Thursday, June 9, 2011

A Post About Ants in the Shower, and how mine are the dumbest

This is going to be a lame post. If you get this in the feed widget of blogs that you follow, you have been warned. For while other bloggers tackle educating the misinformed Islamic masses, and rampant animal cruelty issues, or at least blogging a reveiw of the last good piece of litterature you read, I for one, am going to talk about ants. I am the owner of some of the world's dumbest ants. I feel you should know this, though why exactly, I don't know. But really, they are the most retarded little "namla" [Arabic for ants] you are ever going to come across.

If you live anywhere in the Middleeast, odds are, you have gotten used to the little tiny ants that live in your shower. WHY I have had ants in all the showers in all the houses in all the apartments I have ever had in ME, I don't know. I don't eat in there. There's not crumbs, no morsels for them to survive on. But they live there, in my house, and in everybody elses' houses that I know. Some people get the little namla so bad they buy bug sprays to kill them.

This is not necessary for my namla [aka ants, if you didn't get that yet]. See, these little ants are not the biting kind. They are small, they are harmless, and that is not why at all it isn't necessary for me to load up on roach spray and murder them.

The simple fact is, the ants in my house are the dumbest ants I have ever seen.

Most people have to buy the bug sprays because the ants rapidly repopulate and take over and build nests.

My namla tried that. But they just were not smart enough to figure that if they tried to build a nest under the waste paper bin the bin would be lifted every few days for the garbage to be taken out, and thus all their efforts were doomed from the start. I thought this made them of average intelligence, along the lines of ordinary ants. But it got even better.

They got even stupider. For the last five months they have taken to building their nest on the floor drain [why Oman does not have piped plumbing, I blame the cheap imported 3rd world labour]. While this may seem smart because under the drain they are no bother to ordinary humans like myself who might wish to destroy their nest once it gets too big, the ants have not figured out that they are in fact, killing themselves.

Yes, my ants are the best, of all stupid but slightly cute pests that infest your home, they are by far the brightest [sarcasm, I suck at it]. See, the thing is, once the nest becomes too big, it falls off of the roof of the drain into the water below and disipates, and a good portion of the namla routinely die. So I don't have to keep them in check.

I don't know about you, but I think my cute little ants are by far the dumbest but hardest working creatures in Oman.


Lamya said...

Oh my, they sound like the best ants ti have. I have seen ants climb across a wall when my bathroom flooded to keep up what ever they where doing, I still to this day don't know where they came from.

C said...

we have ants in the office nowadays, they tried to get into tightly sealed box of biscuits (you know, thos carrefour ones that are individually wrapped, then put in a box, then sealed with a transparent wrap??) they got stuck inside the transparent wrap and that was the end of their little ant lives!

Umm Aaminah said...

Aaminah would have a heart-attack! My sweet little just-turned-3-yr old is fascinated by ants and really creatures of all kinds. She will lay on her belly for 15 minutes just watching them go about their tiny little lives.

She would be so sad to see them routinely committing mass suicide. Glad we don't have them danged Omani ants here. :-))

BTW, I think I should call her little namla now... cute nickname for her. ;-)