Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Badr and Water & seeing the dam in Quaryat

Being from one of the most water-rich places in the entire world, I am quite amazed by how people react to water in a desert-country.

Story number 1: Driving to UAE to renew my passport stamps AGAIN I fall asleep while my trusted taxi driver (not all of them are scary) Badr drives us up to Al Bahrimi. Fast asleep I am shaken from sleep by an excited cry from Badr: "Water!" I expect a flood, rain, even another Gonu, but I am staring out the window, and I see nothing. I am mystified (and still half asleep) as Badr pulls over to the side of the road. Maybe it is going to start raining. Omanis don't drive in the rain as a rull. Badr gets out of the car and makes me do the same. Way on the other side of the road is a kind of a puddle, complete with algae and bugs. Badr, LOL!, takes out his cellphone and take takes a picture. Also, later, when we stop for Mahndi (a Yemeni meat dish on a plate of rice) for lunch, I am given a HALF AND HOUR video of a very sad excuse for a waterfall to watch for entertainment. Gotta love Badr and the way he loves water hehehe.

Story number 2: Driving up to the village of Qurayat an Omani friend is VERy excited because we are given special permission (through wasta) to see Oman's dam. It has, I am informed, 6kms of water. It is all very pretty you know, and while we are up there, we even had a sprinkle of rain, but lol, it was nothing compared to the two dams I grew up around, and one I saw on a drive with my parents when I was young that had 300 km of water hehehe. Omanis and water is a very special thing. It is like when you give a kid a box and they like to play in it mashaAllah. It makes me happy.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

What I lost in Translation, is my ability to speak English

When I am typing text messages I have started to writing like my Omani friends. It drives my English-speaking friends insane lol. Somewhere in the middle of translating Omani-English messages, I started thinking in the same bad grammer and spelling he he he. Some commen examples that I shall translate for ya'll:

Is it warmth there?
This mean "is it warm there?"

u ali the time make me to lugh
This means I am very funny and "all the time" make my friends "laugh"

i will tray
"I will try"

take it esay, whay yeh need it
"Take it easy, why do you need it?"

no, i am not eat
"no, I haven't eaten."

till me
"Tell me."

Is besaid me
"He's beside me"

sorry i wake up u?
"sorry, did I wake you up?"

Am tootley taird
"I am totally tired."

I had thies falling...
"I had this feeling"

My Advice for All WOULD-BE-CASSANOVAS in Oman

My advice for all would-be Cassanovas and wannabe Romeos in Oman:

Stop honking at me when you drive by. It scares the $&^%^U&^ out of me.

Don't creep after a woman in your car, window down, and say "Lsimat ya ukti." As far as I know, "stalker" IS never on the list of criteria my friends have for what they are looking for in a boyfriend (those girls that are indeed looking for a fling---this isn't how Omani men and women get married after all).

And if you are going to call a girl your sister "ya ukti", don't even be thinking of @#$%^&*( her. Incest is trait women consider unattractive.

If you pull over in front of me and cut me off in a very intimidating attempt to impress me with how confident you are, be sure not to side-swipe me and run me down. This hurts, and instead of buying me dinner and taking me shopping, as I'nm sure you were about to offer, the only thing you'll be paying for is my hospitol bill, got it?

*****Honestly, I have no real trouble with men in Oman, excepting marriage proposals in taxis, and guys scaring me to death with their car horns, and nearly running me down in an attempt to try and pull-over to talk to me LOL. Please note, I know many wonderful kind Omani men who would never stoop to this creepy behaviour, but some of these losers ruin it for the rest of them. But women, when men act like idiots, treat them like idiots.

I have a lovely story about how I dealt with one would-be stalker.
First off, he is following me for a half a mile in his neon green car. I ignore him and he pulls ahead of me and pulls over and waits for em to walk by, saying stuff in arabic. I ignore him completely, no eye contact, no verbal respsonse. this is usually enough for most would-be Romeos but this fool won't give up. Finally, I yell at him "I don't speak Arabic!" cuz I know, if he doesn't speak English, all I am going to be able to say is "shorta" (police) and "ayb" (shame) in Arabic. The idiot in the green car pulls ahead again.

"I speak perfect English."

I walk up to the side of his car as if this changes everything and smile sweetly.

"Oooooh, I am so glad, because then you'll understand me if I want to tell you something about myself."

He nods slowly, a dopy, sleepy smile crawling across his seedy face.

I continue. "I am a Muslimah. And I don't talk to men, and you are not supposed to either, so have some taqwa (fear of Allah/the OneandOnlyGod)!"

He keeps trying, and the old-ukti line comes out. "But Sister! I only wanted to help you."

Uh huh. Yeah right. I smile sweetly at him again. "Then forgive me, Brother, if I am mistaken. But should I pray men offer to help your mother and sister the same?"

The shame dawns on him and he crawls further back away from the window of his car. I start walking again. if they speak English, works on those that don't give up everytime.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm Back!

Sooooooooooooooooooooo long it has been since I have posted. I have so many things to write about that my head is spinning. Shall I write about where I was taken to the most beautiful farm in Al Mosanah, or where I thought a taxi driver was calling me a cat but was really saying "kiss" and tried to molest me, the festival up in Quriyat, seeing the dammn in Quriyat, my other taxi driver who gets VERY excited by the sight of water, my cool way for sending men away ashamed who try to hit on me, or how I have started to talk like my Omani friends, bad grammer et al?????? I'll start with the funniest I think. Actually, all the stories are funny come to think of it, don't be scared for me.I like to have adventures LOL.