Sunday, December 12, 2010

The 'Sexist' and 'Miss Manners'

If you came from my cultural background (as I do when it comes to manners of speech) you would probably think my husband [referred to on this blog as MOP] kind of sexist.

“Take dress!” he orders me when I am being lazy and don’t want to go to work and want to stay in my pajamas all day with a big fat orange cat on my lap, painting or reading.

In Carrefoure or Lulu: “Come here!” “Go there.” “Give me that,” as he snatches away my heavy basket which I insist upon lugging since I am strong enough to do so, and he is already pushing the cart and all, and carrying my lap top bag from work.

Gone are the ‘honeymoon’ days before marriage, when he would say “please come here” or “please get dressed”, or “thank-you” for handing him this or that, you would think.

Sometimes, I forget I am “Omani” now, and get all offended.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” I bark. “Take dress!” I scoff. “Now I will take EVEN LONGER to get ready, HA! Cuz you are bugging me:p!!!!!”

Yes, yes, I idiotically do that.

In my culture, saying “please” “thank you” “you’re welcome” are absolutely tantamount to respect and care, and of course, these things should certainly not be left out for the one you love.
So when I say Thank you, MOP, for bringing me the mango juice I asked for.” “Thank you MOP, for buying us dinner” HE gets all offended, like, “You are my wife, what am I supposed to do? Thank you is for strangers.”

Apparently, for family and loved ones and the closest of friends, barking orders is a way to show you are bestest best friends forever and the like.

I admit. I can’t do it.

I cannot bark orders or fail to get offended when I am told, not asked to do something.

I admire MOP. He has changed alot, and me, only very little.

MOP has adapted his manners accordingly, but still thinks it most absurd that I like “please” and “thank you”.

And I can't upload pipctures now because I for some reason, have blocked file uploads to the net from my desktop with new software, IT genius that I am;)

5 comments:

Lamya said...

LOL about the laptop wall, inshallah you will get it fixed.

Yep about the thank you, to get around it why not try "thank Allah that you have been brot into my life". complement and still keeping the thank you but directing it slightly away so keeping with cultural feelings. can never go wrong with thanking Allah.

♥ααℓiα♥ said...

In my culture, saying “please” “thank you” “you’re welcome” are absolutely tantamount to respect and care, and of course, these things should certainly not be left out for the one you love.

OH absolutely!! If my Mom saw me forgetting to see "please" or "thank-you" she would give me The Look LOL One thing I had to get used to was that many ppl over here DON'T use these terms not because they are trying to be rude but... Well I don't really know why they don't LOL

AHAHAHAHA that's so funny I can totally imagine you telling MOP (or whoever else) "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!"

BTW got your text <3 thnx it was a nice wake-up gift xoxo

Omani Princess (not Omani LOL) said...

Lamya: He'd probably like it, but not as much as I say thank you. "Alhamdulilah Allah brought you into my life to take me out for dinner and buy me mango juice, ect, and strepsils when I have a cold." lol.

Omani Princess (not Omani LOL) said...

Aalia: lol, you know me. Stubbornest woman in the world.

I am glad you got it. I was trying to send another one before for forever. I am like, um, her blog says she's okay, but I don't know....

Umm Ibrahim said...

salaams...lol...dh comes from a very old fashioned, traditional Persian family and they r VERY similar...dh usually doesnt do this as hes been in the US a LONG time...but sometimes does and I get very offended...but when we go there and esp around his side of the family...eeegards...do this, do that, now, hurry, food, tea, now, now, now...its very abrupt and gruff. Yer noone really minds, even once I remember my husbands brothers wife joking that her husband doesnt even want her to open her mouth to talk...LOL cuz half the time when she tells him something he tells her to stop talking to much.

Im not a huge fan but hey its just how they r.