Al Qurum Vet Clinic, brought to you by Khaleejikat

2012-01-11T03:12:00.000-08:00

So there is the new blog about Al Qurum vet clinic in Muscat - where they have loads of kittens needing homes.

Anyone in Oman- please if you want a pet think about adopting a stray rather than going to one of those awful petshops.

To learn more visit http://khaleejikat.blogspot.com/

This usally doesn't apply to all the expats the OPNO girls know who have a cat or two from al qurum, plus one that followed them home from Mutrah ect, lol, but I am BEYOND tired of Omanis I know telling me cats brought in from the street are dirty, and that's why they go to those pet stores that import animals under the worst conditions, keeping them locked up without food. Many die before you see them reach the pet stores.

Did you know, that there was a woman in the Prophet Mohamed's time, who kept a cat locked up and did not feed it, and it died? The Prophet Mohammed [S.A.W] informed the Muslims that she would go to hell for her cruelty to that animal. If there are any God-fearing Muslim Omanis out there hoping to adopt a cat as a pet, why would you risk supporting a way of treating animals that your Prophet cursed so harshly?

Contrary to popular belief, street cats are not unclean. That is, if they are given a bath and injections/medecines to treat them. Al Qurum clinic does all this for you before you adopt your new pet. And you know what? Rescued cats are much more affectionate in my experiences. They appreciate kindness and a nice home :)

Happy New Years Oman

2011-12-29T02:13:00.000-08:00

The Girls of OPNO are sending out their blog-card early, and would like to wish you all a safe and happy new year. Our editor (moi, typing this) is going away for a busy week and likely won't have time to create or edit new post until the new Year, so please check back with us then. Happy New Year.

Lotsa Love,

-OPNOs in total LOL, looks like my internet ran out before this got posted.

Books We Girls Buy in Oman: The "Princess" trilogy by Jean Sasson

2011-12-29T00:46:00.000-08:00

Trilogy reviewed by OPNO:

The MOST popular chick litt purchase for bored expat wives in Muscat, no doubt, the "Princess" trilogy by American author, Jean Sasson, promises to be a "true" story of life inside the Sa'ud Royal family of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

If you are a biography girl, or love true life stories, then this book IS NOT for you.

Jean Sasson, who worked as a nurse in the Kingdom, claims she got the go-ahead to be a ghost writer of the story from a privalleged but suppressed Saudi Princess who wanted the world to know about the woesome life of Saudi women, even the state's royalty.

A lawsuit from another expat woman who was married into a rich Kuwaiti family tells otherwise, since her memoirs, scooped up/stolen by Sasson's publishers----and written much earlier than the "Princess" series, bear striking resemblances to the life of the fictional "Sultana" who is the protagonist of Sasson's works. Since I had a good look at this lawsuit and the memoirs online [someone feel free to post the link if you have it saved on your desktop] the resemblances are too many to be coincidence.

Since it is NOT the true life story of a "Desert Royale", but a highly embellished tale based upon the stolen memoirs of a glamorous divorcee once married into an extroidinarily wealthy Kuwaiti family, I read it as such. It is a fast and enjoyable story. And since I have many friends who worked as nurses to the Royal Family in the Kingdom who note that "had ever a princess been drowned by her father in the swimming pool of their villa it would have been common knowledge in Riyadh".

That aside, there are some truth in the oriental extravagance of Sasson's emblishments, such as the use of young child prostitutes sold by their own Egyptian parents to young Saudi princes in Cairo. Many of the same issues affecting a Kuwaiti woman who converted to Islam just to marry her handsome Arab business man would affect a Saudi Princess, and your average Omani girl too, should she have a hypocritical irreligious/immoral family.

The book IS an Orientalist's romp through the sexual fantasies of slaves, buying and selling maids for sex, marrying multiple wives and divorcing some to make way for younger prettier versions ect, and honour killings, all issues I am sure that have occured in Arab society, but on the scale and sequence of Sasson's books it was really too much for me to find even remotely plausible, even for the Sa'ud's.

All wildly entertaining, but shameful when marketed all as a true story, which would have been an incredible tale of survival of the human spirit otherwise, I give it that.

The series follows the life of Sultana, a Saudi Princess with a womanizing father, an evil brother, and a weak husband, and the lives of those women around her, including her sisters and daughters. As a story, it is an entertaining and quick read, with none of the honesty and slow bits and parts of a true biography. If you don't mind a bit of graphic sexuality such as a bunch of young virgins sacrificed in temporary marriages forced to tickle a man's face with a peacock feather shoved up their butts {yeah, I'm serrious, that was part of it} than by all means, this book will easily take your day up and leave you hating Saudi men forever;).

My conclusion. While the "Princess Series" does talk about some honest and true issues of gender inequality, and how Saudi society before the 80s only left a few roles for women in the Kingdom to grow up with {"Rebel without a Cause" and "Religious Extremist"}, because it was marketed as a true story that is nothing of the kind and paints Saudi society in an extroidinarily bad light as a whole, I have to say, it reads a little like propoganda, since most of those who read it believe it.

Did I love it? No, it is no work of litterature to be sure. Did I like it? Actually yes, it is a fun read. Does it have relevance? Kind of, in one way to speak of how the world outside of Saudi Arabia imagines Arabia to be, that extreme Orientalism still exists and sells better than truth, and of the topic of the limited roles for Saudi women in their society, but those two don't go together as they cannot be a platform for talk of change since they contradict any honesty on the subject thereof. I'd of preferred a well written version based on the Kuwaiti divorcee's memoirs though, to this romp through the menagerie of a fictiousous Saudi household and its palaces. The publisher should have gotten Sasson to write her memoir. Sasson is a much better writer for sure.

If you know it isn't the brave biography it is marketed as, it is Orientalist chick litt. at its best.

Books We Girls Buy in Oman: "Girls of Riyadh" by Rajaa Alsanea

2011-12-28T11:52:00.000-08:00

This is a new section for the blog where OPNO shall review books women tend to buy in Oman, especially expat women. As OPNO doesn't particularily enjoy Chick-litt unless it is well written, or it is made into a cute movie, like "Shopoholic", I hope you can enjoy her opinions;p

Here goes:

So, "Girls of Riyadh" was banned at first in Saudi Arabia, and the original Arabic translation went around on the blackmarket. Much love to Rajaa Alsanea for having the guts to talk about difficult Saudi traditions regarding sex and premaritial dating [with or without the former] that complicate many a life in the Kingdom. That said, I will make an allowance for the quality of the writing and try not to class the book as classic "chick litt" and blame the translator instead, or the English language itself, for not having the right words to convey Alsanea's original style which might have been more enticing for the English reader.

That said, if the ban was the reason you picked the book up and what got you all excited, you might actually enjoy your read. The book follows the love lives' of four young, upper middleclass Saudi women from the Kingdom's Capital, Riyadh.

Since OPNO's real-life Saudi friend circle consists MAINLY of women from this class of Saudi women, I find the portrait painted of the women themselves in the story highly innacurate and unrepresentative of Saudi women as a whole. Which most of my friends, the "girls" of Riyadh, will tell you themselves if you for a moment think them to be as irreligious and materialistic as the girls in the book. But that, they will tell you, as I now will in better English than they can for the most part afford [albeit in attrocious run-on sentances] is not the glorious point the book made that made it so salaciously spoken of by those weak minds it contradicted and confronted.

Following the love lives of the girls in a controversial way that is overly stated to make a point, we encounter time and time again, the very flat character that is the "man/boy of Riyadh". The flatness of his character, his inability to stand up to his overwhelming family or tribal ties, or his woman's career choice, or even his own desires', is TRULY what the novel addresses.

While Alsanea clearly narrates that this story is about the girls' lives, the antagonist is always the flatness of the male Saudi character and his inability to stand up to anything, even for the sake of himself. Traditions tie him thus, just as the girls are tied, but the book does not confront those traditions in a head-on way, more or less it snakes around the failed expectation for the man to do that while the girls go on with their careers inside the traditions that define Riyadh society to whatever fate awaits them. Either the lonely, tragic and bleak demise of hope for love, or the solid but not romantic traditional safety net won by driving within the lines.

Which makes reading the middle towards the end a little slow.

Which, reminds me very much, of the girls of Riyadh, that I DO know.

Did I love the book? No. Did I like it? Not really. Did I find it relevant? Yes, but not for the reasons it was marketed to its English audience.

What did I like about besides its relevance?

I like the style of narration from the beginning of the book. The character is sending out a string of weekly anonymous emails subscribed to by her followers, detailing the lives of the four young women the novel revolves around. This style is very realistic, and punchy, to the point of its relevance. I found it to be the ONLY highly realistic ungeneralised thing about the book.

The girls of Riyadh that I know? That is EXACTLY how they would tell the world the story of their lives, if they so desired to.

That's what we girls do on the OPNO blog, afterall;)

Natural Splendour in the GCC: the Sultanate of Oman

2011-12-28T10:28:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and sat outside in the courtyard's sunshine. As I sipped my turkish coffee in a small red clay cup, I was startled by the sizzling turquoise and bedazzling emerald colours of the bird pictured above, apparently named the "little bee eater". Neither the name, nor the picture, do the bird any justice.

And I am a cat person. To be such, you cannot have an overwhelming passion for birds. She was beautiful though, and didn't make a cacaphony of sounds like the neighboring parrots that overhwelm the mango groves, and the dark kohl-like markings around her eyes drew me in. She was probably a "he" so any passiontate bird-watchers out there, forgive me.

If I phoned my friends back home and talked about parrots, gazzelle, and the like, they'd assume I either lived near some rich Sheikh's personal zoo, or, next to an oasis, as fertile as their brainwashed orientalist imaginations run. My father is among them. All they expect are camels, camels, camels, which actually, I am always happy to see because they aren't very common in the places I have lived in the Sultanate. Most people never imagine Oman as green and wild as the Sultanate truly is. When I talked of wolves, foxes, leopards, no one believed me.

I hosted a business woman from the UK for my work around Oman this time last year. She remarked that Oman had surprised her. She expected, of course, desert, and was surpirsed to find the lawns of Muscat's highways and roundabouts so manicured, and, well, green.

Oman has always been green, but I do remember from my childhood, when the only grass I could really find not on a hotel lawn in Muscat was on the grand mosque's garden. Expats who do live in Oman, Muscat has never really BEEN Oman's greenest place, so you do have to venture beyond your safety zones to find a little touch of home.For those of an adventourous nature, or who have always fantasized in an Orientalist mindset of a trek through the desert ending up at an oasis with palms and clear water, Sharqiyah region has many a fine wadi for you:For what I consider a more authentic Oman adventure a climb into the peaks of the mountains to find the green villages between is an enduring pastime of mine, in Al Dakliyah region, and Al Batinah:And for the homesick and heat-stricken, Dhofar region aka Salalah during the Summer will conjure images of Ireland and the rolling English countryside before it does a Gulf oil state, that is, of course, until you spy a camel grazing:I remember a facebook conversation with an American friend of mine who'd remarked she had a Kuwaiti friend who'd said Oman was the armpit of the Gulf States. Since even my most arrogant Saudi friends think Kuwaitis are arrogant I could leave that comment up to that, but since I had a Qatari aquaintance who remarked that Qataris, Kuwaitis, Saudis, and people from Bahrain quickly get bored of the sights of shopping, desert camping, and modern architecture in their own Gulf states, it could be that this Kuwaiti FB fellow was suffering green with envy over Oman's remarkable greenery. Salalah's Khareef is famous GCC wide and the assortment of thobes, ghutras [even Kobra styled ones], igals, and kandouras there year in and year out bear testament to that, as well as some supersized SUVs that DEFINATELY DON'T know how to drive in the rain of Salalah's misty roads. So amid all that envy, and amid the invasion of your arrogant neighboring GCC tourists, I would like to remind my Omani country-mates of your famed Omani friendliness and hospitality despite all that past "Saudi stole our oilfeilds" and "Emirates took our water" and "Kuwaitis make the most horribly ridiculous and repetative soap operas that we are indeed addicted to" yada yada for a minute, and be your cute, adorably grinning selves, because yes, even the Messenger of Allah said this green would stay with ya'll in this place until the day of judgement in a hadith, so: Yay Oman;)

The "InshaAllah..." Mindset Strikes Again

2011-12-28T04:30:00.000-08:00

After having asked my husband to clean the yard "this week" 9 weeks running now, so that HIS guests can have a safe (and clean) place for their children to play, I do not feel bad at all posting this. Anyone who has been a English teacher in USA, or anywhere in Asia, and in the Middleeast, will relate. So will loads of others, so even though MOP DOES NOT fit the "inshaAllah" stereotype, I am mad about the "inshaAllah I will clean the yard" soooooo.... here goes.

JAPANESE/CHINESE/KOREAN ATTITUDE FOR WORK:

"If one can do it, I can do it. If no one can do it, I must do it."

MIDDLE EASTERN ATTITUDE FOR WORK:

"Wallahi, if one can do it, let him do it. If no one can do it, ya habibi how can I do it?"

Daily Diary: More Photos of my Own from Nakhl, Al Batinah, Oman

2011-12-26T04:51:00.000-08:00

Some more of my cellphone photography. Taken at Nakhl fort. More photos can be found in the older post on Nakhl.

"Caring What People Think Too Much in Oman"

2011-12-26T03:55:00.001-08:00

Caring what people think too much, is a village's theme in Oman. Which is why my husband, who loves his village more passionatley than many who actually reside there, does not want to live there at this point in his life. Same goes for his cousin, who has all her family and friends there, but wishes often, that she could escape to a nice cosy apartment in Muscat.

Example: my sister in law recently purchased the abaya pictured below.
Now, fact is, some are jealous that she can afford such designer looks. There will always be haters. Some are jealous in fact, that all her money is her own, and that she takes a share of her husband's also. No man in her life tells her she has to stay at home and accept what he can hand her. Some women let themselves be told they cannot work, or what feild they can work in [Oman is awesome for the fact that its government and even religious authority DOES NOT]. My husband, as great as he is in many things, is jealous, because he loves me, and he tries to say don't work where you have to talk to men, ect. My sister in law and I, we simply don't let the men in our lives tell us what to do as long as we are doing no wrong and that's that. Any man worth anything gets over it, and those that aren't, better to leave them ANYWAYS.

Some people resent this freedom because they don't understand it or are threatened by it.

I'll admit my sister-in-law's overall hijab isn't perfect (who's is?), but the abaya was pretty perfect. A little design on the edging of her sleeves shouldn't warrant any gossip because there is indeed, nothing haraam in the shape of the abaya. It meets all the Islamic dress code requirements should one consult the litterature we Muslims use to draft our legislature. It wasn't covered in jewels or an ostentasious show of wealth. People in the village show off in other ways, by building bigger villas than they need so what is the harm in a sleeve, even if most other girls in the village wear plainer sleeves? It wasn't tight. It was, in fact, looser than many a plainer abaya.

Even those of our family knowing this, educated as they, are afraid they will stand out. People will notice. People will talk.

When my husband first married me almost no one in his family would even meet me. Since I am Muslim, this is not Islamic at all. In fact, it is sinful even. Only this sister-in-law, who will admit, she is the least well read on religious books out of any of them. But the thing is, what she has read, she follows, even if it is different from "the people".

WHY should we do this? Because, well, sometimes the people are wrong.

As well read as I am on the subject of hijab, my sister-in-law could march down the street in a yellow abaya and I would know she was closer to how the Prophet Mohammed's wife Ayesha dressed historically, than any woman in the village, so a little design on her sleeve was nothing to rag on her about.

People in the village tell me so many wrong things about Islam, and our village is still one of the most Islamic places I have ever seen or lived, that I feel it is no wonder the non-Muslim world perceives Islam as it does.

Now, as time has passed, and I have been accepted into the society of this place, even more than my sister-in-law is, and she was born here, and those who physically locked doors so they wouldn't see me invite me and come to my door, I want those same people to know that their acceptance has not come because "I cared what they thought" and changed anything about myself, but because there was nothing wrong with myself to begin with, and I carried on living my life in a way that was harming no one.

My husband's additude of "Just watch me", when everyone was like "You can't do that" and 2 of his sisters' being the same, made all the difference in the world. They may not have been able to stamp out every kind of prejudice, but they made a dent. N&K you are the best, and MOP, I love you;)

Eventually, when someone just ends up doing the right thing, or even just doing their own thing when it isn't anything harmful, others of a more timid nature will follow suit, and then the haters won't have much of an audience left to listen to them go on anymore.

Moral of this post is, I want to live in the village. I want my husband to live in his village. He loves it there. I don't want haters to be able to stir up people with limited understanding and even more shallow depths of courage. So what should I do? I should just continue to live my life, and always do what I know to be the right thing over the wrong thing. Sometimes just doing a thing that isn't wrong but that other people don't do once in a while while maintaing a moral life is enough to remind someone out there, to think for themselves and maybe more right actions to correct larger problems will follow.

So, when something isn't wrong, but someone out there tells you, you can't? Turn around and tell them: "Watch me".

WTH?! Say what? So I took off my hijab and was just sitting around smoking shisha????

2011-12-26T03:32:00.001-08:00

This is a rant of a rather personal nature. All those not involved please forgive.

If I could remember exactly which villa is yours I would drive up to your house and confront you thus:

How dare you slander my friend and myself and say you saw that we had taken off our hijabs and were sitting around smoking shisha. What a load of bull crap, excuse my plain English.

Anyone who knows me even a little, even those who have no great love for me, know how ridiculous that accusation is, knowing what the two of us went through to wear hijab in our own country.

Insulted almost daily, seen as suppressed women of inferior understanding despite our education, my friend had boiling hot water thrown on her, we both lost many job opportunities, and of course our non-Muslim parents will never treat us with the same closeness as before, and still we supported our decision fiercely and with smiles.

We love our hijabs so much so, that the way that you and your daughters wear it IS an insult to us, you with all your freedom to wear it with ease and support. Wearing it as you do, incorrectly in a cultural rather than Islamic manner, what nerve you have to sit around and gossip about others. What you said of us was in no way true, but I imagine that if you lied about us so lightly it is no trouble to you to judge others. Beware such habits. As you judge, so shall you be judged. That is why Islam tells us to cover the sins of others.

I remember one of your daughters sitting around and having a laugh at being at the top of the Eiffel tower in Paris and a French Muslim girl coming up to her to tuck your daughter's fabulously styled bangs back into her stylishly thrown-on scarf. If you knew what that French girl goes through to wear her hijab, forbidden from attending school as she is because of her beliefs, or enter government buildings, you wouldn't laugh at the joke that is the cultural form of hijab that you are all so okay with while deriding how she and I are dressed.

I never took off my hijab while staying with your family. I have never taken it off since I started wearing it actually. I have never been tempted untuck even one strand of my fringe. I didn't even take off my niqab while staying with your family. I wore it my own non-Muslim country for God's sake! I didn't take it off to get a job that I wanted so desperately, so why would I take it off in a Muslim country to go smoke a shisha?!

I wore it in a non-Muslim country…

So did your daughter in law, once upon a time, better than your daughters have ever worn it in a Muslim country.

And I have never smoked in my life. Not shisha, not tabacco. My friend, also, being the health nut she is, would never touch shisha or any other kind of poison.

I know you don't respect the niqab, being that alot of women of your nation wear it to make harrakaat. I too have known women who wear niqab and are prostitutes, and have heard tell of women who wear abaya raas and are pimpettes. But I wear it because I try to keep Um Salamah, Aicha, and Asma bint Abu Bakr as my examples, and I don't care what anyone else thinks as long as what I am doing is good and right. With that line of thinking, I was totally okay with non-Muslims who don't understand Islam and the role of Muslim women coming up to me and insulting me over my veil, but I was never prepared for you, a Muslim woman, and the mother-in-law of my bestfriend, to insult me thus. To this day, your words, said with a smile but tongue meant like a knife, cut me: "Little ghost." Meaning, the veil makes me look ghastly or half a person. Which it cannot. No amount of fabric in the world can change the person I am or cover what I want the world to know about me. Your words revealed all I ever wish to personally know of you, beyond the prayer that God guide you, forgive you your slander as I now will having ranted enough, and that you change.

You know what? I remember your daughter in law. She was the kind of woman strong in her own Islam, when I knew her. In fact, it was her who taught me to seek the knowledge that makes me so adamant in my own hijab. Her time surrounded with the rather hypocritical like of yourself and others changed her, into someone I now worry over, but alhamdulilah she is doing alot better now that she is away from ya'll. I can't hold you responsible for all that, but I want you to know you had a part in breaking down one of the strongest and best people I have ever known. And your lies about my friend and myself will never affect me beyond making me feel sorry for you. Even your own son never believed you because he knows what kind of women we are, and what strength we have in us.

Allah guide you, and help protect you from your own tongue.

DAILY DIARY: Sights Along the Way to Wadi Abyad

2011-12-26T00:30:00.000-08:00

In Barka, turning left off the highway at the Lulu roundabout, and then going right past the small park until you come to a paved road surrounded by alot of little mechanic shops ect where usually quite a few trucks are parked, if you head straight eventually you will pass a small village to the left called Habra with quite a few date palms and eventually come to Wadi Abyad (there will be signs and you will go over a bridge). OPNO took a 4x4 the other day to head out there, but was distracted by the sights along the way. Namely some camels on a ridge of sand shortly after the turn off.There were alot of camels, and some very cute baby ones. Which is what really drew OPNO's attention. Running down the sand dunes was also fun. We had no idea really, that there were dunes here.Finally arriving at Wadi Abyad, after going through some mountains spotted with grazing goats where the local Omani women dress in colourful printed village dresses rather than black abayas, it was very private and serene under the setting sun.On the way back we drove through the village of Habra where OPNO just had to stop to photograph these beautiful doors. One could forget and think for a minute they were on the coast of Zanzibar. Except it was better, surrounded by the shade of date palms;). One can also go to Nakl or Rustaq from this road, and a 4x4 is not required to reach all the sights posted on OPNO blog.

Can one lose one's self truly, and if one can, how does one get back?

2011-12-22T02:57:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking lately on what it means to "lose one's self". I hear the expression all the time. "I lost myself in the music" "lost myself in thought." Is it truly possible to lose yourself in a Culture? I think, definately yes. I see Omani, Saudi, and Emirati girls go to University back in my country (I have never met a Kuwaiti in my life and the only Qataris I met were men) and abandon their black abayas for skinny jeans and shirts that are short and even knee high boots and cleavage sans scarves. My more religious inlaws would say they have lost themselves. Me, having found myself in black abaya and scarves don't feel lost floating in and out of the culture here, even in the village. But it leads me to think of those girls back in Uni all the way out West, taking off their abayas. Some, took them off to fit in with the crowd. Others did it because they were told to. All will put them back on when they come home. Reading "Shy Rebellious Arab Girl"'s blog I think, one can't lose themselves if they were lost already in their own culture. Some girls are more at home in skinny jeans than abayas. I am okay with that. I am more at home with myself in an abaya than skinny jeans in public. Maybe, it is more or less, always a case of finding one's self. Such was the case for me, and I find myself here.To lose one's self means giving up those things that make you who you are. If you never got to decide those things you were lost to begin with so I don't think you can "lose yourself" then, until you find yourself first. Rambling post, forgive. So if you have lost yourself can you get yourself back? I mean, if you run off somewhere where nobody knows your name and you do some zany stupid silly things that neither define you or are who you truly are, can you find yourself again?

This happened to me, when I first came here, to Muscat. I don't think, from those things, I will ever be myself, as I was before, ever again. Every experience changes a person for better or for worse. But what I do believe, is that it is never too late to start over, and that one can redefine what and who one is every moment that there is still breath in their lungs. So the moral of this ramble is, IT IS OKAY TO LOSE YOURSELF, AS LONG AS YOU CAN GET YOURSELF BACK. {end ramble}

For C, a Cruise down the Nile in Style

2011-12-22T02:41:00.000-08:00

Owwww, just burnt my tongue on some waaaaaaaaaaaay tooooooooo hot chai magraibi (Morrocan tea) as typing this. I had posted some pics of a Nile cruise earlier in a post trying to convince my father to come to Oman over Egypt (being tear gassed at the time). The tour company is http://www.nourelnil.com/ .

Wheelchair Accessibility in Seeb City Center Mall: something I just noticed???

2011-12-22T01:46:00.000-08:00

NOTE: Thank you commentator #1. Apparently there ARE elevators. I just didn't see them nor did any of my friends. I also did not see signs. Maybe we are very clueless, who knows?

POST: Now this is something I had never noticed before. You know the new stores all up in Seeb City Center mall? Marks and Spencer, Toy R US, Noodle House, Chilis? Well, until I had a friend visiting with her baby (and thus a stroller), I had never noticed before that there is NO way down from that floor except by one narrow escalator. Not safe with a stroller. 100% impossible on one's own with a wheelchair. Same goes for the other side with the Homesense and E Max or whatever it is called. Now the Homesense side, they definately need to install something new like an elevator ect, to deal with that, but the funny thing about the other side? They have 3 up options, one escatlator, and two escatlator ramps. All they need to do to make the area more accessible is make one of the ramps a DOWN option.

Designer Abayas: Winter Collection from Effa

2011-12-22T01:03:00.000-08:00

As a girl who loves vintage from the 30s to 40s, Effa's winter collection appealed to me on sooooo many levels. I am not into all the designs, but bias cut satin draped in jewel tones has some kind of timeless appeal. While the shapes of the designs are nothing innovative, excepting maybe the magenta open-abaya design which wouldn't flatter my petite form, I love some of the classics. Thank you Madame Vionette for inventing the bias drape for us all so we can enjoy it on an Effa abaya. My favourite from the collection is the top design because I adore emerald green (it flatters EVERY skin tone).

Fabulous Lunar Eclipse Last Night

2011-12-11T13:41:00.000-08:00

So the moon is full again. Too bad I didn't blog it, but there was a pretty spectacular lunar eclipse last night over the full moon. Did anybody else get the chance to enjoy it?

Candy Canes Now in Stock at your Local Lulu

2011-12-08T23:44:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year. My family will be sending me Western Union gifts (even though I am Muslim and have tried to get them on board the whole Eid train but they think Eid is barbaric and all that with the whole animal cutting bit even though they are okay with frozen supermarket electrified turkeys and what not). But a gift is a gift and in Islam it is rude to refuse and Muslims should give those they love gifts all the year through so... I shall accept. We'll call it a belated Eidiya on our end ;D.

The stores have Charlie Brown style {miskeen} artificial X-mas trees on display [err, sort of], and I will take advantage of all the imported festive chocolates and cookies in stock, as well as my year long love: peppermint candy canes. I like to stir the whipped cream into my cinnimon spiced hot chocolate with them;). Though I don't think 20 candy canes ever cost 1.8 rials back home, but I think I splurge being that they only come around once a year in Oman.

And I was tempted to buy a "Top Gear" holiday countdown calendar, even though no one I am close with is in Oman celebrating the Yule this year anyways, simply because, Top Gear merchandise makes me smile.

Now, does anyone know where they do a good gingerbread in Muscat? I'd do it at home, but the smell of molasses sticks around forever and isn't all that fetching a scent.

People ARE SOOOOOOOOO PICKY!!!!!: my arranging arranged marriages rant

2011-12-08T12:13:00.000-08:00

People are soooooooooo picky!!!!!!

This last year people have been asking MOP and me to look for a husband or a wife for them left and right. You see, being that we come from 2 worlds, we should have more to offer than their village or social circle has been the thinking that led to us being in this predicament I am sure.

We both have many friends and friends of friends, both men and women, looking to get married. We've even found some we thought were perfect pairs.

But I have found this to be true, alot of the women want the man to be richer, or are unwilling to move to a different place. While the men ask that the woman be beautiful in a way his society thinks is beautiful (even the blind one, go figure), rather than a woman that would suit him better.

There was one man set on one of the women we had in mind, though not for him, because he thought she was beautiful, while he turned down a woman who was closer to what he was looking for in his description of what he wanted from a wife. The beautiful one he'd have divorced (or she'd have divorced him) right away, and been nothing but trouble to one another, while the other woman would make him happy for sure but he would not even consider her.

Beauty is fine now, sure, so is money, but those things don't make a happy marriage at all. LOL, one doesn't need Dior makeup brushes and Arabesque abayas to ake the happy home with a young handsome and relatively well-off and prepared to provide for her husband who'll let her design her own villa but just doesn't want to be married solely for his money so rejects buying en-masse brand names on principle. A blind man doesn't need a supermodel.

Also, one of OPNO girls is a second wife, and people know she is my friend and that I am okay with Islamic polygyny so they ask if I can find them Muslim convert second wives from my country.

I am okay with this, totally, if the man IS marrying a second wife for an Islamic reason. Most aren't, and won't be able to manage it, and I get my friend's husband to advise them against, knowing how hard it is in his own experience. And if they are idiotic about it all, I won't give any options.

Dumbest reason yet I've heard my husband's friends ask us to look for a 2nd wife for them? They loved their wife too much and she simply wouldn't move from her village and he was stuck working in Muscat. I GUARANTEE YOU, dear readers, she'd move in an instant should he remarry, then the 2nd one would be vastly unhappy, and the 1rst one would perhaps make her husband less happy than he was at the time, and he might love her less, or she love him less, and yeah, I'd not be the pickler in that pickle.

Gentle soul, at least kudos to him for not cheating, but I mean, marrying a second won't solve your existant maritial woes, it will just cause new ones.

And for those insistant on marrying young, beautiful converts, willing to be second wives, don't expect a virgin on top of that. Most virgins don't wanna be second wives. They have better choices and more options out there so get realistic standards. Even the divorcees and widows who are converts, expect alot out of a marriage if they are going to be a second, on top of you treating the first fair, so don't expect them to expect less, just because your society treats women in the same position as them as less. They studied Islam and knows Islam guarantees them alot, and their culture taught them their value isn't linked to what your society links a woman's value to.

Also, for my dear convert friends insistant on marrying a man from the Gulf.

1.) Abandon all your delusions and know what you can handle. Just because you like traditional foods and dances doesn't mean you can cut it in the village when your mother-in-law asks you to circumcise your newborn daughter and you can't wear anything other than what the other women are wearing. Alot of you just aren't strong or smart enough or have enough knowledge about who you are as a person yet to make that decision to marry into tribal what-have you. And getting out of tribal what have you is hard for me to help you in, so don't be offended when I tell you you aren't ready for marriage and need to grow more as a person first.

2.) The majority of men in the Gulf aren't all rich handome Sheikhs who will drive you around in a Ferrari and buy you deisgner abayas and handbags and hire you a villa full of maids, and most of the ones who are like that, are creeps when it comes to being a husband or have no time for a wife else THEY WOULD HAVE MARRIED A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG KHALEEJI GIRL WHO LIKE A FREAK OF NATURE WAS BORN WITH LIGHT COLOURED EYES LIKE YOU AND LIGHT SKIN. Your beauty doesn't entitle you to Prince Charming here, and if that's what you are depending on, beauty is as beauty does. Trust me, I know alot of girls married to this kind of guy in the Gulf. If that's one of your main requirements for finding a husband, I refuse to offer you even the rich good men I know the same way I refuse the guys who turn down women who'd make them happy because they want a certain "beautiful type."

Like creepy Doctor I who keeps emailing me to ask for a wife. He turned down my very white friend because she wasn't white enough. He meant, her eyes were brown.

I've thought of finding a gold digger blonde blue eyed non-Muslim beauty for him to pretend to be Muslim to marry him and make off with his money to teach him a lesson but I am not that mean so I've just "junked" all his requests.

Good luck Dr. I in finding a young, beautiful, blonde, blue-eyed convert girl of good Islamic principles to marry.

Strangely enough, people shallow enough to turn down a woman because she's not beautiful enough don't want to marry a woman who'd be shallow enough to turn him down if he was poor, and vice versa. There's a match I wouldn't mind making, if it was based on mutual shallow-ness, though I bet it would lead to unhappiness anyway, but I won't tie one giving self-sacrificing person to a shallow one, no matter how easy it would be.

I am sorry for the length of this rant I am just so tired of people getting stuck up on certain things, and too many of them.

The guy wants good Muslim wife willing to marry a poor blind man. Why request that she also be beautiful huh? It is hard enough to find the first few?! Why not something useful, like, say, soft skin and a beautiful voice?

Request a husband that will accept a woman whose not a virgin, a good Muslim, rich, young, preferably never having been married, willing to understand Western culture, and holds a specific GCC passport? Deeeeeeeeear Allah, help us, should such men be readily available no woman would remain unmarried in HIS OWN country.

Omani women are just as picky for the post part, or their families are, unless they are divorced or something,

If I was as picky as ya'll, I'd never have found the love of my life soooooooo....

{end rant}

Does anyone know about private Dhow cruises?

2011-12-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

MOP just told me that he wants to take me on Dhow cruise in Musandam. How cool would that be? Does anyone know any tour companies that do more private dhow cruises? I reeeeeaaaaally can't see us sitting with a bunch of other tourists, drinking beer like I've seen on alot of the touroperators' websites I've google. We'd want something a bit more private.

Latest Designs from Malaak

2011-12-08T11:18:00.000-08:00

Friends and I were discussing the creativity of Malaak's designs last season. It was stated that the one-off of the shoulder pads and studs (worn by fashion blogger Latifa Al Shamsi and that Emirati-Egyptian chick on 20-something) was something feirce, albeit, not for us personally. Or, many body types that our minds could imagine. Like I've blogged before, Malaak is like, the Balenciaga of abayaat. This season, shoulder pads remained extreme. I like it in some of the designs though I could not wear them myself, and in others, a bad 80s powersuit flashback came to me, and also, horrifying polyester shoulder-padded jilbab monstrousities of internet purchases in the past when Islamic designers were scarce and all that was available was Jordanian granny-wear. Thankfully, Malaak is not granny wear, even for those of us who are not skilled in all trends. When I made inqueries, all designs were available without shoulder pads. So congrats to MALAAK who are now in SAKS in Dubai ;). Gorgeous display. I like this one best;) albeit, I'd order it sans shoulder pads for I am no Latifa;):

More About Having a New Baby in Oman

2011-12-08T05:38:00.000-08:00

THE BABY IS ALWAYS "BARD"

When you have a baby in Oman, and you have Omani inlaws, you must be prepared to be hot when visiting, as your baby is always and will always be "bard" [arabic for cold, not a playwright] and people will inevitably turn all the acs off.

The baby will be "bard" even IF it is wearing a fleece onesie body suit, mitts, a wool hat, and insulated bootsies.... and then on top off that is wrapped so that it cannot move its arms in a giant blanket. And it is scorching outside. The baby still will be "bard" even if it is sweating and crying and all red because the baby is insanely hot in all those layers and the giant blanket and hates its itchy wool hat that would be fine if one lived in the Arctic, but not Oman.

I have learned that the baby is always "bard" .

My baby is rebelling. She is anti-hat, anti-blanket. She remains, sadly, helpless against the "off" button on the ac remote.

I adore this abaya from Effa

2011-12-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

I love 1940s vintage glamour and this abaya is sooooooooooooooooooooooo me.

How Would OPNO celebrate the Egyptian Elections were I forced to be in Egypt right now?

2011-12-05T06:27:00.000-08:00

For some reason, my father refuses to visit me here in Oman. Yes, yes, I understand the plane ticket is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay expensive. I understand there are far more interesting places (to him) he'd rather be for all that money.... like....for example: "India, or Egypt." His choices, not mine. I'm a Spain and Italy girl, or the English countryside. Or a Whistler weekend on the ski slopes accompanied by a nice romantic sleighride with snow falling and a fireplace and hot chocolate to get back to, if we're speaking vacay [guess where I'm going, inshaAllah, next year].

The funny thing being my father doesn't like dirty, crowded places, and abhors beggars in a vacation locale. So I raise an eyebrow at his "I'd rather" 's. I know for a fact he'd like Oman more, but like so many he thinks of this place as desert and backwards and way too hot. Maybe I've complained too much in emails back home???? Well, no one I've ever spoken to whose had to be in Egypt or gone there has loved too much about Egypt. It is hot, it has alot of beggars, it is dirty (this is Cairo) but if I had to be in Egypt in vacay right now, I'd choose to celebrate the Egyptian elections with a cruise down the Nile. [One of the things people who HAVE been to Egypt tell me make it worthwhile beyond those good 'ole fashioned Pyramids].

And you aren't likely to get tear gassed this week like a group of my friends have either, should you be safely tucked away on this floating hotel on the Nile.

Not on my list of places to go to anytime soon [no offense Egypt], but the Nile?: Beautiful.

Traditions in Oman to do with Having a Baby

2011-12-05T03:27:00.000-08:00

So for some reason, either my net hook-up, or my blogger won't let me upload any images right now. I had saved alot of pretty pictures for images posts but those will all have to wait, and I guess, in the meantime, I have to post something of a little more substance. Here goes:

The traditions in Oman to do with having a baby, at least, as I have so far experienced. Traditions may differ, region to region:

#1 THE GUESTS

In Oman, when you have a baby, you are expected to stay home for a whole month, and have guests pounce upon you daily in droves. More than seven seperate sets of guests a day if you live close to your family and friends. Only these guests come for your care or entertainment. They bring with them food in the form of some kind of fruit to be sliced, and offer to cook for you or get you anything you may need. The only thing you are supposed to have on hand for them is freshly brewed Omani coffee [qahwa].

#2 HELBA

Helba powder, aka the herb also known as fenugreek, is pushed on you passionately by all village women. You are told to drink it in warm milk and to wash it down with honey. Honey is also pushed on you, and freshly slaughtered meat, and maybe some halawa (some sweet that I find just as gross as helba cooked in milk). These are all for your health, and the bitter dried and crushed helba seeds (which contribute to a bizarre boyd odour) is supposed to increase your milk supply for breastfeeding. The slaughtered meat, to keep the woman strong after delivery through her postpartum bleeding.

#3 ONLY INSANELY EXPENSIVE HONEY IS GOOD ENOUGH

Honey is supposed to help the woman who has just delivered recover and only "natural" honey will do. By natural honey, Omanis don't just mean honey pure with no additives made from the spit of bees. Which would be the definition of natural honey. I found this to be confusing at first. Oh no. What they mean is the insanely expensive honey collected from "WILD" bee hives. 70 rials for a Vimto size bottle. Al Shifa is totally okay with me. 10 rials for the same size bottle, and 100% natural. Just not wild.

#4 ARRANGED MARRIAGES

Inlaws start asking for reservations on the new baby. I think/hope they are joking, but possibly not. I have avoided agreeing to anything despite my bad Arabic.

#5 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

It is a tradition to wrap money in the form of rials or bigger rial notes in a new baby's blanket. Expats, wanna know what we do instead of the baby shower? This.

#6 ISALMIC IQIQA

Under the "Omani Holidays" section on the OPNO sidebar this was already blogged about in detail, but in short, it is an Islamic tradition that a month after the birth, 2 sheep are slaughtered (or one, depending on hadith tradition) and the weight of the baby's shaved hair in gold is given away charity in thankfulness for the arrival of a healthy baby.

Designer Abayas: the latest collection from Arabesque

2011-11-16T10:33:00.000-08:00

I have never made a secret of my love and devotion to the Arabesque brand of abayas. I will even venture to Abu Dhabi (which I have no great love or affection for) to go to the Abu Dhabi mall [when I can afford to splurge] for Judith's timelessly beautiful and chic creations. [The only other thing worth seeing in that mall is Abu Haleeqa, which I have a soft spot for because they make shaylas embroidered with stawberries and kiwis, and had pretty awesome traditional Emirati wedding thobes last time I was in]. This year though, the collection reminds me more of New York chic than Parisian glamour. Nothing wrong with that of course. The two images below this post? Very Narcisco Rodriguez, like a sleek and sporty evening gown. Of course, the abayas featured towards the end of the post, feature Arabesque-brand-iconic french lace, which you have to touch in person to appreciate the quality of it. But my fave pic of the season? The first abaya featured above. It is the Prada suit of abayas. That would suit many a boardroom business meeting in Muscat for me.

The perfect bedroom design for my Omani husband

2011-11-16T10:17:00.000-08:00

Discussing married life with another woman like myself belonging to an ultra-secret [not really] online club for women married to men from the GCC, we noted our husbands' preferences for sleeping on the floor. This bedroom pictured above, were the bed ON the floor, would suit my husband 100%. Omanis who grew up in a traditional home did not grow up with excess furniture. My husband said mats on the floor were the order of the day. He agrees to my love of mosquitoe netting out of a hate for mosquitoes and flies. The wood beams above and lanterns would remind him of his 400 year old childhood home. The room would also charm me. Tradition CAN sometimes win out in the name of simplicity if the room is as architecturally stunning as this room in the Dubai XVA hotel. Funny thing is, even the most traditionally spartan male would allow a flat screen tv to be placed in this room. Shame. I'd have to hide it somehow in a wardrobe to be sure.

Just Relaxing in my Oman after the Eid

2011-11-16T09:40:00.001-08:00

Life changed dramatically for me this Eid al Adha. I had a baby. That was my Eid. No prayer, no mishakeek, no shua. Litterally, the "having" of the baby took up the Eid.

Before this, I was too busy to blog, because, a. I was too preggo to walk very far so my wild adventures were limited to driving to such exotic places such as Seeb City center, although I did manage to shop but contractions made me fear I was going to have my daughter in the Zara. Which would have been something for those fellas sitting outside the Costa I imagine. And B. I had guests almost consistantly, which I hosted oh so shamefully, being unable to take them anywhere nice and worth seeing in Oman beyond the Mutrah Corniche souq, and city center, and before that, others from the U.K.

The rain made my roof leak in the guest room on their luggage and beds, and moving furniture at midnight was quite an adventure. Thank you to you honourary OPNOs for your patience, and driving me & MOP through a flood one night;). I apologise yet again that Nawras failed to set up your blackberry BBM right and yet charged you, that you didn't get to see the interior because I insisted on staying close to a certain hospital in the capital out of righteous fear of Bahla hospital [no offense to anyone decent who actually works there]. I am sorry you didn't get Athaiba mishakeek, OR village mishakeek, that you had to stay a night in a hook-up hotel before we found a better one, and that you were part of a street fight between Baluchis and Omanis in Mutrah [THOUGH THAT IS WEIRD, and not at all common I assure you. Just your luck;)]. I hope you enjoyed Oman, and thank you for spoiling my little Omani Princess [who really IS Omani].

All other readers, I feel really bad for not posting alot, but all OPNO girls are busy with projects, and me, the editor, is really, really tired, getting used to a new baby, and organizing the day around her. Hope you don't mind if my posting is a little more sporadic over the next month. I'll try until then, to find you some beautiful images inshaAllah.

A Post with Nothing Much to Say but Today was a Beautiful Day

2011-10-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

I simply must say, that after yesturday's crazy weather [pouring rain, and then the first sandstorm I have ever experienced this close to Muscat] and the 2 hours it took me to sweep out the sand and dust down everything, today's weather was perfect. Sunny, but not hot at all, so that I didn't even have to turn on the AC, and not a chill yet, into the evening. Just sitting out in the courtyard now, having a fresh mint tea served in a Morrocan tea glass [2.5 rials for a set of six at Homesense/Centerpoint right now], listening to the birds before the adhan sounds, the air smelling of limes and narcissus. Life is beautiful.

My Own Photos: Day to See Nakhl Fort some years ago & Ain Al Thuwayrah last year

2011-10-13T05:58:00.000-07:00

Nakhl really is one of my favourite places in Oman. I feel so calm and relaxed [not too mention cool] walking in the shade of date plantations, letting little fishies kiss my feet as I wade through crystal clear softly warmed hot spring waters, and exploring the architecture of adobe-like Sarooj at Nakhl fort. Afterwards, I always stop for a kebab stick or 2 of goat "mishakeek" and a cup of cooked corn and just stand for a while and soak in the local life as the small souq shuts down with the sun as it is setting and the dusk prayer is called. Being that Nakhl is so close to Muscat, I wonder that alot of tourists don't make a go of it as it never seems busy to me, as Nizwa fort and Jabrin fort can. Just a turn off from the Barka roundabout [the one with Lulu to the right driving from Muscat] and then less than twenty minutes straight from there until you see 3 Omani flags marking government buildings clustered to your left, and up right from there, there really isn't a good sign to show exact directions until you see Nakhl fort arise [as Angry in Oman noted]. Speaking to locals, I felt though, that some of the tourists that do come disrespect that Ain Al Thuwayrah [the hot springs] is right next to the traditional village and part of it. Playing loud music in the car park and drinking, and engaging in sexual activities [I am not talking hand holding by couples or a cute peck on the cheek] IN THE HOT SPRING have made the locals disengage themselves from being more welcoming in the traditional manner I find part of the essential Oman experience. I miss the days when no one would ever hesitate to invite a stranger for at least some sliced fruit and cardamon infused coffee in this region. The villagers of Nakhl are some of the most giving Omanis you'll ever get to know if you make yourself suitable for them to open up to [how many know Nakhl families and are forced to stay for dinner late into the night when the family kills a goat in their honour and a fresh feast is prepared for you, the guest, right? lol]. Unfortunately, in the last few years, ROP friends have given disapointing news of Nakhl where a few angry locals made off with tourists camping gear and kit, not to have stolen it, but to disregard it somewhere else. In all these cases tourists should have known their behaviour would upset the local populace. Dear gay tourists, yes Nakhl is still safe for you to visit, but do not disrespect the locals by having sex in the hot spring pools [this also goes for you Muscati Omani boys with your girlfriends] and if you are going to try and hit on a Nakhl guy local, being a guy yourself, well, when you go for a swim, don't leave your plain clothes or your gear unattended. Really, in that case, if it goes missing only to be found a day later half a mile up the road or hanging from some tree, don't be surprised, as lack of respect for local customs and sensibilities will surely get you the same in return. Yes, this is bad behaviour by the locals, but yours was culturally worse on the terms of ignorance, so I find it hard to reprimand the villagers of Nakhl for their change of attitude regarding the welcoming of guests, such an integral part of their culture. And something I guarantee you, you don't want to miss out on, because if you've stayed for more than 3 cups of tea in the homes here, you have probably found a true friend for life.

Police Break Up Peaceful Protest by Omani Teachers with Violence

2011-10-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

I guess it's been in and about on the Arabic Omani Sablah (which I am daft at reading being my Arabic is limited to fluently pointing at things and naming them in a one word manner) but I seem to have lost the Youtube link to the video. If you can search in Arabic for it, please feel free to post the link here.

Well, apparently last week or so a group of government Omani teachers went to protest the 4x salary raises of contemporaries and their 1 time in the same ammount of time raises. Not a huge issue. Nothing remotely Sohar roundabout-ish. Not all teachers went.

Watching the video, the men were composed. They spoke to their Minister. They conducted themsevles not in any radical (even looking like a protest) manner. Yet a bus seemed to arrive to arrest a portion of the group. About 13 minutes into the video (which had been thankfully very dull up to that point) police arrived with riot masks and sheilds and started hitting the gathered teachers with rubber batons.

I am uncertain from the uniforms if these are even police connected to the general ROP.

The violence was clearly unnecessary from the video footage.

And clearly UNCONDUCTIVE to whoever wanted these protesters gone because now, even teachers who DIDN'T think their contemporaries needed this salary raise will refuse to teach students until someone deals with the demands OR apologises and explains these rather extreme measures.

Teachers DID go to work in some of the effected schools to not appear as if in protest or on strike, but circumstances were explained to the students, and the students sent home.

Yes, please share the link or any information on this post please.

Designer Khaleeji Abaya Brands: Mauzan

2011-09-29T03:06:00.000-07:00

Visit http://www.mauzan.com/ for UAE store locations.

Changing the "InshaAllah" Mindset

2011-09-29T01:59:00.000-07:00

It is often thought that because of the inefficiency with which the services in Oman are delivered, that Omanis are lazy. Knowing Omanis well, I know there are lazy people in cultures everywhere, but this is a longstanding expat percieved belief of Omanis, first introduced by Brits who came here in the 1900s to make Oman a healthier and more productive place [I have met some longterm expat (explorers, adventurerers) and really, they are the most facsinating people and I enjoy their conversation]. I liked how Ian Gardiner, who served here during the Dhofar War in the 70s and wrote the book "In the Service of the Sultan: A first hand account of the Dhofar Insurgency" more correctly summed up how this reasoning incorrectly came about. Remember, he observed this in the 70s. The Omanis you likely interact with, came to be where they were after this period, but their parents and social fabric were woven long before and still effect to this day, no matter your age. Trust me. Especially those who have come from the villages on the weekend in any way at ALL even if they were raised in Muscat.

...Omanis, far from being indolent, simply had priorities which reflected the prevailing circumstances. It was a hot, poor country. Hard labour and rushing about was energy consuming and rarely cost effective. How much easier it is for us western Protestant capitalists to exert ourselves a little, knowing that by so doing we will see a directly related benefit in terms of money, goods, status, or fulfilment.

In their country, the lesson of life was that if you worked hard enough to plant and harvest your date palm and a keep a few goats, and if you were lucky, you could subsist at an acceptable level. Harder work did not guarantee any higher level of material satisfaction. There were no material goods to be had. There were no jobs, no industries, no universities or schools as stepping stones to wealth. More work only produced an incremental improvement- a few more goats or dates- not a quantam one, so the pressure to work just hard enough to achieve a sufficiency and no more was strong.

Fatalistic is not quite the right adjective, but certainly Omanis had a resigned approach to life which was sometimes difficult to move. Convincing them they could influence the course of events for the better if they tried harder, did things differently, or simply turned up, was not always easy. 'InshaAllah'- if God wills- was the frequent retort in response to a proposal for action. This drove some British people to distraction and they did not usuallly stay in the country long.

MOP, my husband, who was born just as these circumstances in Oman had the possibility to change under Sultan Qaboos, gets annoyed ALL THE TIME by things written on Sablah by those who can't remember what Oman was like before. He was fortunate to have had a father who was educated and fascinated with the world beyond Oman, but still wanted to keep the traditions of his village and not reject his culture. MOP is aghast at those who don't understand that to have what they have anywhere else, they'd have to pay taxes, work to pay for scholarships to higher education, ect. He knew when he was young, even though he prefers life in the village on the farm, that he'd have to do good in school to get a job as his country was changing. Farm life would not content or be enough eventually when this change came. The majority in his village? They didn't recieve the same emphasis on education. Not alot are education. Those that are, maintain and still see the way the government in Oman works, the way preindustrial pre-oil wealth Oman was, as a place where their efforts will not provide much advantage.

Linoleum Surfer wrote the truth in his last post [he got to know the real Omani culture and not alot of expats bother to or have the social means to]. Jobs for Omanis are limited. Too many attended IT training and there were not enough companies in Oman that needed their skills. Too many trained as engineers, and lacking the experience of expats from oversees and many other company-valued skills, were not given the best positions or chances to advance, or had Omani bosses that were not so skilled but scared of being replaced by someone more capable. MOP, besides blaming corruption by wasta (advancing one tribe and sabotaging another from within the Ministries) [which he admits, exists, as his tribe's rival tribe always seems to try and prevent him or his family from changing positions which he finds laughable but doesn't blame them entirely for because they used to do the same over water and farms only 40 years ago] blames the old Omani mindset about harder work, and the fact that the government's attempts to satisfy the desires of Omanis for improvement are often applied in a completely ineffective manner.

A friend of mine who is a blogger based in Jordan [link on sidebar- By the Fig & Olive], observed that Jordan's government manages similarily. In her example, Oman and Jordan both have undeniable bad driving to contend with, and its effects on society. Both want it gone, both make laws to try and circumvent it, but neither seem to know how. By the Fig & Olive: "There are police officers stationed on all the major roundabouts during the day, occasionally flagging down vehicles, but I find their choice of laws to enforce amusing and a little puzzling. Yes, talking on cellphones while driving is a hazard, but so is having eight feral children running around inside the car. Why not enforce seatbelt laws [for all passengers], or number of passengers, turn signal use, yeilding, or anything else, really. "

MOP finds the fact that some Omanis sit at home and get payouts from the government without legitimate disabilities disgusting. But at the same time, knowing there are not alot of jobs or their skills are not up to scratch he suggested the following to assure effort for change before giving such payouts. The hese hand-out recievers should do the following first:

a. Provide proof of having attended so many interviews during a handout period.

b. If they haven't attained a job during the interviews then they should be given training on how to write a resume, cover letter, and how to answer interview questions. [Omani schools have started to do this but for those who didn't finish school but are quite capable of learning skills on the job, or who came before this, or who were inadequately trained by the schools, this could help].

c. If after a year of this, still no work, additional training should be required in a particular skill that IS required by employers and provided by the government, instead of just a handout alone.

MOP suggested that if Omanis weren't willing to comply with these requirements, they didn't deserve a work handout at all for lack of jobs. His comments were not met happily on the Sablah forum he made them on at the time, but "InshaAllah" means that one is going to do something or it will happen unless God does something specific to deny it. It doesn't mean

doing laddy-da and hoping it magically changes or gets done [and preferably by someone else]. It is sad that this beautiful spiritual phrase has come to mean something different entirely by our expat population, isn't it, Omanis?

Medical Misdiagnosises in Muscat

2011-09-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

One of our fave OPNO girls, her father died here in Muscat because of a serrious medical misdiagnonsis which resulted in the rapid deteoration of his heart, a condition which could have been easily treated AND cured with the proper treatment. Speaking to some of the leading cardiologists from the States, the healthcare system in Oman should have been able to easily diagnose her father's condition. So why was his heart condition blamed on his weight (which was never a factor at all)? Our OPNO girl's family blamed their insurance, and how it limited them from attending more capable hospitals, such as the government Royal, and Sultan Qaboos University Hospital, until it was really too late. Drs. at the Royal Hospital were disgusted and immediately established the man's true condition, and confirmed that had it been properly diagnosed earlier, he would likely still be alive to this day.

In my own personal experience, having good insurance coverage, doesn't prevent simple misdiagnosises here in Muscat. I have had friends who could afford to go to any private clinic to treat even a simple ear infection given medecines that should never, EVER be prescribed together. Together, two of the medecines, seperately to treat an ear infection, could cause heart failure. Go figure. Thankfully for another friend who worked for medical supplies company in Muscat, who immediately recognized that the two medecines should never be taken simultaneously!

My own nightmare was heading to a good private establishment (as I worked in healthcare I won't name any place I still think decent despite some errors in treatment) with an emergancy requiring urgent treatment. Alas, while care is usually at an amazing level at this particular establishment around 9 am-until 10 pm, my emergancy was NOT within those golden hours. When I arrived there was no specialist doctor available so the nursing staff, rather than sending me to another healthcare facility, decided to consult the specialist by phone. The specialist prescribed some medications without asking me for any of my previous medical history. I read the side-effects verrrrrrrrry carefully. Also, what medications not take in addition to it. Didn't matter, I immediately felt something wrong with my heart rate and went back to the nurses. I tried to tell them that the medication must be effecting me in the wrong way and I don't think they took me serriosly at all, until that it, I passed out right on top of the nurse, LOL!!!!

At the time I wasn't laughing though, waking up as I did hooked up to oxygen and on a cardiac monitor.

Agreed upon by all the OPNO girls, the greatest factor contributing to medical misdiagnosis in Oman is the general disregard by doctors of patients' concerns. I had asked the nurses repeatedly to tell me what the medecine was for, what it did, why I should take it. I was basically told that they knew what was best for me, and I should take any tests and any prescriptions they and the phone-specialist recommended, and be grateful, whether or not these treatments made any logical sense. Good thing I didn't listen, and only took half the pill they had prescribed, because even that alone caused my blood pressure to drop so low, it nearly dropped me for good!

I have heard of one woman who looked up her symptoms on the internet, and decided that she had contracted HPV, so she went to the gynecologist and was told it was nothing related to HPV and was nothing to be concerned about. As it DID turn out to BE HPV, and HPV can cause cancer, it is a good thing this woman did not take the doctor's words to be that of God, as many doctors in Oman in my experience, seem to expect us too.

Yet another friend wanted treatment for foodpoisoning, and when she was told that there was no treatment beyond a stomache pump [which she wasn't sick enough to need---she knew already how to stay hydrated and was managing that], the clinic still wanted to run numerous tests which would serve no purpose other than cost money, and the reason for the tests was ridiculous, as the friend ALDREADY knew what was causing her symptoms.

I am absoluelty tired of doctors and nurses trying to make me get an injection for things I don't need, when a tablet would suffice. No one needs a glucose drip when they are in a healthy enough state that they can sip orange juice and eat a digestive biscuit. No one needs an iron injection when they can go to a pharmacy and buy iron supplement tablets. And I especially don't like healthcare establishments giving these prescriptions summarily, and bullying the patients into taking them, doctors unwilling to supply a rationalization for why they are necessary in the first place.

I suppose I am an awful patient for the random private clinic in Oman, but now having gone through a pregnancy here, I had one final shock to make me laugh at the joke of it all.

I was aghast when I was told it was required of me to get a tetnus shot/injection in case of a cesarion delivery to protect the baby. We don't do this in my country. Why? Because it is EXPECTED, assured, that the instruments used for cutting in surgery there will indeed, be of a clean enough nature, not to cause any such infection, like tetnus.

Scary, scary thought.

My doctor, knowing me as she does, did not try to force me, or stab me with a needle when I didn't expect it (like another poor friend) at least.

OPNO still on vacation!

2011-09-15T02:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers, so sorry for the lack of posts.
I am still on vacation, enjoying the weather by sitting out with tea and good book in my garden courtyard. I have a bunch of non-blog related projects on the go, including renovating a section of the yard, and converting a former guest room in the house into a nursery. Also, I think I would like to paint my kitchen and wallpaper the cabinetry, and hang some Mutrah-related art my husband found. [MOP has a new Year's goal of getting back into painting, as he used to paint when he lived in Muscat until marriage left him too busy for it but now he's got no excuses as I'll eventually go back to work ;)]. I recently bought a new oven which had inspired me to get into the kitchen again, and bake things I have recently reserved for expensive restaurant & dessert splurges [Laudre does deliver straight from Paris to Muscat divine macaroons but baked fresh nothing can beat them!] . Also, dear readers, I am on the lookout to buy a used-pram/baby stroller [newborn size] in good condition and of quality but I am on a budget. If you have one lying around you want to get rid of, leave your email and a description of the stroller/pram in the comments section or email a picture along with contact information and price to OPNOprincess@hotmail.com .

Some Snaps from the OPNO Eid #1: Horses in Oman

2011-09-15T02:36:00.000-07:00

For me personally, I can't live too far away from horses for too long.

Even the horses got dressed up for the Eid day where we were. Some of them were wearing more silver than me! While some took park in the traditional dances, others took to other leisurely pastimes....

The Ruins of Old Tanuf, and the tragedy of this water-rich mountain village

2011-08-24T22:20:00.000-07:00

Tanuf is the place the bottled water [Tanuf, Salsabel, & Jabal Akhdar) claims to be from, so I asked MOP to take me to the wadi there. I wanted to see water, and dip my toes, so to speak but the ruins of old Tanuf soon claimed my attention.Tucked against the base of the mountain right next to the wadi, the ruins of Old Tanuf are impossible to miss. This was once an important village in the Jebal Akhdar mountain range, as the crumbling structures bear testament to. But unlike the fabled ruins of many places in Oman such as the lost city of Ubhar sunk beneath desert sands, and others abandoned to Jinn and history, Tanuf was "lost" only recently in the long time-line of the Sultanate's history, and her ghosts are of a more tragic kind.

In case you may not know, Oman, and Muscat used to be two different countries pretty much. Oman was its own government since the time of the Prophet Mohammed [S.A.W] and remained such in the Interior of Oman up until the 1950s, and Muscat was ruled by the Said family (whom Sultan Qaboos hails from). Here in this place of Oman, the remembrance of Oman's Old Islamic Caliphate is still strong, and while Sultan Qaboos is well-liked, people often claim the Interior to be less friendly in terms of politics to Muscat, than the rest of Oman. Tanuf will tell you why. Old Tanuf was destroyed with several 1000 pound bombs by the British RAF in the mid 1950s under the orders of Sultan Sai'd bin Taymur. Some of the bombs are still there, as are the graves of the many non-militant women and children who were killed while in their homes. Some of those bravely attempting to route of the planes armed only with ancient rifles managed to escape using routes of the wadi behind to the safety of Sayq Plateau where the 1958-1959 Jebal Akdhar war was fought out. Two planes, shot down by some miracle during the Tanuf tragedy, have left their wreckage amid the mountains and what remains of the houses of Beni Riyam tribe.

One British family is still known by locals to visit Oman to visit the grave of the pilot buried closeby the wreckage of his downed plane.

The scene is haunting to me. Unlike the Dhofar War in the 70s, Tanuf was no hot-bed of communist rebellion. Ibadhi Muslims of the Beni Riyam tribe that were here rejected communism, and under Sheikh Suleyman, also rejected the authority of Muscat's Sultan Taymur as legitamate in the region. While Sultan Qaboos is well-liked (afterall, he overthrew his father) there is still something that remains in this part of the Akdhar range.

I am always highly offended whenever I read that the Interior is less-hospitable, less open than other parts of Oman, as guests and hospitality have always been facets of life out this way. Christian missionaries and doctors always maintained good friendships with Imams of the Interior, and it really does sicken me to read old British (by way of the 60s) books referring to these places of Oman as "regions of warring Imbreds", which make the Akdhar and Nizwa areas seem somehow less accessible than anything they are. It was old Muscat (i.e Oman) under Sultan Taymur that was closed to the outside world, nothing from the Interior, which always welcomed travellers. It makes me think of propoganda and all its effects.

The majority of tourists out this way are British, German, Dutch, and French, and all seem to be made just as welcome as I have always been. Tanuf is beautiful. Many come to see the wadi, the water, and the old falaj running through the ruins of old Tanuf. But for me, there will always be something sad about old Tanuf, something hard to grasp at. I am happy to see the new Tanuf propsering, and that the spirit of the Beni Riyam tribe surrvives.

Muscat Brands: Daazia

2011-08-17T03:03:00.000-07:00

I'm all about supporting local artists and designers and I just stumbled across Omani brand Daazia via facebook. I lost the link to their website but if anyone knows it please leave it in the comments section, thank you!

My photos: Minarets from Oman part 1

2011-08-17T02:43:00.000-07:00

Nizwa Mosque. Sultan Qaboos Grande Mosque.

Barka Mosque.

Little Mosque near fish souq on Mutrah Corniche.

Ras Al Hamra Mosque adjacent PDO housing.Another Barka Mosque. The Shiite Mosque near the Mutrah souq. Such pretty colours!

More Ramadan Decorating Ideas from www.ramadanchallenge.com

2011-08-09T04:37:00.000-07:00

I am bloglovin' the sisters over at http://www.ramadanchallenge.com/ for their printable templates, recipes, and craft and activity ideas for children. Cute idea for Eid morning. Cute craft project for the kids, paper lantern. Ramadan card---cute little Masjid/Mosque. Pretty!!!! She has a pattern for these cute Ramadan tea cosies;) [make well before Ramadan]. More paper garland patterns.

If you would like to share any of your decorating ideas for Eid or Ramadan please send them to OPNOprincess@hotmail.com

Eid ul-Fitr---the 3 days after Ramadaan---what is it and how is it celebrated in Oman?

2011-08-08T05:11:00.000-07:00

There are two Eids in Oman---the one that is coming up: Eid ul-Fitr, the one at the end of Ramadaan, so I thought I'd write a post about Eid ul-Fitr just to explain what it is, and what is done for it in Oman, in case anybody staying in Oman was curious or chance is invited to participate in the holiday. Both Eids are Islamic Holidays, and Eid ul-Fitr is a 3 day holiday that always begins with the end of Ramadaan. Eid means "holiday/festivity" and "ul-Fitr" means "original/best nature". So it is a holiday Muslims celebrate, as they are supposed to be morally, spiritually, intellectually, and physically improved since fasting the month of Ramadaan.
In Oman for Eid, we keep the Islamic tradition of waking well before sunrise and puting on new, or our best clothes. As we do so we are supposed to put aside any old resentments, and be thankful to God/Allah. In our village usually 3 days of new clothes are purchased before the start of Ramadaan to be worn for Eid ul-Fitr, and the clothes are usually of a traditional Gulf nature, either Omani, or GCC in style, but in Muscat my friends wore anything from the same to Western clothing from Monsoon, ect to Morrocan traditional dress. We women usually put on our favourite jewelry, as well as painting our hands and feet with henna. The men wear their dishdashes along with their khanjar daggers and carry the assa sticks. Many will perfume themselves, and will take a small meal, as in Islam, fasting is forbidden for the day of Eid. In our village the traditional meal we eat on this day is called "Harees" made from rice and chicken. This is also the time, that if anyone has not paid the charitable tax that they owe for the poor on any of their property that falls under the jurisdiction of savings, wealth, or gold (called "zakat"), they must pay it. Before sunrise it is part of Islamic tradition for both men and women to go out for prayer before the sun rises, and pray it together. Even those who are unable to pray come out for the prayer. In our village while all the people come out for the prayer, only the men pray it, which is part of Omani culture, not Islam. I will pray it. I am Muslim before I am Omani. After the prayer a lecture called a khutbah is said aloud and every Muslim is supposed to stay to listen. It is a tradition to take one route to the prayer, and a different one away from it, saying a prayer as one goes to and from the congregational prayer ground.Eid is a time that singing is permitted, and children visit and play. Usually we women sit inside and visit with eachother in our nicest or newest clothes, while the men go outside to cut an animal, in our village, usually a cow, goat, or sheep. This part is an Islamic practice, but the foods made from the meat is an Omani tradition for Eid unique to the region.After the meat is cut, it is divided into sections, one section for the men to keep, for the "shua", and one section for the women for the "mishakeek", some of the men season their section of meat, wrap it in banana leaves and then bags made from date palm (or aluminum foil) and carry it to the place for making the "shua".After the shua meat is ready for cooking, the men go to the place reserved for cooking the shua, and burn wood in the hole for the shua, until hot coals are left, and they lightly cover this with sand, but not enough to put the coals out.The bags of the seasoned shua meat are lowered into the pit, and then buried underground where they will be left to cook overnight or for one day.While the men are doing this, usualy we women change into less formal clothes, and the cut the meat we have been given, and prepare it for lunch.We make it into kebabs called "mishcock" ["mishakeek" plural], and season them. Men that are not in charge of preparing the shua, then cook the mishakeek.For lunch on the first day of Eid we usually enjoy the mishakeek. mmmmm yum (as I write this I am fasting so Eid seems like such a nice thing to envision lol).During the Eid it is a time that alot of us share food, and give optional extra charity (different than the charity tax due by the end of Ramadaan).In our village, money is given to those in need, women, and children. Children collect usually a huge score of rials and baisa notes in Oman. They enjoy walking to the store to purchase toys and candies in the early evening of every Eid day in our village.On the second Eid day we usually eat more mishakeek or the shua meat with rice for the lunch and mass visiting begins.Every house we visit, usally fruit, coffee, and sweets are offered. Whenever I visit in Muscat I am overwhelmed with nuts, chocolates, and of course Patchi. I always make sure to wear shoes that are easy to take on and off for this day! The traditional gretting is "Eid Mubarak" or "Eid Sa'eed",: 1. Eid Congratulations, 2. Happy Eid. Finally, for the 3rd day of Eid, in our village there are traditional dances and songs preformed, and some traditional games for the girls. That is pretty much Eid ul-Fitr as I know it in my regions of Oman;)

Designer Khaleeji Abaya Brands: Slouchy Z

2011-08-02T14:32:00.001-07:00

2010 collection abayas:They also design jalabiyias: I like a few of the newer styles with bright embroidery, and some of the fabrics used in the panel sleeves are lush. My favourite in the collection is the first one pictured in this post. Available from www.slouchyz.com

Examples of Eid Dresses

2011-08-02T06:39:00.000-07:00

These are examples of "jalabiyias" the colourful and often highly decorative robes (sometimes fitted in places) many Muslim women choose to wear as house dresses for special occasions, such as the Eid Holiday, following Ramadaan. Along with Omani traditional dress, and Western fashions, and sometimes other Arab regional dresses such as Morrocan caftans (takchita) these are what many Omani women opt to wear for Eid or have made at the tailor.

It is an Eid custom to wear new clothes for the day, and your nicest [but ladies, not in front of the men you are not related to;)].

How and If to "Maid" when one has to.....

2011-08-02T05:12:00.001-07:00

In the New Year I may have to get a maid (which I am really, really against doing). I will be the first OPNO to have a baby, and I am a worker not a stay-at-home type. Though I am happy every day that I was given a husband who gives me the choice of both, and doesn't think less of me for either or try to force either role on me.

While I do enjoy extra time off, I get bored of my house. My mind needs something new daily. I feel like I've fallen out of current events, and lost half my intelligence (and strangely, I accomplish alot less around the house with all this spare time, than I did when I was working. I guess when I had a schedule I managed to squeeze in alot more. Now I am always like, well, I have time for that tomorrow....).

Maybe I will change my mind if the baby really needs me? I don't know.

And also, I have debt from before I was a Muslim I really need to pay, and don't feel too comfy asking my husband for anything like that, as it was my sin, ect, I should be the one to clear it up. And while I know my husband will spoil me anything I ask for within reason of what he can afford (and sometimes more than that, as he's worse at banking than I am) that makes me feel like I am 12 years old again, like I have to keep in mind how much that new dress I want costs ect, whereas, if it were my own money, I wouldn't have to care about running out of grocery funds or gas ect, or the fact that I just bought something nice and expensive, and my husband wears the same dishdasha 5 times a week without complaint and his coworkers tease him about his car whose door that won't open from the inside. Yeah, don't want to be that "dalal" girl [dalal means "spoiled", which means a good thing in Arabic but my Western mind can't wrap my head around that yet] who is oblivious to all that.

So. If I go to work, I will have to get a maid. There is no such thing as daycare where we live, and while there are schools for children of speaking age, for babies, nada. Also, there really aren't any partime maids around where we live. I think I am the only woman in the tribe (beyond those who are financially struggling) who doesn't have a maid, and doesn't want one.

Why do I not want one?

Oh so many reasons.

Firstly, not all maids are good. And not all people who have maids (or who associate with those who have maids) are good. I don't want anyone I know to deal with an employee of mine in a way that I think is injust or rude or abusive, yada yada yada.

My family has had maids that stole, hit the children, brought strange men into their houses, ect. This is rare but happens, and my husband would freak Omani style (a reaction I'd not support so we'd be fighting over what happens to a bad maid even if I didn't like the bad maid), ect. The most common thing is, is gossip. Maids talk to other maids, and family news goes through the whole tribe ect., and I am already an oddity without anything of this kind stemming from my house lol.

I also have family that force non-Muslim maids to wear the headscarf, and limit their freedom of movement, and what they can do on their days off. My maid would have all the rights I'd expect anyone working for me or with me to have, but I know people from the tribe would be like "why doesn't she wear a headscarf, blah blah", not understanding the hijab properly themselves or what rights non-Muslims, even employees, have.

All such hassles I don't want in my life.

So I was thinking of what my add for the perfect maid would like exactly. Here's what I came up with.

Omani/English Muslim family looking for a full-time maid, for care of 1 small baby, and occasional cooking and washing of dishes. English language required, and Arabic will be beneficial. Religion is not a requirement, but respect for our Islamic faith is. Mother works during the day and requires fulltime care of infant from Saturday-Wednesday 7 am-6pm, and cooking and clean up after that. Position affords 2 days off in a row, and paid holidays (to be negotiated at interview). Help with cooking and cleanup (dishes), will be required on most working days to feed family of 3 for lunch and dinner. Maid will have a furnished room [and I mean furnished with a bed, a locking wardrobe, a dressing table/nightstand, air conditioner et all and a key for privacy, not an ironing board, sleeping mat, and washing machine] and while she will recieve the standard salary for her position, if the family is satisfied monthly with her work ethic, she will be alloted a bonus, to be paid at her selected holiday. Must be gentle and caring with children, self-motivated, and adhere to house rules when within our home. This means, she is not to bring any guests into the home without recieving approval from her employer first, even on her days off if she chooses to stay at the house during her days off, cannot bring alcohol or drugs into the home, and of course stealing of any kind will not be tolerated. Any case where she is suspect of the previous, she will be paid what salary she is owed, and her employment terminated. She must wear clothing that meets the working requirements of her employer [to be provided by the employer] while residing within the house or leaving the house for work reasons within working hours, but this does not include the headscarf for any non-Muslim candidate applying for the position, or pertain to any of her non-working hours spent outside the residence of her employment.

*Husband requires maid to be of mature age and/ or married, as he has had bad experiences with friend's and family's younger maids hitting on him, but wife says this is not necessary, for if she hears one word from her husband about any prospective maid doing any such thing, employer will a. kick maid's butt, b. give maid what salary is owed, c. send her packing. So do not apply if any male family member could cause you trouble in this regard, any prospective applicants. If you want help getting married, we'll advise you, but we won't support or tolerate any kind or immodesty or immoral behaviour within our family.*

----Really that's about it. I don't really need a maid beyond taking care of baby while I am working, and feeding husband dinner and lunch if I am late, and saving me the leftovers. I won't work weekends so I won't need baby care, and should be able to manage doing my own dishes twice a week and the rest of the house chores like laundry, ironing, and cleaning the floors and bathrooms.

Sigh... not what I want but something I have to think about I guess.

Anybody else have any suggestions of what to add to my maid-requirement list, or have a solution for me other than hiring live-in help??????

Ramadaan is here:)

2011-08-02T00:16:00.000-07:00

I know we're a bit late saying this, but Ramadaan Kareem:).

Just loved blogger "the linoleum surfer"'s latest post on cultural GCC fasting. Nothing to do with the ISLAMIC holiday at all but a totally enjoyable read nonetheless. Thank you TLS.

Ramadaan in our homes? For the Muslim OPNOs, Ramadaan means setting the alarm for 3 am and getting up to make a breakfast. Some eat simple Khaleeji/GCC breakfasts: milk, dates, some fruit, maybe a cheese on some bread, and others go all out with pancakes and eggs and toast and all that. OPNOs recommend fresh fruit, a small peice of meat, some dates, and lotsa, lotsa water.

By around 4 am all eating stops. So if one got up late, well your screwed. No water or food for you until after sunset, and fasting becomes a hell of alot harder.

At this time we pray. If we are men, we go to the Mosque for this. As none of the OPNOs are dudes, we don't. Islam is kind to women. It lets us get away with more. Usually we pray in the house while any male relatives go to the Mosque (we are allowed to go to, but choose not to) and then crawl back into bed and sleep until it is time to get up. The guys will sleep if they have time left when they come home. But they get less time, ha ha ha. I know, I am mean, but this always amuses me.

If we work, we got to the office. We do our jobs. We don't take sick leaves or what nots unless we are really, really ill. Lying breaks your fast same as eating does.

After work, we go home. Or to friends houses, depending who is making dinner to break the fast.

If we don't work, we might try to bake deserts or any cooking item that takes longer, or run errands like going to the store. We might work on hemming Eid dresses, cleaning, ect, things hard to do at night with guests, and if we have time, we try to listen to Islamic lectures on the television, or read Islamic books, and study the Quran. We do not drive like dangerous idiots on the road and we try to remind the dangerous idiots we are friends with to be careful if we are riding with them. Hurting another person or their property is a sin in Islam. Committing sins while fasting kind of makes the fast POINTLESSSSSSSSSSSS.

If we have kids, we might try to make the time special for them and not make it all a chore about not eating and drinking. For the littlest ones we've made colouring pages for them, and the older ones cut cute paper decorations, or do fun games like quizzes and contest to learn about Islamic history or memorize some Qu'ran. I love when my neices like to read Qu'ran for me, or sing me Islamic songs which they make cute dances to.

We pray all the prayers, and try to do some extra ones when we have the time to. That means our head touches the prayer mat AT LEAST 3 times in the morning, 4 times in around 12 pm, 4 times around 3:30, before anything to do with the fast. If anyone IS tired, they will have a short nap only after the 3:30 prayer. 1 really, really really amazing OPNO [not the one compiling this alas], Allah bless her, spends her spare time going around collecting food for poorer families, and getting cash donations to buy their kids new Eid dresses and toys, and maybe help these families out with repairs to their home or vehicle ect. She also volunteers to cook some of those amazing iftars served at the Mosques for the workers whose salaries might not afford them a great healthy meal after fasting all day. I only wish the rest of us had her energy, and heart, may God make us all better.

Come around 7 o clock pm: At the time to break the fast we lay out some food. When the call to prayer is called most OPNOs break their fast with a glass of water and some dates and say a little prayer to ask God to accept their fast. They tend not to gorge themselves just yet as they still have to do all the prayer motions and no one wants to throw up a dozen samboosas, 20 peices of basboosa, and have rice hanging out their noses when they hit the prayer mat. I sneak at least one or 2 samboosas, as I am starving by this time. After eating, we go the washroom, and rinse our mouths. Then we go to pray (almost always in the home unless we are breaking our fast at the Mosque). Then our heads hit the prayer mat another 3 times (at least). Then we go to eat.

We eat probably too much, traditional Arabic foods being the most common fare, but OPNOs adding whatever they were craving during the day into the mix. Usually we avoid overeating though, because we still have to pray 1 more time.

During this time there is the most visiting and socialising. We avoid saying anything bad about anybody else or showing off.

At around 8 o clock pm, most of the OPNOs drive to the Mosque to offer their prayers, and then they stay for a reading of the Quran, called Taraweeah prayers. Those who do not go to the Tarweeah prayers (where the goal is to read the whole Qu'ran during the month), go home, and try to study the Qu'ran or read from it, or memorize it. After taraweeah time, most OPNOs eat some more, then offer their last prayer of the night (called Witr) and then sleep, well before 11 pm. Because they know they are going to want to be up at 3 am to make sure they get their snack and hydration on before the next fast on, the following morning.

That is the OPNO Ramadaan, a bit different than the cultural one in TLS' post.

Khaleeji Designer Abaya Brands: Malaak

2011-07-26T12:16:00.000-07:00

While I don't love them all (that is a sign of high-fashion is it not) I think they kind of remind me of a cross between Balenciaga and Dior (Christian-not Galliano), and I have a few definately wearable picks. It is something to say you are wearing the Balenciaga-of-abayas is it not?

Sporty Dibaj Abaya I am loving

2011-07-26T11:59:00.000-07:00

I want to start running again this Winter. I used to go jogging ALL the time but stopped when I moved here (as women don't walk here, let alone run). But this sporty front open abaya inspires me. I can see myself getting active again in some cute harem pants (in jersey fabric) and this abaya.

Having a Good Weekend?

2011-07-26T11:31:00.000-07:00

I hope all the lovely readers here are having a good weekend.

I am happy Ramadaan is coming though I may or may not be able to fast due to health issues. I will try anyways. Still haven't done any Eid shopping but I'll check out the Seeb Exhibition Center (tonight was ladies night---should have gone but I didn't know about it).

This week I drove up to Seeb. Bought mishakeek, sat on the beach (really, the Seeb mishakeek is too salty for my tastes, Al Athaiba is better). Lovely breezy night. Love the Corniche. Love that all the local women wear their lendli/wael outside (those colorful Omani house dresses) sans abaya as the sun is setting. Love the waves on the sand. Also love that the Seeb Lulu sells everything I need to make Mexican food, unlike the other Lulus.

We were planning on checking out a movie but the nothing we wanted to see was on, so we rented a movie, and bought some popcorn, and headed to my place.

I bought a new Narcissus/narjis plant from the garden center in Seeb and it smells lovely in the yard. Nice to sit outside at night, sip some chai/tea and smell jasmine and nacissus.

The small joys of living in Oman.

What are your small joys here?