Wednesday, January 8, 2014

My maid ran away in Muscat... and why I am happy about that, in the end

Don't take this to be your typical "complaining about maids" scenario. Read on. As our housemaid nanny recently ran away after stealing 300 OMR from a friend who was staying with me, and then tried to lie and say she was beaten by me to maid agency where we had hired her from, I was mocked by one friend woman girl I used to know, about my former stance on housemaids.

So, has anything changed in my opinion about housemaids?

No, definately not. I still feel I am perfectly right about how to humanely treat someone I hire to work for me. I don't think I should treat another human being "strict" or "mean" or ask them to do more work than I would be willing to do under their same circumstances for the same wage. I also do not think we should be all racist (like some) and claim Ethiopians are dirty, liars, untrustworthy, ect... simply because one person holding that passport happened to be untrustworthy in the circumstance I shall elaborate upon herein.

I was saddened that she claimed I beat her. I felt betrayed, devastated. I don't know why. I was always fighting for her rights as relatives wanted me to impose different rules and work and social norms upon her. I am the last person who would ever strike an employee unless that employee was an actual relative (relatives and family have different rules when it comes to my anger management handbook). She had seen me strike a close friend I had considered like a relative, a best friend, and I guess was going with that? While I may be hard on myself, my husband, and my sister, and probably my daughter too one day when she's big enough to be accountable for her mistakes (I see too many brats running around while their parents are careless in this part of the world), staff are staff. They don't depend on me for anything but their salary so what they do outside of work I don't care, and in work, if they screw up, they get fired that's it.

Stealing would mean a plane ticket back to her home country. Not a big deal to me, since it isn't a whole lot out of my pocket.

Slapping is not really to anyone's advantage. Although {I WAS ANGRY} I did consider scaring her with the ROP (but then, since I knew a housemaid who had been abused by police, I didn't end up doing that either). I was mad but I didn't want to hurt her. {Maybe scare her a little since I was mad but a maid in our family did get beaten for lying by her maid agency and it made me mad}.

Why did she run away then?

Well, the fact was, she was hired as a nanny. My daughter is old enough now she doesn't need a nanny. While I am at work, she can go to daycare. We required less and less from her her since most of our houseguests had left and I had more time to be a wife and mother.

So we asked her (probably a mistake) if she wanted to go back home or is she wanted to work still.

She claimed she wanted to work still so we went to the office where we had hired her from to ask if they could find her a new family. The office said no way, they don't do that, that we would have to find her a new family ourselves.

So we told her this. Asked her again if she still wanted to work in Oman and if so that meant my husband would find a family that would pay her the same as we did (which was hard, because no one wanted to no matter her experience because of her passport).

We planned to charge the new family 300 OMR upfront (half the maid office fee) which we would hold unto for three months trial so she could tell us if she liked the new family. I wanted to make sure that nothing like that tragic article about the maid raped and dumped in the desert featured in Y magazine ever happened. I would then give her the 300 OMR. I'd already gotten the service she owed me, and after one year I owed her a plane ticket or the cost of one at least. I don't like the feeling of trading human beings for cash you know? My Omani husband said it was a normal practice in our situation for families but that was my final decision. She'd get any money from her new family. You couldn't say "want a housemaid for free" because then people would think she was bad or something, or a theif.

Sadly for her, that isn't how it all worked out.

I guess she thought we were lying, and planned to sell her off to the highest bidder or something (and I could totally understand and forgive that if she hadn't lied about me beating her) so she stole 300 OMR cash from a houseguest, wired it to her "uncle" who turned out to be her husband [she lied and said she was a widow], and went to the office, claimed I beat her, and told them to find her a new family.

The office phoned us and told us that they could get the police to take her to the airport and cancel her visa so she couldn't work in the GCC for a long while. Or we could find another family who would want to hire a lying thief. Which would probably not be a nice family.

My husband found another family. They paid us 300 OMR and she agreed to work for them for only 45 OMR a month+food+rent, when we had paid her 75 plus 5 OMR for phone+phone+rent+food. At our home she had her own room and a four poster bed. At their home she sleeps on the floor with four children to mind and no space fo her own plus all the cooking and housework to do.

Somehow, because of that, I can't stay mad at her. I don't like to own anything I can't afford to lose. She's the one who lost really. She could have had a sinless 300 OMR and a better life, with a better salary and better situation but a better planner exists than any schemer.

What I mean to say though is this, I can live without a housemaid, don't like to have 'em, don't think most people need them. But if the need was upon me again, I wouldn't do a single thing differently.

I believe I should treat people right even if in the end they do me wrong. I can afford to lose a maid or money. What I can't afford to lose is my character, my ideals, my humanity... And I've seen girls like me who've lost that over maids, villas, and GCC cultures.

A maid is a person, human. Many people will lie cheat or steal if their situation is terrible enough I suppose. That isn't my business, that's between them and their Creator. My own character and actions, that is my business. I can say I need to work on my anger when it comes to what I am passionite about, like family, true friendship, right and wrong, or my word choice under frustration. While I would never steal, or lie to hurt anyone's reputation BUT my own;) I shouldn't judge someone because they sin a little different than me.

I won't believe the racism of 'don't hire Ethiopian' . Everyone in my family have Ethiopian housemaids and some of the girls are lovely. In Islam we don't judge someone on their skin, their tribe, their nation, and the Qu'ran tell us intentions are for Allah alone to judge so who is any one to say about any given person that they are more prone to steal or kill babies ect... Just because one maid stole and lied doesn't mean the next one will.

And even if she does, you can call me stupid, but it ain't never gonna be something I can't afford to lose. Because I truly believe that if I treat another person good, I'll get that good back even if it is in another form.

THE OTHER FORM:

-WHAT DID I LOSE?: 1 nanny/housemaid, 300 OMR owed due a friend now, and nothing much else.

+WHAT DID I GET?: More time with my family, privacy, more attention from my daughter even I am being strict so she won't just run off to the nicer one, 300 OMR minus the visa change cost, and what I wanted anyways, for her to find a new home and get what she deserved.

I only wished that she deserved what I had wanted for her instead of what she wanted for herself... but you can't be everyone's mama now can you?

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

You paid her OMR75 a month?? Or just over OMR 2 a day? No wonder these people disappear with your money.

confused why your friends all deleted you from their lives said...

My own character and actions, that is my business. I can say I need to work on my anger when it comes to what I am passionite about, like family, true friendship, right and wrong, or my word choice under frustration. While I would never steal, or lie to hurt anyone's reputation BUT my own;) I shouldn't judge someone because they sin a little different than me. End quote o.k. so why did you make a entirely different blog about Sister Alia creepily calling it "saving alia"?

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

confused: I have plenty of friends, and only two people I actually knew in real life had ended friendships with recently. The others are deleted because they were people known only through social media who don't really know me.

I have friends enough lol. Real ones.

I never made any site up about Aalia. I don't follow her life like others seem to. She and I had drifted apart around when I moved to Oman and had a public fight, which anonymous people tried to instigate, and I've never been anonymous about what I think concerning all that. That was all almost four years ago now?

As far as Aalia told me, and we don't talk anymore, so you'd best be consulting her, the IP address for that site was located in North America. She said her ex husband made it up, I don't know?

As far as saving her, since I had known her in Emirates, she seems to have saved herself just fine and made a better/happier life for herself in Saudi now, so I don't know, maybe ask her about that?

If she says it was "pixie" it simply wasn't. I always was curious who it was because I believed they were attacking my old blog as well, but then, maybe not. I don't hate her. I don't like how she acts/reacted sometimes, but I harbour no ill will.

I believe some women have to save themselves, and if there's anything I learnt from the friends gone form my life, is you can't help someone who doesn't want help, and I don't mean Aalia;) since you seem to know tiny details about the situation.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Anonymous: I agree, the wages are terrible but here is the breakdown in case you never have lived in the GCC:

In my housemaid's village back in Ethiopia the average salary she could earn was less than 25 OMR a month.

That is why she came her to work.

In Oman, the average salary for her passport is 40-45 OMR a month. Terrible wage, but double what she earns back in her country and enough to support her whole family AND save for a house, she told me, so she was perfectly content with it.

I paid her 75+5 so 80. No one I could find was willing to pay an Ethiopian that, sadly, which is bad, racist, and a whole lot of ugly things.

The average wage in Oman if your passport is Phillipino is 100-150 OMR.

Please count into the fact that you don't need to buy anything for yourself as a housemaid ect... your rent, electricity, food, clothing, and toileteries are all paid outside your salary usually, so it works out to more than that per day.

I think everyone should be paid more, but as I said, what she wanted as per her situation.

She didn't need to support a family in the West. She needed to make a living for Ethiopia.

And if it was all about salary, obviously she could have just told me and I would have tried to find her a better situation or send her back to her family. Now, she makes even less money, so I don't think salary is the reason she ran away, logically, do you still?

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Self-righteous anon: I agree, gettting angry won't help ANY situation {but it is my right to hold my family to a different standard than employees and since you are not one of them you simply don't get a say on that, it is their business, not yours, and as I said in this post, beside the point of the post}but being judgemental about my issues, is just your love of drama and backbiting now ain't it?

I don't really have time for anonymous people not brave enough to talk in person;)

So, if your comments aren't actually about this blog post [housemaids ect], email me . I WILL reply to you there.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

JUST TO CLARIFY: the purpose of this post is that people should not discriminate against a certain nationality, or force a maid to do more work, or treat them worse, in order to get a better / happier relationship as employer and employee with housemaids in the GCC.

Which is the advice I had been given by friends, family, and coworkers.

And moral of the story is, being nice, never actually causes harm even if it seems to at first.

{This post is not about me personally, or people I used to be friends with and now disagree strongly with}

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

and confused: check the IP address of the saving aalia blog and check the IP of where at least 10 of these blog posts or the Beautiful Muslimah blog have been posted from, because the OPNO girls use only three computers and 1 cell phone.

None of us wrote that piece of crap loser blog "saving aalia".

I left a comment ON the blog telling the loser off once. That's about it.

If I blogged about my former friends, and I'm not the kind of person who would do that, I know everything bad they ever did, as they do with me. If I was a backbiting person, my blog about them would be so wicked mean (lol, as they could do with me too so), nothing like 'saving aalia' which is like the attempt of someone who doesn't really know Aalia that well to say something (more like infer) something bad about her? You know what I mean?

I think that is proof enough "Pixie had nothing to do with that. I don't backbite people and I am never "anon" if I want to say something to someone I know in real life.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

anonymous no wonder they run away:

I was curious so I worke dout the costs in case you were curious as well:

Basic salary= 80 OMR equivalent 207 USD

Rent= 100 OMR equivalent 259.70 USD (we didn’t charge her and she didn’t share except when we had a guest and that guest PAID her and her room was not a dingly little maid’s room, it was our majlis, which we had considered renting out for 150 OMR per month).

Food= 50 OMR equivalent 129.85 USD (again, she wasn’t charged, and we’d buy stuff that just she ate whenever we could afford to)

Clothes and toiletries: 10 OMR equivalent 25.97 USD (this wasn’t purchased every month, so it would be high one month and then low for the next two so this is an average).

Electricity and water+ 8 OMR= 20.77 USD (again, not charged but she definitely used)

=roughly 643.17 USD

The average days in a month are 30.41 and our maid usually (if she chose we would drive her to visit her friends and even spend the night with them) had 4 days off a month but sometimes more. Like I said, near the end I was watching my daughter and I didn't like her to clean.

So we’ll overestimate and say she worked 26.41 days a month. Which means she got paid 24.35 USD roughly a day. Not two OMR = to like 6 something USD?

Now, the average monthly salary in Ethiopia after tax is $190 USD> don’t believe me, google it. And that is for a civil job, not the kind of salary someone from an impoverished background usually makes. Who then has to pay rent {she told us she paid 40 USD the house she rented back home with her son}, buy food, clothes, electricity and water -20.82USD, and toiletries with that.

Compare that even with just a housemaid’s basic salary of 207---where she doesn’t have to spend anything on rent, or food or clothes ect… It is purely her savings, and likely goes towards her children’s education and food and rent and medicine ect. back home. I am sure she saves 150 of every salary and the rest went to cover her son's cost of living along with her husband's since even he didn't make that in their country.

I agree, it is unfair someone Philipino will get paid more than her, but salary had nothing to do with why she left since, now she gets paid even less, has not room of her own, works more days, and does more work.

But if I work out MY cost living here in Oman, I only have 250 USD every month of BASIC SALARY too, so I don't know why you seem so incensed. Most of my salary goes to rent, transportation, food, and water and electiricty.

She had more money for phone credit than me every month;) and bought herself a nicer {smart} phone than I bought myself.

Just that to consider.

Anonymous said...

It's not backbiting, because you brought it up in your own post. You said "She had seen me strike a close friend I had considered like a relative, a best friend". Now everyone knows you physically attacked your own friend, from your own PUBLIC admittance. And it's self-righteous to tell you to fear Allah and that you have no right to put your hands on someone? That's common sense. You have NO right. You can excuse it all you want by saying it's not "anyones business", but if I were that friend, I would have pressed charges on you immediately. What kind of Muslim are you ? And don't talk about Aalia. All you do is backbite her. Just like how you were telling her EX everything about her life when she was trying to hide from him. You are a snake.

ps- keep talking about how much you hate wasta when all you do is use it and threaten other people with it.
no wonder you left Canada.

naseehah ismail said...

I find myself in the exact same situation.I try to treat my domestic helpers aswell well as possible don't overwork them , give them weekends off etc. But I find myself really dissapointed when that just leave without saying they not coming back and also when they take advantage of my kindness by not taking work seriously taking days off whenever they feel like. But I always tell myself that I don't treat them well just for them to do the same in return but I do so because it's the right thing to do and that is what Allah wants me to do. I don't look at them as lowly or anything like that I believe just like any person with a job they to have a job too .just because they cleaning houses for living does not mean they are stupid or less of a being. In most cases they circumstances push them into the jobs that they do.At the end of the day I think you are right we should not let people who are dishonest or let us down change how we are or how we want to be regardless we should all strive to still be better. Lastly pixie I'm sure u are a good person that always tries to do the right thing and I don't think you should explain yourself to the judgemental comments . They probably do not fully understand the situation but just want to make nasty comments.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Dear Anonymous: I don't do wasta, I help friends who deserve helping IF they can/are qualified/ are willing to work for what oppurtunity or if they need legal help I can intorduce them. That isn't wasta.

What I mean by "it isn't about this post", is, that it is a side topic. If anyone wants to say I abused anyone, I can count the people who COULD say that to be, my husband, my little sister, and this friend. It is a side topic to say how the accusation by my employee was false.

Why it would be none of your business is that this friend claimed to me and everyone else here that she forgave me. WHy? Because I apologized. I admit it was wrong. I wouldn't do it again in the same situation. As she obviously hasn't truly forgiven me, if she wants to come back to Oman and press charges, she can, all I can do is say sorry. I am sorry I hit her, but I am also sorry I thought she was a friend. I am sorry I invited her to live with me, I am sorry I got my husband to have to deal with her ex-husband to start on a legal process to get her a divorce, I am sorry. Maybe if we never helped with that, then she wouldn't have been in a crazy panic situation, where I thought {wrongly of course} slapping her would get her to wake up and deal with it all? I am sorry I wasted my husband's (and my co-wife's) time taking her to hospitals. I am sorry that my husband paid the last of her hotel bill, her grocery bill, her utility bill, and anything higher than she could afford to pay on taxi fare [even after we weren't friends anymore]. I am sorry I asked my friends to get her a job. I am sorry anything bad happened to her while she was here, I truly do wish her sucess, and happiness. But I am sorry, I don't wish to wish anything else but that for her. I don't trust her anymore, and I don't like Aalia anymore because of how she treated me over this person. If that makes me a horrible person, I am perfectly content being horrible.

I never told Aalia's ex husband {the Emirati one} ANYTHING about her. And I never knew the {Saudi} one that came after him. While I met the husband she has now {also Saudi}, only MY husband has spoken to him. Who called the Emirati ex?

She (the friend I slapped) phoned him FROM Oman, when Aalia was living here, and I was in Canada.

Aalia's ex husband phoned me after he recieved a phone call from the friend I slapped.

He asked me what was going on.

I told him, I am not there {in Oman} right now. And "sorry". If the Canadian phone company would give it to me, I could even get the phone records to prove that and exactly what I said. I believed something was wrong with Aalia, but we were still friends at that point, until the friend she was rooming with in Oman told me what was happening over there.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Comment cont): We had a public fight then{aalia and I}, and later made up. Aalia then went to Canada, and I moved here to Oman for good. Moving away had nothing to do with anyone saying anything about me at the time. Ask MY ex if you don't believe me.

It had to do with the fact that I had to leave any foolish hope of making an attempt at marriage work with my ex {Saudi} husband [easier to do by just starting over], and also, being harassed almost daily by neo-nazis who simply hate Muslims. The Muslim community I never even dealt with going back, beyond Han., Abe., and Sar. {shortened names for their privacy} and only Sar. knew anything at all about the friend I slapped, Aalia, or myself. I NOW {sorry Sar.} no longer think she was responsible {and even Im' Ham.--sorry I suspected you} for creating the website about Aalia. I don't know who is, but they aren't me, Sar. and probably not Im' Ham.... As I said before, that website is too mean... but far too vague, to have been me if I was capable of such a nasty thing.

The friend that I slapped told me after I moved here, what she didn't like about Aalia, and then they had stopped being friends.

Aalia totally got her life together, got into what she has told me is a happy marriage (regardless about what her other friends have been saying), and that's all I know until she got mad over my opinions of what constitutes "true independence" for a woman, and the fact that I slapped our mutual friend.

Aalia constantly misread anything I wrote her. What she took as "wasta" was actually me saying that I know women in saudi who have good jobs and how they got those jobs {via having experience and a degree}, not inferring wasta AT ALL, but talking about employment possibilities for the friend I had slapped.

My husband threatened to take legal action against her, but also, that isn't wasta.

Unless you are the friend I slapped, or Aalia herself, I don't feel ANY OF THIS is your business.
So if you are a good person at all, you wouldn't be anonymous, you'd just email us.

Please let me know via a comment once you've read this. I will probably take it down, because I don't want it to be my fault if anyone suspects anything about anyone else wrongly because of anything I have written, as has obviously been happening to me.

P.S. If I were a HORRIBLE person, I'd post the things the girl I slapped had told me via FB messages and emails. I still have them. If Aalia herself would like to read them, I can email what that person said to her. But I won't be puting anything on the internet.

Also, I still have the two old cellphones that both Aalia and the girl-I-slapped used during their time in Oman WHILE I was in Canada. While I have personally deleted everything on that phone I believe was not my business to read... my husband's brother and my boss who are IT people assure me now that it is not deleted completely, and can be restored. If the girls would like to read back their lives, they are welcome to. I WILL ONLY GIVE THAT TO THEM {and maybe my husband if he had to go so far as do that since that phone has my past on it as well;)}, so I wish they wouldn't take this as a threat and threaten to post anything bad about me. I just wish people wouldn't mix me up with them, or anything they said--or even people who are against Aalia, whoever Saving Aalia really is.

Because why we are not friends, why we are fighting, is not anyone's business but our own. My friend didn't deserve that I hit her. Not ever. Allah knows my intention was {then} to help not hurt, and I am sorry. But it had nothing to do with Aalia, nothing to do with you. And certainly, had nothing to do with our housemaid. It was a side-topic in this post. Not all this drama.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Naseeah Ismail: May Allah help to guide someeone good to your door then, ameen.

Thank you. I talk too much, and whoever anonymous is they probably know I have a burning itch to explain things. What they don't know is, that I can't explain everything without saying something bad about someone else.

So that leaves me in the situation of: a. either I can prove where they are wrong and I am right, and apologize to the point I have no shame for anything wrong I have ever done and let people publically decide what was the greater wrong--- but then I am not covering other people's stuff, and you totally could call me a mean backbiter then, or b. I say nothing and they continue, knowing I don't know how to do the above in a correct way, only a mean one, and it will eat me. My personality is to explain and over explain even.

Or I guess I could be smart and go with c.?: I could just say, Allah judges intentions, and knows all actions, and anything bad they say about me, a lie, goes against them, and a truth, will be put on their scale as well so that should make it less {stressful?} for me.

I don't know. I am probably not the wisest;). But thank you anyway. I will try to end this in the comments post anyways.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

ANON: If mean her Emirati ex husband was told where she was {i.e. Oman} by Aalia, so you can understand why I am confused. He already knew that. He was sending her money there, an allowance to live on. He didn't know her address in Oman, no one told him that, but he knew she lived in Oman right? He sent her money there so obviously.

Her crazy {Saudi/} second husband, I never talked to other than once he sent me a message on FB from Aalia's account? I actually don't have clear details on ANYTHING about him. I never talked to him. I thought he WAS Aalia at the time, trying to prank me or something because his English was so bad.

Her husband (current one) now has never contacted me, nor I him. I do know his phone number though, since my husband had wanted to call him when he was ill.

Let's be clear on that. I am not saying ANYTHING bad on Aalia. To any of the men in her life, past or present.

confused why your friends all deleted you from their lives said...

Also, I still have the two old cellphones that both Aalia and the girl-I-slapped used during their time in Oman WHILE I was in Canada. While I have personally deleted everything on that phone I believe was not my business to read... my husband's brother and my boss who are IT people assure me now that it is not deleted completely, and can be restored. If the girls would like to read back their lives, they are welcome to. I WILL ONLY GIVE THAT TO THEM {and maybe my husband if he had to go so far as do that since that phone has my past on it as well;)}, so I wish they wouldn't take this as a threat and threaten to post anything bad about me. I just wish people wouldn't mix me up with them, or anything they said--or even people who are against Aalia, whoever Saving Aalia really is.-end of quote this is the same anonymous from before. Are you reading what you type? And newsflash I know Alia SHE IS NOT THE TYPE OF PERSON TO JUST LEAVE BEHIND CELL PHONES. Good attempt to blackmail her you know what I am saving everything you say about her and will send to her with a bottom line readind PLEASE ALIA GO GET THIS GIRL AND MAKE HER STOP TALKING SHIT ABUOT YOU GIRLS AND RUINING EVERYONES LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or will you just blame that whole sentence about cell phones on one of the supposed other three writers to this blog? Who dont really exist but how would the rest of us know really know anyways,right? Maybe as proof of your words,tell us which phone Alia gave you I mean take a picture from your most likely shitty phones you can only afford DESPITE SAYING YOU HAVE A LOT OF MONEY TO SPEND and show us this supposed old cell phone.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Dear anonymous: I am not blackmailing Aalia. AT ALL. I am just saying, if the girls want to read who said what about whom and everything bad they claim I did, it is in writing if they want it, and then Aalia can decide for herself, who she wants to trust, and what kind of person I am.

I also wonder, so what if you know her? I know (now we can say knew) her too.

I knew her in Victoria and she was an entirely different person than she was in UAE. I loved the Aalia who I knew in Victoria. She taught me to pray, was honest, upfront, spoke her mind.

Aalia in UAE was going through something. I guess she continued to go through it when she went to Muscat, but you'd have to ask the girl-I-hit about that, since everything that I KNOW about that, comes from her as I wasn't there. Same with when she moved back to Canada (I had already moved back to OMan). Everything I knew about her was second-hand information from the girl-I-slapped.

Obviously, I have more reason to dislike the girl I slapped now, as she's done worse to me than anything Aalia EVER DID, so why don't I just publish her name if I was so mean???

Or for example, the person Aalia is now in Saudi I know just a little. To me personally, she seems grounded now, and happy, and totally sinless to all of my knowledge, but we've never been super close since UAE. she changed, and is happier now, and that is all I know. We don't have a lot in common anymore, so I am not too sad about losing her friendship. It seems to come with drama and why people want to see her fall so much I don't know... I wish that was over for her, because being involved in that has been done for me a long time now. Since UAE.

However, I am free to dislike what Aalia wrote to me as I want to;) about the girl-that-I-slapped. It was mean.

The phone that I am talking about was the girl's who I hit, and additionally my old phone that my mother had bought but that the girl who I hit bought from my mother and then gave back to me.

Aalia used it while she was in Muscat.

Why, I don't know. Like I said, I wasn't in Muscat at the same time as her. But I know that she used it, at least as far as I can trust the word of the-girl-I-slapped.

And if Aalia does read this blog, my father finally told me last night, who it was who told MY father about my co-wife (sorry Sar. B, I was led me to believe it could only be you or Im. Ham). It was the girl-I-slapped. My father says if Aalia wants to ask him she can. As Aalia said to me at the time "who does that?". My father was also beside me the night her Emirati ex phoned me. I was at his house. IN CANADA. While she and the girl-I-slapped were living in Muscat.

I don't know why you think I have it in for Aalia. Even the girl-who-I-slapped, I just don't like her anymore, or care to know anything about them. I just don't want to be confused with anything they or even one of them, did.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

I just read what you said about picture of the phones. Totally can do that;). But give me an email to send it to. It isn't a blackmail, it is just a fact. Or if you know Aalia, ask her to forward you the email.

I DO use crappy phones:). I like them. I am not an IT person. I don't track IP addresses. I simply don't like smart phones, and since I often break the camera on my phone, which is the only application I use on it besides calling and texting and recieving calls, I don't see the point in my buying an expensive phone. I have a lap-top for internet and everything else in my life.

I don't know why that is so offensive to you.

AND I AM NOT RICH. Never claimed to be. What I claim is financial independence. From my family, from my husband, and from the government.

Also, don't know why that is offensive to you.

I have been dirt poor, like when I first moved to Oman without a job, or when I first married my husband... and I have never been rolling in money and never claimed to. That my old work used to buy me designer abayas is no lie and that I was friends with some Omani girls from rich families, is a fact. At the same time as that my husband drove a 500 OMR car whose door wouldn't open. I don't care about cars or phones. I wear cheap make-up. I happen to like fashion. I'll buy a designer purse, but a 20 OMR phone.

Again, if you are not so materialistic, why does that bother you?

Other girls write the blog besides me at times, and their financial situations are different than mine. Again, I don't know why that bothers you. Everyone who knows anyone that you and I allude to, actually isn't related to the other OPNO girls at all [although the girl-I-slapped met one contributer during Ramadan], and knows who I am, so why would I say they had the cellphones???? I am confused. The other OPNO girls remain anon. because sometimes they write stuff about their Omani inlaws, or the policies of Omani government, or they just don't want to be bothered by haters. I choose to be anonymous almost all the time for the same reasons. But I don't let anyone take any punishment for me. Like, if I wrote something against the gov. on this blog, I wouldn't be like, it was this blog contributer, not me.

That is pretty much all I have to say on the subject.

Dismayed said...

This is a very angry post and seems to have opened up many wounds - be careful you don't end up hurting people

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Sara: I don't know if there is a way to edit comments? I don't know if you meant your comment just for me... or for public view.

What I wrote is how I know Aalia. Everything I know firsthand from seeing with my own eyes. Like I said, since she moved to Saudi, I KNOW nothing. And I do not wish to.

I haven't been friends with her on FB for a while, and deleted anyone who was friends with those people if I didn't know them well.

{To the girl who DOES know Aalia and wrote me on FB asking to still talk with me, I can't message you back due to your privacy settings so better to email our blog}

I no longer trust what even my IRL friends say about other friends and prefer to be friends with people who tell me to shut up if I even begin to open my mouth up about something that could be backbiting you know? Those are the only people I really trust these days.

I totally believe what you are saying is possible, but if I didn't see it with my own eyes or hear it with my own ears, it would be a sin to believe it, and I can't post or pass that stuff on, even to my credit, you know?

And this post wasn't about Aalia. I don't know, why does everything on blogger HAVE to be about her??? I resent people thinking I want to smear her or hear anything bad about her.

I told Aalia herself, I don't care anymore. I'm done.

This blog isn't about Aalia. It is about life in Oman, life with Omani inlaws, life occasionally even as an expat.

If you want to comment on any of that, I welcome it.

Anonymous said...

Pixie-
I think you should just delete all these comments to avoid the fitnah.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Anon: You mean the post itself? Because there is nothing angry about it. It is about treating employees nice even if that means they {could} hurt you.

You probably meant the comment section?

I am not angry, though obviously someone out there is angry at me.

I am not going to write anything bad about Aalia to hurt her or even the girl-I-hit besides what I was accused of wrongly that she did, not me. I won't even post comments of people claiming this or this about anyone. In Oman, you aren't allowed to do that anyways.

It is crime here, punishable by a big fine or jail time, to say ANYTHING about anyone you don't have a firsthand account of/ and proof of. And here, if you want to do that to them, you have to do it through the courts before the internet ect... or it is STILL a crime.

Kind of like, how, in Islam, it's a sin;)

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

LAst comment not anon--dismayed

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Anon jan 14 2:43 am: DOn't worry, I won't post anything bad about anyone else that anyone else might write.

But I reserve the right to leave up my response to the anonymous who accused me of making up a stalker blog about Aalia or talking to her husband ect...

UNLESS any comments are further about the blog content itself, and not Aalia, or me, I will not post them.

Housewife Peaches said...

Hello & asalaam alaikum,

Just thought I would share my thoughts since I am kinda the main focus of this conversation...

At this point in time, no one really cares *who* made that dumb ass Blog trying to make like they know me -- all it says is I'm a liar including comments written by ppl we already know have mental issues. Okay, and? Only God Himself knows who had the time and energy (and more than likely no life at all) to come up with such a thing LoL

I see some of you Anonymous users trying to stir up sh*t from the past, and apparently have already found my quiet corner bringing in your negative nonsense but it's not going any further. Like Pixie asked in a comment previously, why some of you are so obsessed with what I do or what goes on in my life qualifies as beyond curiosity but actually if I saw you in the street and you had the mind to act all brave & tough running your mouth then I would love to show you what I think of cyber-bullies. Or any bully in general but those who hide behind computer screens and anonymity are a special class as COWARD LOSERS.

Its not anyone's business what happens between Pixie, me, Jason or Freddy -- all's that needed to be said and done has been said and done. Fini. Nothing else to see or hear so leave my name and whatever happened in the past, umm, in the past... LoL (sorry its 4:30am and I need to sleep).

It's a new year and time to drop all the needless drama and hating. I hope this comment will put a stop to all the silly questions about who said what, who did this or who did that. We, as in anyone who leads a normal life, just wanna be positive. If you can't do that -- and I mean anyone who is harassing the editor of this Blog or talking like they know me -- click on little profile thing and leave me a comment. Usually when someone has something to say to someone they will do it privately and using their real identities but then again... Its much easier using a fake name or ID to hide behind the computer screen and act like you're some big-shot, I guess.

Take care everyone and remember, life is short. Go pray, bake a cake or something mmmkay kthnxbye.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Anonymous: I am sure they are talking about me. And I know who they are, I don't need evidence. I already know;). They are mad at me, have a little truth, mix it up with not-from-me-at-all stuff, so I will give them that excuse. But you know the saying, "don't worry about what people say behind your back, it means that they are behind you"? I am trying to live like that.

If they post photos of me, let me know, because I promised my husband that, but other than that, there is nothing I can say or do that will make them stop. They don't want reason or logic.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Aalia: Wa alaykom e salaam ramatullahi wa barakato, I am sorry they turned my post into this. I will not post any further comments. They should be happy they forced you to comment and that should be good enough for them, I don't know. Some people do seem obsessed with you, either for you, or against you.

I was joking to M here in Oman, that if you want a ludicrous ammount of page veiws, just let someone put the name "aalia" or "pixie" into a post, and that's what you'll get, a bunch of bored, childish Muslim women attacking eachother.

The usual Muscat/Oman-based blogger community isn't so shallow or terrible. And they are mostly non-Muslims. They don't jump on a wagon loaded with "bullshit" the first chance they can get. Something rather tragic to think on, as I start my morning.

Anonymous said...

Not all runaways still...I know two ladies runaway they were in one sponsor. there salary is 120omr.but they work 18hours.there madam not giving them rest in afternoon even 5mins.if they late even 2mins in waking up in morning the whole day they will clean..their madam don't let them take a day off.sometimes half day off if their madam in good mood.. that's only if in good mood..also difficult their room have CCTV.that's invading of privacy in violation of human Rights. most of the time they didn't eat well.bcoz their madam always checking. why the eggs run out fast.were do cheese.if they cooked.they served it all in wait for the left over for them to eat...these are true stories.added to it.even they do their work good still the madam look for excuse to get angry.little mistake they were humiliate even in front of other people..what they want is to work.earn money for their family.why some sponsor doing too much harsh to these people. why they think these people cannot get tired.they are human also.need rest..don't get me wrong,it just DAT some omanies if their maids run away they file case they still even they didn't.for what is that ..to save their ego....end take note.these two ladies not only runaway from that family..the first also runaway in the others didn't finish contract ends wish to sent home...at this point you will see that this sponsor have really character problem. so don't misjudge the runaway maids they are victims here...