Sunday, August 1, 2010

Relationship advice from OPNO: file under random and a "1 time" thing

Some HIGHLY jaded relationship advice from OPNO:

When someone says "i don't know" in anything to do with a relationship, it means one of two things. It could mean "no, but I don't want to hurt you" or it means "I just don't care enough about our relationship to think about the question you asked me."

Take "I don't know" as a "no". It is nicer than realizing the other person is really an idiot and just doesn't care. 'I don't care' is worse than 'no'.

Have a list of who you think you are, what you think you need out of life, things about yourself you don't want to change. Don't compromise ANY of these things to get someone. If you are worth getting and they are worth being had THEY will find you--- and life and love will BE EASY. Troubles can come after the relationship is sealed. And I am a firm believer in the following: that compromising is for after marriage. Before marriage people have to be so honest with themselves and with eachother that they might seem selfish. But the truth, and honesty, isn't selfish. It SAVES ALOT of wasted time, and shortens the pain period of a goodbye that is "written": ("written" because it is spelt out so obviously for a human being as smart as you to be able to read). Believe me.

If a man doesn't check off everything on that list I personally will move on even if I love him because the tears don't work. And even a good man isn't always the right man. Love doesn't fix everything (situations ect.). Close but not quite is still not enough for me.

Think of what the other person needs, but be demanding and bossy about what you need. If what they need destroys you a little bit every day, darling, what are you doing?! You are you. I am me, OPNO. I am not what so-and-so needs from OPNO. I am not what some guy wants OPNO to be. Compromises are for after you've worked everything else out. Serriously.
Don't wanna live somewhere?
Don't.

Wanna get married and they don't know.
Bubbye!... 'Course...

You can run after me if you want me just don't take too long.

Can't handle my love of lipstick?
If you throw it out the car window? GOOOOOOODBYE!!!!!
:)

It isn't really bitchy, but we are trained by society to think it is bitchy to want what we want.
But it isn't.

If you don't get something from before a marriage, getting it later is almost impossibly nada rare. It is knowing what you want and what you need and not compromising that. A man/woman exists that meets all those things.
If you are saying, well... if I wait it is a probably...
Life is too short. I deserve more and I know it.
Sure, saying good bye to someone you love but who doesn't give you what you need (if the shoe
doesn't fit, why is it still in your closet?) is like stabbing yourself but the pain is shorter than in the long run.
Agreed?
Agreed.
You are only stabbing yourself to push out the puss though. Better then letting it fester (regrets, bitterness, yada yada) and then having to amputate.

Yes, because the stab wound will heal, while you never grow back the part you have to remove.
Also, if you are going to be with someone, be with someone who loves you for who you are, and who you love for who they are. If they don't know who you are and still "love you" they love the idea of being in love (or something else entirely) more than you. And it is all for the wrong reasons, no matter how sweet they are being.
Yes, so that is my rather jaded advice. Enjoy. Especially the love metaphor about puss and amputations. Yummy!
....And yeah, this had nothing to do with Oman, so forgive.

2 comments:

Umm Kadhim said...

That's some good advice!

Rummy said...

Good advice indeed *nodes head*