In the New Year I may have to get a maid (which I am really, really against doing). I will be the first OPNO to have a baby, and I am a worker not a stay-at-home type. Though I am happy every day that I was given a husband who gives me the choice of both, and doesn't think less of me for either or try to force either role on me.
While I do enjoy extra time off, I get bored of my house. My mind needs something new daily. I feel like I've fallen out of current events, and lost half my intelligence (and strangely, I accomplish alot less around the house with all this spare time, than I did when I was working. I guess when I had a schedule I managed to squeeze in alot more. Now I am always like, well, I have time for that tomorrow....).
Maybe I will change my mind if the baby really needs me? I don't know.
And also, I have debt from before I was a Muslim I really need to pay, and don't feel too comfy asking my husband for anything like that, as it was my sin, ect, I should be the one to clear it up. And while I know my husband will spoil me anything I ask for within reason of what he can afford (and sometimes more than that, as he's worse at banking than I am) that makes me feel like I am 12 years old again, like I have to keep in mind how much that new dress I want costs ect, whereas, if it were my own money, I wouldn't have to care about running out of grocery funds or gas ect, or the fact that I just bought something nice and expensive, and my husband wears the same dishdasha 5 times a week without complaint and his coworkers tease him about his car whose door that won't open from the inside. Yeah, don't want to be that "dalal" girl [dalal means "spoiled", which means a good thing in Arabic but my Western mind can't wrap my head around that yet] who is oblivious to all that.
So. If I go to work, I will have to get a maid. There is no such thing as daycare where we live, and while there are schools for children of speaking age, for babies, nada. Also, there really aren't any partime maids around where we live. I think I am the only woman in the tribe (beyond those who are financially struggling) who doesn't have a maid, and doesn't want one.
Why do I not want one?
Oh so many reasons.
Firstly, not all maids are good. And not all people who have maids (or who associate with those who have maids) are good. I don't want anyone I know to deal with an employee of mine in a way that I think is injust or rude or abusive, yada yada yada.
My family has had maids that stole, hit the children, brought strange men into their houses, ect. This is rare but happens, and my husband would freak Omani style (a reaction I'd not support so we'd be fighting over what happens to a bad maid even if I didn't like the bad maid), ect. The most common thing is, is gossip. Maids talk to other maids, and family news goes through the whole tribe ect., and I am already an oddity without anything of this kind stemming from my house lol.
I also have family that force non-Muslim maids to wear the headscarf, and limit their freedom of movement, and what they can do on their days off. My maid would have all the rights I'd expect anyone working for me or with me to have, but I know people from the tribe would be like "why doesn't she wear a headscarf, blah blah", not understanding the hijab properly themselves or what rights non-Muslims, even employees, have.
All such hassles I don't want in my life.
So I was thinking of what my add for the perfect maid would like exactly. Here's what I came up with.
Omani/English Muslim family looking for a full-time maid, for care of 1 small baby, and occasional cooking and washing of dishes. English language required, and Arabic will be beneficial. Religion is not a requirement, but respect for our Islamic faith is. Mother works during the day and requires fulltime care of infant from Saturday-Wednesday 7 am-6pm, and cooking and clean up after that. Position affords 2 days off in a row, and paid holidays (to be negotiated at interview). Help with cooking and cleanup (dishes), will be required on most working days to feed family of 3 for lunch and dinner. Maid will have a furnished room [and I mean furnished with a bed, a locking wardrobe, a dressing table/nightstand, air conditioner et all and a key for privacy, not an ironing board, sleeping mat, and washing machine] and while she will recieve the standard salary for her position, if the family is satisfied monthly with her work ethic, she will be alloted a bonus, to be paid at her selected holiday. Must be gentle and caring with children, self-motivated, and adhere to house rules when within our home. This means, she is not to bring any guests into the home without recieving approval from her employer first, even on her days off if she chooses to stay at the house during her days off, cannot bring alcohol or drugs into the home, and of course stealing of any kind will not be tolerated. Any case where she is suspect of the previous, she will be paid what salary she is owed, and her employment terminated. She must wear clothing that meets the working requirements of her employer [to be provided by the employer] while residing within the house or leaving the house for work reasons within working hours, but this does not include the headscarf for any non-Muslim candidate applying for the position, or pertain to any of her non-working hours spent outside the residence of her employment.
*Husband requires maid to be of mature age and/ or married, as he has had bad experiences with friend's and family's younger maids hitting on him, but wife says this is not necessary, for if she hears one word from her husband about any prospective maid doing any such thing, employer will a. kick maid's butt, b. give maid what salary is owed, c. send her packing. So do not apply if any male family member could cause you trouble in this regard, any prospective applicants. If you want help getting married, we'll advise you, but we won't support or tolerate any kind or immodesty or immoral behaviour within our family.*
----Really that's about it. I don't really need a maid beyond taking care of baby while I am working, and feeding husband dinner and lunch if I am late, and saving me the leftovers. I won't work weekends so I won't need baby care, and should be able to manage doing my own dishes twice a week and the rest of the house chores like laundry, ironing, and cleaning the floors and bathrooms.
Sigh... not what I want but something I have to think about I guess.
Anybody else have any suggestions of what to add to my maid-requirement list, or have a solution for me other than hiring live-in help??????