Saturday, October 2, 2010

RANT: I can't marry her in Islam because I slept with her

from the Shebab:

OPNO and random nameless Shebab are discussing marriage (not TO EACHOTHER!!!). Shebab says to OPNO he's only loved one girl before, but he can't marry her.

"Oh no!" Goes OPNO mentally. What other retarded cultural Omani crap (high maher, not the right skintone, not the right tribe last name) was she about to encounter?


Shebab: "I can't marry her, because I am Ibhadhi [sect of Islam] and our tasfeer [understanding of Qu'ran varrying from sect to sect] says that a man cannot marry a woman he's slept with before marriage."

OPNO looks confused, but she knows exactly which part of the Qu'ran that tasfeer could come from.

"OPNO: "Because the Qu'ran says the "pure men are for the pure women and the pure women for the pure men?"

Shebab: "Exactly."

OPNO: [raising one eyebrow]. "Who are you going to marry then? A virgin?! Or some chick your friends have slept with already? I may be Sunni, but that verse is kind of obvious. That means YOU (definately not pure dude) can only marry a woman same as you. Um, the girl you loved? She'd BE that. Anyways, why do you think the ROP sometimes "force" couples caught fooling around into marriage anyways?"
Shebab looks at OPNO and wished her the best (or better) in her love life, and absorbs her thought, as strange as it is.
I don't know about the other Muslims out there, but this is strange one to me. Since I am not Ibadhi, what is a man supposed to do who had premarital sex (besides be flogged)? The Qu'ran does not allow him a virgin, and this interpretation allows him not even the girl he slept with, so is he supposed to marry a girl someone ELSE slept with, and the girl LIKEWISE? Sounds stupid to me. Sorry. Explain it if I got it wrong.


Anonymous said...

First of all, he shouldn't have slept with her in the first place, if he really wanted her, he should have married her and he'll get to sleep with her as many times as he wants.

( how come he remembers Islam when he wants to "marry" her and didn't remember Islam when he "slept" with her!!)

Islam never said that if you're not a virgin than you can't marry a virgin. A lot of people are divorced or widowed and they are yet to marry virgins if they want. Even those you have slept with other women before marriage, they can marry whomever they want.

The thing is why Islam said that you can't marry the one you slept with is because you have committed a sin. let me put it to you in another way, if someone murders lets say their father to inherit the money fast Islam punishes him by not getting anything from him because he was in a hurry to inherit the money and commited a sin. Same as the guy who slept with the girl, he was in a hurry to sleep with that girl, he couldn't wait to marry her.

من استعجل الشئ قبل اوانه, عوقب بحرمانه

I hope I make sense

Omani Princess (not Omani LOL) said...

Anon: No question. Fornication is haraam in Islam. Shebab understands this and is a better man now.

AND actually Islam DID say if you are an IMPURE man or WOMAN you CANNOT marry a PURE one. The Qu'ran says the pure are for the pure, the good for the good.

Widows, and divorced women are still pure. They didn't commit the sin of fornication. They are as good as virgins in Islam (depsite the cultural bias in Oman against this).

Whereas, the man that has sex outside of marriage, he is not divorced, he is not a widower, HE IS IMPURE with the sin of fornication, and YES, in Islam, by the Qu'ran's own text, it says he can only marry a woman of his own like. ie "the impure are for the impure."

And I never heard the Prophet ever say that the fornicator could not marry the fornicator. The text says "the adulteress is for the adulterer, and likewise". Which means these two are meant for eachother or someone of their moral likeness.

I still think the last part of the explaination is pretty weak.

And the punishment for murder in Islam is to be killed and of course someone who is going to be killed isn't going to inherit so the example doesn't work from a Shariah perspective.

Omani Princess (not Omani LOL) said...

Just wondering. Sorry if I am still bringing up more points and require more of an explaination!

Anonymous said...

It's hard for me to type and get my point through, as english isn't my native language.

But if you want to be more sure, it's better if you call this number 24644666 it's the fatwa's office, hopefully they can be able to enlighten us on what is really correct.

please let me know if you do call them.

Anonymous said...

btw, I know that the punishment of murder is to kill him as well, but what if the family forgave him he'll be alive and WILL NOT inherit the money.

Omani Princess (not Omani LOL) said...

Anon: Thank you for the number. I rarely like fatwas, but love the daleel behind them. I personally don't follow something to the excat point if the Prophet SAW wasn't specific about it. But what you said about the family forgiving the murderer, yes, that is true.

Omani Princess (not Omani LOL) said...

And your English is very good! Better than my Arabic!

Anonymous said...

thank you :)

B said...

Many scholars believe that since true repentance is required for zaani and zaaniyah to marry again, simply marrying each other is not appropriate; they must completely return to the faith and maybe many years later reapproach marriage with each other Islamically. If they just got married they wouldn't really be repenting, it's like rewarding them for the zina by going around the wishes of the woman's wali anyway. In this view, the ROP are wrong and encouraging sin by forcing couples who commit zina to marry.

That said, i think many men just think they can't be "impure," only women can be impure from zina, which is the common belief in the West which causes much harm there.

candy olive said...

It irks me how common fornication is!!!!!! among MUSLIMS!!!

And i'm not too sure about that interpretation of impure for impure etc.

doesn't ring true for me.

what about "covering your past sins, because Allah covers them" or something like that.

Like once you've repented for zina then you can't tell anyone that you've done it. So you'd have to announce to people that you are a fornicator so that they know who can marry whom.

Seems tad bit A-W-K-W-A-R-D?