Sunday, June 27, 2010

For Omani Guys: How NOT to PROPOSE to a girl part 1

Dear Guys,

While your attentions have been flattering (generally not, I am being nice), you SUCK at proposing to a modern (but still traditional girl). I am writing this post because I FINALLY RECIEVED A FEW DECENT proposals, lol, but that is for the daily diary not, here. This post will be about the hilariously BAD marriage lines I have been given over the years, me and my friends.
I have recieved MANY proposals of marriage since I moved to Oman, and these are combined with my friends' experiences. They often begin the same way. Here is how NOT to propose to a girl, from most common, to least common:

Beginning of BAD marriage proposal #1: "I have a house."
'Uh, ok, so do I.'

Stating that you have a house is great and all, we women love a man who lives on his own and can take care of himself and isn't living off his parents. But this is marriage AND OUR futures you are talking about. This is a detail we'll want to know about later, sure, but stating it first is like saying all we women care about when we are marrying you is getting out of our father's houses and having a roof over our heads. Generally speaking, most girls don't like to be thought of as that miskeen. LOL, and I have BEEN the definition of independent 'miskeen' for a long time now. We want to know why you want to marry us, and THEN what you can do for us. If a girl is only interested in what you can do for her, um, she's GENERALLY marrying you for the wrong reasons.
BAD marriage proposal #2: The marriage proposal so far has gone great. You like the guy, he has what you are looking for. Then he reveals what a backwards tool he is by finishing arrogantly, "You should consider it soon. You are not that young anymore.... Men don't like to marry women after 25."

'Uh! So if I was a little bit older (you would be too, you jerk!) you wouldn't consider me? women expire like milk! Oh so KIND of your offer now, tool.'

Too bad when I FIRST heard this line I was SIXTEEN years old! And many years have past and I am still getting offers.' LOL:XD

We women certainly do not like for you to imply that our inherent value to you is embued with our age which is something that will CHANGE. We went to be seen as having PERSONALITIES, ideas, and then after you appreciate that, individual physical features. We are looking for someone to enoy spending our lives with. Not someone who makes himself seem small-minded and incompatible with these basic emotional needs a woman HAS.
Bad marriage proposal #3: similiar to bad proposal #2, saying your reason for marrying is because we are "beautiful" and "fair" or because our "family is important" makes us feel you are marrying us to USE us for your own upping of social status, not because you ACTUALLY value us. And maybe you do, but just can't communicate it???????In my case, bad marriage proposal #4: Guy really doesn't try to list any of his merits. He just opens with "I will give you an Omani passport." I look at him like, what an idiot.

I came here on my own. Arab guys from non-Gulf countries are ALWAYS trying to marry me for MY passport. I love Oman and don't need an Omani passport to feel like I can do something for this country, that I am part of the landscape and culture, LOL. I love Oman. And the culture. Doesn't mean AT ALL that I will marry ANY OMANI MALE that asks me LOL:XD ;p

Ahhhhhhh, hehehehe.

Funny/really DUMB reasons Omani guys have given the women of OPNO for their proposals:

"Your nose is nice."

"I like way yu talk."

"The maher for baby girls in my family will be good because you are so white."

"I cannot afford to marry Omani girl."

"You wear abaya." And MUST thus be a good Muslim right???? Uh, ASK ABOUT THE RELIGIOUS opinions of the woman, don't just assum her religion is spot on cuz she has a scarf on her head. Makes you look like the FACADE of religion is all you care about, not the real core of the person's values.

That's about it for now.


Anonymous said...

(This is for the ladies) :P

First of all, i voted NO to your question because, foreigners don't have morals. Marrying a foreigner is like marrying an alien! His family is unknown to yours and society will question on your actions.
Personally, i don't mind marrying a foreigner, it's easier for men to get around things than for women. Lastly, Your kids will carry a weird last name like let's say his last name is Van Der Donk. Your parents beg you to at least give your child an arab name.. Ahmed Van Der Donk? LOL.. you get my drift? ;)
In conclusion, the ban should be just for women, not men.. i'm not a sexist.. let's just say it's the best advice a man has to give to a women..


Anonymous said...

LOL! So Lame. Many men like to say they got a house/car, thinking that if they say that, the woman would come running. I guess it depends on every individual woman's preferance. sf

Omani Princess (not Omani LOL) said...

PhantomX: I NOW totally believe you are Omani because you care a great deal about what society thinks lol.

SOME foreigners have morals. I am a foreigner. I have very strong morals. Would you say that I don't have morals;p?

I will do a post on my personal opinion on the sidebar next.

I know some Canadian and American Muslim men with very strong morals. Stronger than alot of my Omani guy friends from pre-Islam days I GUARANTEE YOU lol.

I agree on the name thing. Ahmed Van der Donk IS a very STUPID sounding name. Or, strange, like Georgianna Glencorra Mackenzie Al Zaabi for instance. Would you be okay with it if the non omani male had a high status (say diplomat to Oman from his country) and was a Muslim and was willing to change his family name to something less stupid sounding if his son were to be named Ahmed?

Omani Princess (not Omani LOL) said...

Sf: I KNOW! LOL, I have a house, you'll get a car. One very important Omani figure proposed to me on the merit of buying everyone in my family houses, and taking me on vacations to Paris ect... I believe my non-Muslim parents TOTALLY would have sold me if their idea about Islam being able to get rid of kids that way was right lol, but I just want a simple good man I can get along with and who I can take care of as he takes care of me. I don't want him any lazier than I am lol, but I don't want him blindly ambitious and materialistic and shallow either, rich or not.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of morals @ PhantomX, it doesn't matter whether you are Omani or not. It all boils down to character. I have worked in a place where arabs who came from their countries to study/work in the west have lose morals. They think they can *get* anyone or sleep around. What does it tell you? I have been asked out, gotten phone numbers thrown at me by arab men when all my life having lived in a non-arab country, I haven't experienced that!! I don't like stereotyping but sadly its true. sf

Anonymous said...

To PhantomX..I am Western living in Oman. After experiencing both cultures, Omani men seem to have far less morals than Westerners in their minds and hearts. I have never met a larger group of hypocrites: the majority have girls on-the-side even though married, and many lie and cheat fellow Omani and foreigners, and there is a lot more "secret stuff" going on that out does anything I knew about in the West. Most expats can see through the "facade" put up for appearance sake to the truth pretty fast, so I would feel ashamed if I were you.
So, just because it is more hidden doesn't mean it doesn't exist or Oman is more moral. The men in most Gulf countries are the biggest hypocrites in the world. You just don't seem to want to see it. Denial is the first symptom.....The West openly talks about what goes on in their societies..partly to solve issues and deal with the effects..This is one reason why you might think these issues are more prevalent in the West, but I find the "hidden" things here in Oman to be truly disturbing and immoral by any religious standard.

Anonymous said...

so phantomx... When your husband leaves u for a white woman will u be happy for him? U are so brainwashed by your own men u can't even think straight. So what if u want to marry a white man! I feel sorry for u girls. If u keep letting your wretched men get away with things such as polygamy and inequality then u will never modernize will the rest of the world with something called WOMEN'S RIGHTS! My experience with men in the gulf/Africa- not so pleasant! Hypocritical by nature! I lived in the middle east for 6 years. Wives are kept in a box their whole life and thrown away like an old shoe when a pretty naiive young thing strolls by! How's that for miserable! Sharing the love of 1 husband and 3 sets of children... Ludicrous! Why should there be a double standard? Your men are very insecure, I believe. But alas, u women all know this in your hearts and yet do nothing for the fear of being ostracized, or worse. I cannot blame u, but u are wonderful women and deserve better.
Peace and love

Anonymous said...

Why is there an image of a stereotypical blond in this post related to marriage. This must be a joke because she is definitely not the Omani standard of beauty. Oh I get it the joke is that this is what we are being trained to like.

Omani Princess (not Omani...yet) said...

Anon: No joke or relation to a beauty steroetype was meant at all. Only that pic was of an obviously Western/European woman in a wedding dress, not that Omani guys dig skinny blondes;p :)